To think kids can come home after school when we’re WFH?

[Sleepdeprived42long]

My two DC (age 9 and 7) both go to grandparents after school twice a week but it’s getting quite a lot for GPs as they also have my nieces. Eldest is now able to walk home by himself (10 min walk). DH and I WFH both days. Our jobs are very full on and we couldn’t supervise them after school but DCs could watch TV etc and obvs if there was an emergency we’d be there. At what age do you think it’s ok to start letting them walk home and entertain themselves for a couple of hours till we finish work?

My husband did this all last year as there was no ASC - kids in yr 3 and yr 5, although yr 3 child is very sensible and independent for his age and tends to be the one sorting his older brother out.

He had to go and get them from school (we have to drive for school run, unfortunately) but then they just entertained themselves until I got home around 5/5.30. It involved a fair bit of screen time, inevitably, but it was the only real option and it worked for us. They would do their homework first and were encouraged to read some of the time!

@ISmellBurnings

Ours aren’t allowed to walk home alone until year 6. There’s no way I would let my 7 year old walk home, school wouldn’t release him anyway.

Unless it was a dangerous enough decision to merit SS intervention the school would have no choice.

Schools cannot refuse to release a child with parental permission to walk home. They just rely on parents believing they can.

In 20 years working in multiple schools there was only once that a school stuck to their guns and SS intervened. Every other time they relented to a permission slip as they know it’s parental choice.

@Dishwashersaurous

The issue is not them being at home.

It is having to go and get them. Which is half an hour in the most meeting heavy part of the day often.

Most schools wouldn't let a age 7 leave school by themselves. Thus an adult needs to collect them

This.

Plus this : Based on the number of similar aged kids constantly interrupting Teams calls I’m on I would say that is too young

The novelty of smiling benignly when some child pops up on a Teams mtg (even an informal one…) or having a cat displayed with mock self deprecating humour as it walks in front of the screen etc wears thin pretty quickly.

I think it perfectly reasonable for employers to demand a professional working environment from people who WFH.

OP, mine would have been ok to walk home from school together at that age, it was round the corner, and plenty of familiar parents and kids walking the same route. However 2 hours with no loud bickering or even a full on ruckus: not likely. So I wouldn’t do it if you have to be in meetings or on calls.

[quote Wheelz46]@DazzlePaintedBattlePants you are obviously aware of colleagues doing the school run at 3pm so why try to arrange a meeting at that time? There would be no 'squawking' if you did a time to suit all.

Anyone picking children up at where I work, take either less lunch or use their break, they pop it into their calendar so it shows busy so you don't have anyone moaning that they are showing available![/quote]
Maybe because 3pm is a normal time for a meeting? Maybe because I have meeting scheduled afterwards?

DH often has calls with the US at 4pm/4.30pm and needs to sort things out beforehand, that means talking to people/have calls or meetings between 1-3pm.

I have to finish certain figures by 3pm, that may include talking to people knowing if their side is done and can be included or if I need to run the report twice.

My team head has his toddler at home in the afternoon, I do hear her on a regular basis and he already said he can't wait to go back to the office on the days she is at home fully instead of nursery as it is distracting. And they don't have a house big enough for an office space.

I love the possiblity to be flexible but I sometimes think that there is a stop when family friendly flexibility is causing more problems than it's worth it.

@Wheelz46 3pm is a perfectly normal time for a meeting if I’m paying them to work 9-5. And they may be happy to work over lunch but if I want to schedule a meeting then to accommodate their sloping off at 3pm then that means everyone else has to work over lunch too.

4pm is also an acceptable time for a meeting but that’s also difficult if people want to have short lunches and finish early to pick up kids.

@Wnkingawalrus

I really would not want mine stuck on a screen for 2 hours

This is the crux of the issue for me too. Occasionally I would be ok with, but 5 days a week?

Can they be trusted to just get on with homework? Although that can’t take that long at those ages.

But that's down to parenting choices and styles isn't it?

I wfh, and so in school holidays my child may well be here too. They play with their toys, in the garden, may watch a film, have time limits for electronics as is our norm. But not everyone has limits....

At the end of the day you are being paid to work, your employer has a reasonable expectation you will work fully for the hours you are paid. Looking after your children in the holidays or after school is not work. You wouldn't see kids showing up at their parents office from 3-5pm so the same standard should be expected at home. It's this sort of stuff that puts a lot of employers off the idea of allowing home working, and rightly so. A toddler absolutely should not be being cared for during working hours outside of pandemic conditions

The novelty of smiling benignly when some child pops up on a Teams mtg (even an informal one…) or having a cat displayed with mock self deprecating humour as it walks in front of the screen etc wears thin pretty quickly.

Wait, it is unprofessional to have a pet? I work with so many professionals and have never come across that before! It's a normal thing! No, employers can't reasonably expect a professional standard office in your home, that is mad.

Op, my dc come home after school at age 9 and 10, get a snack and occupy themselves. I am senior in my field, as is dp, and this is a normal thing amongst our colleagues and ourselves.

Wait, it is unprofessional to have a pet? I work with so many professionals and have never come across that before! It's a normal thing! No, employers can't reasonably expect a professional standard office in your home, that is mad.

Of course it isn't unprofessional to HAVE a pet - but it is unprofessional to let it walk all over your keyboard during an online meeting, or interrupt the meeting expecting everyone to coo over it. I had this happen while interviewing someone! (their cat, not mine...).

Staff meetings where we all have stuff to get through but spend ages saying 'hello' to little Dominic...and then Evie from another household wants a turn, so why not let Fraser show off his Tae Kwando moves...

Now that offices are open again, and where WFH and home educating are a choice, why on earth should an employer expect anything less than a full professional presentation? And some people work with highly confidential material or material that needs to be kept secure or very sensitive conversations. Or dealing with clients or other consultants whose time is a lot of money.

WFH is in general a privilege or perk - there is the tax break for using your space, time and money saved on commuting.

Most people do manage their workload professionally and productively. But the OP needs to be sure that she and her DH can continue this with young children at home.

It all depends on the nature of the job, and the nature of the kids, I guess.

Now that offices are open again, and where WFH and home educating are a choice, why on earth should an employer expect anything less than a full professional presentation?

Lots of employers have either closed offices and moved to wfh to save on overheads, or have opted for hybrid office/ home working contracts. Thankfully my employer recognises that wfh comes with occasional distractions and focuses instead on the quality of the work output.

@DazzlePaintedBattlePants of course a meeting can be scheduled at anytime but with WFH now a major player, it should be down to the employer to lay out their expectations to the employees WFH.

Obviously this works both ways, an employee should speak to their Manager regarding the flexibility of school pick up. What works for one company does not necessarily work for another.

I do think it would be unreasonable of an employer to advise an employee that they are required in a meeting at last minute if prior arrangements had allowed the employee to do school pick up. Of course it could be written into WFH expectations that last minute meetings may be required then it's upto the employee if they wish to take the risk.

Would school allow your youngest to walk home without an adult? My school won't allow my Y4 (8/9 years old) to walk to the main gate my themselves. I've recently stopped after school childcare for my youngest as they are fine at home with me working (usually on a screen). I split my lunch break into two half hour breaks.

There's no way as a company we would be able to allow a situation where there could be no meetings at 3 pm
There's flexibility and there is pushing your luck

@sunshineandshowers40

Would school allow your youngest to walk home without an adult? My school won't allow my Y4 (8/9 years old) to walk to the main gate my themselves. I've recently stopped after school childcare for my youngest as they are fine at home with me working (usually on a screen). I split my lunch break into two half hour breaks.

You do realise that the school have no authority to do that, right?

They can ask parents to collect. And they can speak to SS if the genuinely think the child would be at risk, but walking to and from school alone is a parental decision.

Actually the more I think about this the more I wouldn’t be happy with my kids being left to fend for themselves for a couple of hours a day, all week. One or two days maybe, and occasionally for emergencies. But I think at that age they still need some help to occupy themselves in a way that isn’t just screens.

Three years ago there is no way so many people would have thought this was ok. I know the world has moved on in many ways, but it seems the only question is always is it possible, not is it in the best interests of the kids.

I'd absolutely do this, the supervision, not so much then walking home alone.

Can you and OH take a lunch break at the end of the school day in order to pick them up, or could the grand parents drop them off to you?

I WFH and take my lunch break at school pick up. I rarely take my full lunch break, but take 1/2 hour to do the school run, make an after school snack and talk to them about their day.

I'm lucky in that I pretty much have full control of my diary, so I tend to use the time that the children come from from school for admin tasks, so I can work around any interruptions.

I think it's manageable between you and DH. I've told my children that I have to work and if if they can't learn to behave, they will have to go to the after school club or childminders, so this has made them behave!!!

@FawnFrenchieMum

I’d be happy to have them in the house at that age while I worked but I wouldn’t like the idea of them walking home (well the youngest anyway), could the GP pick up from school and drop them at yours, or any friends that could?

⬆️ Sensible compromise- grandparents collect & drop home then you spend a short time settling them in & can go back to your work while they watch telly, play, snack, etc. You're right there if they need you. You should allow for a few brief 'check-ins' though- you can't really expect kids that young to be completely unsupervised for several hours.

Are your employers that unreasonable that occasionally having to walk away and talk to your children between 3.30 and 5 would not be OK? It's not even every weekday.

If I was in your situation and had employers with that lack of understanding, I'd be thinking about moving job.

I walked to junior school from age of 7 nominally with my older brother but largely by my self. It was a 15 minute quiet route with lollipop man on busy road by the school. Most children did likewise.
Culturally now more people seem horrified if you let someone under 9 or 10 do it.
If my children had been taught ok road sense I would do it I reckon.

Been having conversations with my team about this recently as we are phasing back to work. I’d be ok with after school at 7+ with no concerns. Not pre school though.

A lot depends on employee to… some are a lot more conscientious hard working and trustworthy than others

My almost 11 year old is going to walk home and come in and entertain herself on my wfh days after easter. Keeping the 6 year old at childminder as she needs me a lot more and also wouldn't be able to walk home alone.

January of year 6. So they get used to waking alone/with friends and getting themselves home and settled before year 7

I would have thought it would be fine for a 7 year old to walk home with a 9 year old into the care of their parents. If not then at what age are they allowed to walk home with an older sibling? Certainly by high school so 11 maybe? I would have thought that a responsible 9 year old is fine to help their sibling on the walk.

Not allowed at my school or the ones local to here. The oldest child has to be in secondary school to be allowed to collect a younger child in infants, and only with a signed letter from parents saying the name of the sibling/older child who will collect and on which days. Some say 13y to collect younger child.

Our school won’t let any kids walk home unless year 5 and above. Regardless of how close you live.
I sometimes pick up and log back on but my job is extremely full on so I block 3-4pm out my diary and make up the hour. Often it’s 4.30pm by the time I’ve made a decent snack and settled DD(8). Using after school clubs to 4.15 is more palatable as pick up is quicker (parking easier at Later time ) . I make sure I don’t have meetings in the time after school pick up or I arrange childcare.

Long as you can fetch the 7yr old fine otherwise no. But to actually being in the house that's fine you are there