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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think kids can come home after school when we’re WFH?

150 replies

Sleepdeprived42long · 01/04/2022 22:21

My two DC (age 9 and 7) both go to grandparents after school twice a week but it’s getting quite a lot for GPs as they also have my nieces. Eldest is now able to walk home by himself (10 min walk). DH and I WFH both days. Our jobs are very full on and we couldn’t supervise them after school but DCs could watch TV etc and obvs if there was an emergency we’d be there. At what age do you think it’s ok to start letting them walk home and entertain themselves for a couple of hours till we finish work?

OP posts:
ISmellBurnings · 02/04/2022 06:47

Ours aren’t allowed to walk home alone until year 6. There’s no way I would let my 7 year old walk home, school wouldn’t release him anyway.

Bluebirdofparadise · 02/04/2022 06:50

I would think they’d be fine watching some TV until you’ve finished. I wouldn’t want them walking home alone, though.

Flibbertyjibberty · 02/04/2022 06:55

I do this and it's no problem - I nip out to get them at 3pm then they play till about half four, when the tv goes on for an hour. Works just fine! If I have a later meeting the tv goes on a bit earlier

LunaAndHerMoonDragons · 02/04/2022 06:55

@Doveyouknow

I suppose it depends on how easy they find it to occupy themselves without you (and without getting into trouble). If the grandparents are finding them a bit much it suggests they do need a fair amount of supervision so it might not work
Good point. Is it the grandparents not having the time and energy for it or the DC needing a lot of supervision and constant input. How do they interact with each other? Even with screens my DC are pretty much guaranteed to have a loud argument anytime I'm on an important call so it would be impossible to work with them around.
Einsteinsong · 02/04/2022 07:17

I have teens who are fine to look after themselves but we live rurally and the bus is expensive (not our closest school) so I take 30 mins at pick up time. I either start early (dh takes dc to school) or finish later- I like to walk dog at lunchtime. It’s pretty common in my workplace and nobody minds at all

Nelliephant1 · 02/04/2022 07:19

I don't understand why you and your husband can't alternate at taking half an hour off and going to collect them. Your children and their safety come first and I'm sure you could make up the time at either end of the day v

Wolfcub · 02/04/2022 07:21

Sorry op, I work from home regularly and you're there to work not for childcare. Our employer is clear that the care of pets and children is not to be undertaken in work time. Even if they glued themselves to a tablet or Xbox they are still likely to interrupt you coming in the house, wanting snacks, falling out etc.

Lazypuppy · 02/04/2022 07:22

I pick my 4yo up from pre school on my lunch break 1 day a week and she sits and watches a film for 90mins until my dh gets home.

OP for those ages i wouldn't even think twice, only youngest you would need to go and collect

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 02/04/2022 07:25

I take my 30min break at 3pm to collect my dc (same age as yours) and they entertain themselves at home while I log back onto work.

Christmas1988 · 02/04/2022 07:27

Could the grandparents pick them up but drop them straight home instead of going to their home?

LadyMacduff · 02/04/2022 07:28

My DH also collects our young children at 3. He always has a handover teams meeting at 4, so they get snacks and Netflix in the playroom while he does the meeting with his headphones on. He can see them from the kitchen table. It's a routine now and it works well.

LadyMacduff · 02/04/2022 07:30

@Wolfcub

Sorry op, I work from home regularly and you're there to work not for childcare. Our employer is clear that the care of pets and children is not to be undertaken in work time. Even if they glued themselves to a tablet or Xbox they are still likely to interrupt you coming in the house, wanting snacks, falling out etc.
Your employer insists you can't have a pet in the house when you're working?
reluctantbrit · 02/04/2022 07:32

During lockdown/office closed and childcare not available - yes, we could do it .

Now with everything back to normal, the usual arrangements apply for us and that means, we can't have our children under secondary school age at home when we are working unless it is an absolute emergency (school closure on the day/childcare not available without warning) and the child is at least 8.

Reason - you can't concentrate on work and check on your child and the child is not supposed to be unsupervised for hours without being able to talk to you. Depending on your acutal job, the time between 2-4 is actually one some of us struggle to make a drink or go to the toilet, a school run is totally out of question.

Sounds harsh but that's the contract we all signed.

SafelySoftly · 02/04/2022 07:36

Absolutely not ok for the kids to walk home. A 7 year old!!!! I’d be reporting a school if they let them leave without an adult. Perhaps you pay for after school club like the rest of us? And generally I’d not be happy if I was your employer. Several hours of tablet a week so you can work is not great for the kids is it really?

raspberryjamchicken · 02/04/2022 07:38

@TheHoptimist

What does your work say? I used to wfh pre covid for a large national company. We were not allowed to have children under 12 at home unsupervised by another adult whilst working (ie you could have a nanny at home). We were not insured and we had to sign an annual contract to say no children at home

DH had similar- Uk bank
One friends said no under 15

No under 15s? My DC has been coming home alone to an empty house since 11 and supervising themselves but they wouldn't let you work from home with an unsupervised 15 year old? That's insane.
Whoopsies · 02/04/2022 07:42

My eldest is 8 and he gets his time on his switch from getting home at 3 30 until tea about 5/5 30. I do not see him this entire time, it's like he doesn't exist! I could definitely be wfh with him doing that!

HardyBuckette · 02/04/2022 07:43

@BritWifeInUSA

I have been permanently home-based for many years, long before COVID. And we also are not to have anyone under 12 in the house during our work hours unless another adult is with them. During COVID this was relaxed as the office had to close and schools were closed so people had no choice. But now we are back to the original requirements and if you want to work from home you have to sign an agreement that there will be no children under 12 unsupervised.
That sounds very strict. I was home based too, but never had anything like that. Even the one that was strictest simply checked before I started working for them that I'd have childcare in place, and they only knew I had DC because the boss was an old colleague from another role who'd heard on the grapevine.

Honestly I wouldn't choose to work for an employer who presumed to tell me whether my 11 year old could be quietly watching TV by themselves or perhaps in the company of a teenage babysitter in another room, in my own home.

Namechanger0800 · 02/04/2022 07:44

i've always worked from home for years pre covid and always been fine for a school aged child to come home. Do a working lunch but have proper break at school pick up - pick up and sort them out with homework or tv/ other activity and crack on. They learn quickly it's work time and not to disturb. All my colleagues have always done the same and no one blinks twice at school run breaks - we have an incredibly low staff turnover and i suspect it's this flexibility that drives that

Wnkingawalrus · 02/04/2022 07:45

Based on the number of similar aged kids constantly interrupting Teams calls I’m on I would say that is too young.

Why don’t you try it for a week after the holidays and see how it goes.

Wheelz46 · 02/04/2022 07:46

I have similar age children and there is no way I would allow my youngest to walk home with his elder brother, maturity is irrelevant to me!

If you are WFH just reduce your lunch break to pick them up. Most companies seem more than flexible with this now.

Besides, my children's primary school expect all children up to and including year 4 children to be picked up by an adult but can be someone of age 16+ with written consent from the parent or guardian!

user1487194234 · 02/04/2022 07:47

I really would not want mine stuck on a screen for 2 hours

toptomatoes · 02/04/2022 07:48

I use my lunch break time to collect my 9 year old then she entertains herself until someone else comes home or I finish. Work are aware and lots of other people do the same. In summer term year 5 she’ll be allowed to walk home so I’ll see how she is then.

PegasusReturns · 02/04/2022 07:49

Who on earth are these companies insisting you can’t have teens or pets unaccompanied whilst WFH?! Absurd.

I’d be ok with DC occupying themselves, less so with them walking home alone.

CantChatNow · 02/04/2022 07:50

Have you not just spent several lockdowns wfh with them around? Surely you have a sense of if they can entertain themselves or not?
My DH does this 3 days a week with our kids (I work outside of the home) and it works fine. He does have to nip out for pickup though.

ChoiceMummy · 02/04/2022 07:50

[quote Sleepdeprived42long]@gemloving yes I’m thinking that might be the way to do it. I’m not sure I trust my youngest to walk home without an adult yet. There are two roads to cross but there is a safe route with crossings. I have a feeling a lot of my colleagues are doing this but nobody seems to be feeling confident about being open that this is what they are doing![/quote]
Probably because policies and contracts have been updated to say its not acceptable!

But, imo, there's a huge difference between older children being at home when wfh than babies/young children.

My child from 4yoa has always been here when I wfh outside of school hours and never been an issue as I've always set appropriately boundaries and taught them about the acceptable behaviours etc when on calls.

I'd alternate your lunch breaks with your oh to collect from school.

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