Sexual assault was commonplace in 90's?

[L0stinCyberspace]

Just pondering the (seeming) change in attitudes for young women in their 20's, now vs. the 90s, it hit me just how very normalised sexual assault, assault and sexual harassment was back then.

Walking down the street I'd be heckled from cars, building sites, buses. It all became normal and expected (dreaded).

A lad threw a full sandwich in tinfoil at my face with force from an upstairs bus window while shouting at me, a 12 year old threw ball-bearings at me when I was cycling down the road, a man punched me full force in the chest when I cycled by him one morning. A group of 10 trainee doctors told me to strip when I was in hospital, pulled the blinds and measured my breasts, while giggling, and I was too scared to complain. A man put his hand under me before I sat down on a packed bus one day, men groped and grabbed me when I was at gigs and clubs even when with boyfriends or friends, sleazy bosses tried it on, men tried to push clear boundaries. A man tried to break into my flat when I lived alone and I was advised to move immediately by police as they knew him.

Have things improved for young women now?

I know they have for me but that's my age to a great extent. Last year I was very upset to be heckled in a sexually abusive manner by 4 young men in a car as I walked with my teen in the daytime, but that was an unusual occurance. I really hope awareness is better now and there are less assaults. Are there?

Hi OP. I’m mid twenties so hopefully I can give some perspective from the last few years (aside from the pandemic years where I didn’t go out). I definitely think attitudes have changed. Mostly the attitudes of ‘victim blaming’ are gone. People are far less likely to brush off someone groping in bar/ club, and if anyone feels uncomfortable the bouncers are quick to sort it normally. I think heckling has started happening less in the last five years, but again I’m not sure how much of this is because I don’t look 15 (ew) or how much is just women telling men to fuck off.

Online harassment is prevalent. As a teen when I had social media accounts men would send me pictures of their penises. At 12/13 we used to go into chat rooms like Omegle normally hoping for conversation with other teenagers at sleepovers and men would be wanking in them. Obviously we skipped them quick, but I was the only teen to hide my face. I don’t want to know what the men do with the images. Not sure how much of that is just lack of parental supervision, or how much is lack of awareness about the dangers of such chat rooms.

Being part of pretty much the first generation to have social media where we weren’t anonymous anymore was a little odd. Our parents were mostly too old to understand the dangers. My parents tried, but I was exposed to a lot of things that didn’t directly endanger me, but did mess with my head in my late teens. It sounds like parents now have used social media so know how much is effects your life.

All this to say, yes attitudes are changing but weird creeps are still weird creeps. They just get away with it less irl.

I was a teenager in the 80’s
South of England

Definitely a public transport risk

Shouted / heckled by men when standing at bus stops
Flashed twice on buses
Flashed on a tube

Flashed by a woman when walking along the south bank once but I think she was mentally h well don’t usually count that one !!

Posters on here saying they dont take any crap from men and it hasnt affected them ,are missing the point.Its all too random , I am in my 50s and remember vividly ,incidents such as being goosed while bending over in my Saturday job and feeling shocked and embarrassed. Random men hooting ,even suggesting I wear a bikini when coming to do work on our house. You can be walking along in your own world ,and suddenly have to come face to face with this shit! It literally startles you and is difficult to think of any comeback at that point .

@CoastalWave

I don't think it was 'common' at all. Sounds awful but doesn't sound anything like my youth (80's/90's)

The only thing that happened to me which at the time I just laughed off was a guy exposing my breasts in a club on holiday. I guess I could have been offended/humiliated etc but sometimes I think you can choose how you're going to be affected and i just chose to slap the guy and laugh it off. Certainly didn't leave any lasting confidence issues or anything. In fact, it's only because i'm commenting that I've even brought it up as I was struggling to think had something ever happened to me.

Omg 😱 laugh it off - Genius !!!

I’ll tell my teenage DD if some guy exposes your breasts in a public place just laugh it off - you’ve got choices about how you take it !! Cool eh ??!!

Sorry - forgot, slap and laugh it off !!!
It’s the best defence for sexual assault,
Think of it like … the bend and snap 🤣🤣

I remember the catcalling, men groping my backside in clubs, boys at school twanging my bra and lots of men in white vans stopping at bus stops to chat me up, often when I was in my school uniform. This isn’t anywhere near ad bad as what some on this thread have experienced but I was a very quiet and unconfident girl and not equipped to deal with any of it. Plus you did blame yourself as that was how society was back then.

I like to think that things are slightly better now but I can’t help but worry for my dd.

@CoastalWave that shouldn’t have happened to you, and I’m sorry it did. That guy was a dick.

Disgusting and yes was so common still happens to me today women following me with their cars asking for my Snapchat after I say I’m married/pregnant/18

Not women men I mean

Yes, very much so. Was harassed and worse from my early teens until my mid twenties. Just felt like part of life, like small animals needing to avoid and escape from predators in the wild. It’s fucked up and makes me hate men if I think too much about it.

Yes it was. And the 80s

Yeah, absolutely sounds like my teenage years in the early 90s. Looking back now I was assaulted on a regular basis, groomed by older men in my village, and sexually abused by my 28 year old manager when I was 17.
It's utterly grim.

The boys mothers would be devastated if they knew their sons groped girls at school!

The obsurdity of the 70's 80's 90's and early 2000's was that the parents didn't seem to give a crap. As long as they got their lives back cos they'd worked soooo hard n missed the pub. My parents knew I was going the pubs from 11, they gave me the money to go. As long as I caused less mither for them than my sister did then everything was fine. So like most gen x I behaved how I thought grown ups did from a preteen onwards. I drank did drugs I hung out with men as old as my dad. Even my parents met them. Not once did they stop it or question it..... If my daughter came home aged 14 with a 28 year old man, you best believe he would be leaving missing an appendage at the least! But nope. No questions asked allowed it to happen, and the entire time I just wanted someone to grab me n shake me n say stop this we care about you, we won't allow this to go on. But I got radio silence n called a slag when I came home pregnant at 16.