Page 6 | To think kids can come home after school when we’re WFH?

Sleepdeprived42long · 2022-04-01T21:21:58+00:00

My two DC (age 9 and 7) both go to grandparents after school twice a week but it’s getting quite a lot for GPs as they also have my nieces. Eldest is now able to walk home by himself (10 min walk). DH and I WFH both days. Our jobs are very full on and we couldn’t supervise them after school but DCs could watch TV etc and obvs if there was an emergency we’d be there. At what age do you think it’s ok to start letting them walk home and entertain themselves for a couple of hours till we finish work?

maybloss2 · 03/04/2022 18:50

Schools have a legal responsibility to make sure children are picked up by a responsible adult, but I’m not sure until what age. Being independent at home for an hour a day is good for a child - they need to understand that adults have adult things to do sometimes and it teaches them to be confident in their own company, learning to get a snack is a life skill. Also you say it’s only for two days a week…

Daffodilz · 03/04/2022 19:35

If something God forbid happened I personally think they're too young

SoftSheen · 03/04/2022 20:13

I think you should arrange your days so that one of you can take a break at the right time to do the school run. If it's a ten minute walk then you will only need 20-30 minutes max, and if you take turns, it's only once a week each. I think most reasonable employers would consider this, provided that you either reduce your lunch break or add the time onto the end of the day.

I wouldn't let a 7 year old walk home without an adult, even 9 years old is borderline TBH. But they should be able to entertain themselves at home for an hour or two, with an adult available for emergencies.

Mandyjack · 03/04/2022 20:17

@PotteringAlong

I would let the oldest come home and the youngest go to grandparents

Yeah that sounds like a sensible option

Mandyjack · 03/04/2022 20:19

I WFH as do my colleagues some of which have school children. They use their break time to take their kids to school and pick them up so work flexibly with regards to times. My friends has twin 8yr olds who will entertain themselves after school until she finishes.

RenoSusan · 03/04/2022 20:29

If they are going to walk home alone, you need to have a chat and role play first. It goes something like this: Some old and young people like to fool children. So, if someone asks for you to help them find their lost dog or cat you run home as fast as you can. Don't talk to them or walk over to them even if they say their child is lost or they need directions. You run home.They may not exactly say these exact words but run home fast. Do not say anything to them or talk to them. Just run home fast. You may say this will never happen but....My daughter at 7 walked 5 blocks home and a man tried this on her. She said the minute he asked her to help find his lost kitten, she ran home. We went up to the police station and insisted they make a blotter entry on what happened even though they didn't want to. Then we went to the grocery store. By the time we came home two detective were there because the two little girls he molested couldn't describe the man. Guess what-my daughter described him in detail and he served many years in prison.

DrSK2 · 03/04/2022 20:29

What’s rationale — possible accidents due to non-supervision (is there an insurance for that anyway?) or is it because of disturbance having a child around?

Lem1984 · 03/04/2022 20:32

Can't one of you use a break alternate days to pick them up?

winnieanddaisy · 03/04/2022 20:46

My DGD school won't allow children to leave school without an adult until they are in years 5 and 6 . They also won't let children under year5 to be picked up by by secondary school pupils . My DGD1 couldn't collect DGD2 until DGD1 was 16 even though I was in the car park in my car. I am disabled and it's a struggle for me to get out of my car but had to anyway.

whynotwhatknot · 03/04/2022 20:51

My niece school wont let them out alone until year 5 i think-and they wont let another primary sibling take them home

MabelsApron · 03/04/2022 20:54

What happens in my team (11 of us, 9 have kids) is that the 2 of us without them are expected to do all of the 9am meetings and the 3pm/4pm meetings, and we rarely see any of the remaining 9 after 4pm anyway. It’s getting old really fast.

RavenofEngland · 03/04/2022 20:59

I don’t think primary schools allow children younger than yr 6 to leave the school without an adult. It’s a safeguarding thing. I have 2 dc, one is 11 and walks home from secondary school. He entertains himself with his ps4. Dd is 6 and I pick her up from school. I would point out that I am WFH full time too. I just use my “lunch hour” to do the school runs at each end of the day.

JustLyra · 03/04/2022 21:39

@RavenofEngland

I don’t think primary schools allow children younger than yr 6 to leave the school without an adult. It’s a safeguarding thing. I have 2 dc, one is 11 and walks home from secondary school. He entertains himself with his ps4. Dd is 6 and I pick her up from school. I would point out that I am WFH full time too. I just use my “lunch hour” to do the school runs at each end of the day.

It’s not up to schools. It’s a parental choice/

Kite22 · 03/04/2022 22:20

@Dishwashersaurous

The issue is not them being at home.

It is having to go and get them. Which is half an hour in the most meeting heavy part of the day often.

Most schools wouldn't let a age 7 leave school by themselves. Thus an adult needs to collect them

"the most meeting heavy part of the day often"

You are projecting somewhat there.
I am very unlikely to have meetings at that time of day. Nothing to do with collecting dc from school (I've not had to do that in 10 years), but everything to do with my job.

My employer requires us to sign to say we'll have childcare in place for working hours.

I absolutely agree with this as a principle. But they cannot dictate at what age your child needs "caring for" and at what age the child is able to "exist in the same building" - or are they proposing that no U18s can be in the house if you are working ?
I get quite cross on the threads where pregnant women or women on maternity leave are trying to get support for being able to wfh with a baby or toddler to care for but I have no issue with a child that (if you weren't working) you wouldn't be playing with or entertaining, or even in the same room as.
A child in KS2 can get themselves a drink or a snack without needing an adult. They can crack on with things without needing constant helicoptering by a parent too.

Even if they can entertain themselves, if they need anything, you are the only adult there. It reduces your ability to full focus on your work.

But there are zillions of thread at the moment about people wanting their team back in the office so they can "bounce ideas off each other" - or, put another way - interrupt their colleagues. There are loads of threads where people say they don't want to work in the office ^because of the constant interruptions. You can't seriously be claiming that people are never interrupted when in the office? Or that they have to be available every second of their working day when wfh? I missed a Teams call from my Manager on Thursday, because I had gone to the toilet. She didn't threaten me with dismissal, she just called me back a few minutes later. Because, you know, she realises that there might be the odd few minutes when any one of us isn't sitting starting at our screens during an 8 hours shift. It doesn't matter if that is my colleague who has a problem with her joints and has to get up and do a lap of the house every 40mins or so, or if it is me making a cuppa, or another colleague answering something one of her dc has asked - everyone will have a minute or two during the day when they leave their desk. That is if they are in the office or at home.

JustLyra · 03/04/2022 23:42

@maybloss2

Schools have a legal responsibility to make sure children are picked up by a responsible adult, but I’m not sure until what age. Being independent at home for an hour a day is good for a child - they need to understand that adults have adult things to do sometimes and it teaches them to be confident in their own company, learning to get a snack is a life skill. Also you say it’s only for two days a week…

There’s no legal age. At all.

Schools put in blanket rules and hope that parents won’t challenge them.

It is (and should be) a decision made based solely on the ability of the individual child and where they live. The walk to or from school is the key.

Arbitrary rules are just easier. Even when they are stupid - such as when my DS wasn’t allowed to walk home alone for safety, even though the children going to get the school bus walk (unsupervised) past our front door to the turning circle/pick up point - it’s just easier for the school to have a blanket rule.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 04/04/2022 00:04

I was hit by a bike on a zebra crossing age 8/9. Not seriously hurt but very shaken and I had to carry on walking to school and wasn't able to speak up and explain what had happened and why I was late. I still remember it so clearly.
They could of course walk themselves and be perfectly safe but should they?
I would never let a 7 year old navigate two road crossings on their own or with a 9 year old. How awful for the 9 year old if something happened.
If its only 10 minutes walk each way once a week between the two of you - there must be a way you and your DP could juggle it.

cherish123 · 04/04/2022 13:59

They will be absolutely fine at home.
Walking home - depends on the distance. You may need to contact the school to say you are happy for 7yr old to walk home.

luluw41 · 04/04/2022 18:14

I work in a school and we wouldn’t release a 7 yr old to the care of a 9 yr old sibling. They’d need to be maybe probably 12 at least depending on the maturity of the child. If you could pick them up and they entertain themselves in your care that could work.

Amymegandbethandjo · 04/04/2022 18:23

It isn’t your decision though @luluw41

Mepop · 04/04/2022 21:24

I think it might depend on your school. At my local primary teachers literally go into the playground and only release kids to known adults until they are in Y3. Parents have to email the teachers to say if another parent is picking up the child otherwise they would not let them leave. I do not think they would let a 9 year old at the same school pick up. But perhaps your school has different rules? Ours is a inner city school with lots of busy roads etc so it is not safe for younger kids to walk home alone.

Wondergirl100 · 04/04/2022 21:34

Doesn't this depend on whether you mind them watching tv for 3 hours? I have tried this but found the constant screens stressful

Kite22 · 04/04/2022 22:45

@Wondergirl100

Doesn't this depend on whether you mind them watching tv for 3 hours? I have tried this but found the constant screens stressful

There are presumably other things to do in the house? (or garden)

Wondergirl100 · 05/04/2022 06:47

yes but it is the getting them to do other things that tends to require adult involvement! IF I was not working and picked my kids up - they might have friends over or we would go to the park - Im sure there are some sweetly behaved children who will sit from 330 til 6 doing puzzles or reading - but unfortunatly mine aren't that great at entertaining themselves. If they went together into the garden (which they do) they will without fail end up fighting about who is pushing who on the trampoline! And at 9 and 7 that will need adult intervention

I am freelance but sometimes overcome this by having friends over for the children which means they are happier and play better - I get to do bits of work/ etc but Im not being monitored by a boss so it's not the same as a real WFH /stuck at a monitor situation.

I think the lack of cheap / affordable and well run after school care is so depressing - I have tried for years to find it! Our school ASC is heavily oversubscribed.

The government could kill a few birds with one stone by heavily funding (as a post covid recovery) good after school clubs run as not for profits in schools/ church halls - boosting the ones that already exist.

Children get to play with their friends and exercise by running about playing football etc - parents dont have to always arrange something after 3pm or stick them in front of screens.

Sadly - 20 years ago kids might have gone home and then straight out onto their own street to play with all their mates but various cultural changes/ the rise of car ownership/two working parents have drastically altered that.

luluw41 · 14/04/2022 05:50

All schools would have their own policies and views of course. Like it or not for all schools, safeguarding is their top priority and this may well raise concern. Even if school allowed the younger child to be collected by the older sibling, would a 9 year old, however mature be capable of coping if they ran into danger? Is it even fair to place that kind of responsibility on a 9 year old? After school club would likely be the choice of many in this situation.

missfliss · 14/04/2022 06:17

There is a problem in this country with after-school care. My son is 11 now and is fine to occupy himself afterschool whilst I WFH. Husband is a teacher so thankfully most holidays are covered.

Pre pandemic we had a combination of childminder then afterschool club. When he moved from mainstream to his SEND school ( no AS clubs and too far for minders) we had to pay for a private afterschool nanny. Cost aside it was a logistical nightmare finding suitable people who wanted those hours