I live with DP, we have 4 children between us, 2 each. DSC are with us 50% of the time. I WFH permanently but regularly go out to meetings - sometimes I can be out at meetings 5 days a week. I do the school runs either side of the day and will move meetings around to ensure I can do this daily. DP works full time and his shift pattern doesn’t allow for him to do school runs.
Now my issue is with DPs ex-wife. It has started small at first and this is the smallest issue - she is supposed to collect DSC from school once a month on a day when she is not actually working - thats it - and on each occasion has made an excuse as to why she can’t do it so obviously I have had to drop everything and collect. Her impression is that I’m just at home.
Huge issue - it has now transpired that her intention is for me (and DP where his job would allow) to cover ALL school holidays in the academic year with full day childcare for DSC. I have no issues covering the days that DP would normally have them and can manage my diary to allow it but for it to be all the days that she is supposed to cover their care it just feels like she is being a bit cheeky.
Last year DP was out of work and therefore she did use him daily for childcare during holidays.
It’s obvious that she had no intention of covering school holidays at all by her using most of her A/L already on 2 holidays this year already with her new partner. Her intention is to use the remainder of her A/L at Christmas. Im absolutely astounded that she has made absolutely no plans at all for her covering any of the school holidays with her own A/L.
Easter school holiday so far I have 2 meetings booked and my own DC will be going to their dads on these days. DP has just started a new contract and can’t take any time off.
I’m just at a bit of a loss. It’s a really difficult conversation to have with DP as obviously I love having DSC here but working full time and having meetings to go to also it is quite difficult for me to keep my boss happy with my diary being blocked out, to keep 4 children entertained and fed and I’m starting to now worry about the 6 week summer holidays. Due to it being that I will solely be responsible for DSC during holidays I will therefore need to manage my own A/L to cover days that she would have them as I won’t be able to go to meetings. Currently DP can’t book A/L at his new job as likelihood is he will be on a different contract then and as said previously, I can manage to cover the days he would normally have them.
So here’s the question - AIBU to expect that she shouldn’t have used all her A/L on holidays with her partner as opposed to ensuring her own childcare responsibilities are covered? And therefore AIBU to expect that DP will ensure this point is put across? He simply refuses to see my point that care during the holidays is a joint responsibility for her too.
I know there’s little I can do about it all as it stands and will inevitably have to just suck it up for this year!