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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is NOT unreasonable

75 replies

Lastqueenofscotland · 31/03/2022 15:51

A friend of mine has a little girl with some SEN/ASD including a lot of sensory issues.
She LOVES animals and my friend was keen for her to try riding at an RDA centre, I’m horsey and put her in touch with one with an excellent reputation.

As part of the SEN the little girl is quite particular about what she will wear especially on her head/face (hats/scarves etc are tricky) as such when they got to the RDA centre they couldnt get the little girl to wear a riding helmet.
As such she couldn’t ride.
My friend felt they should have let her ride as sensory issues are common and there must be an exception..
I can’t help but feel that no matter how well behaved the horse it’s a dangerous sport and ASD or not the little girls safety has to come first and if she won’t wear a hat she can’t ride.
Friend thinks this is not accommodating to her daughters needs?!
Trying to explain to her without her just using the discrimination argument back!

OP posts:
ItsYabbaDabbaDoTime · 31/03/2022 15:53

It will be a condition of their insurance that all riders must wear a hard hat.

Spudina · 31/03/2022 15:53

She’s an idiot. Hats are essential for safety. End of.

MarinoRoyale · 31/03/2022 15:54

I’d agree, it’s likely to be a requirement for their liability insurance.

Wouldntitbenicetobeinyourshoes · 31/03/2022 15:54

I imagine their insurance wouldn’t cover them if riders aren’t wearing hats.

Br1ll1ant · 31/03/2022 15:55

Surely safety has to be everyone’s top priority in that situation?

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 31/03/2022 15:56

You can’t be discrimatory for following health and safety policy and adhering to the business insurance policies, a business isn’t going to put their business or a individual life at risk by not taking these precautions in ensuring riders are safe.

Disability or not.

Onlyforcake · 31/03/2022 15:56

Its got to be REASONABLE adjustment. It is unreasonable to not use adequate safety measures. Perhaps the child will overcome this issue for the reward. Perhaps not. Unfortunately it is entirely correct of the riding school

Georgeskitchen · 31/03/2022 15:57

Its kind of glaringly obvious isn't it!! I live in a semi rural area with lots of horse riders of all ages I have NEVER seen one riding without a helmet!!

Turningpurple · 31/03/2022 15:57

My mum owned horse and ran a rising school, I grew up riding.

And helmets are a non negotiable. There's insurance and just generally being responsible.

I am shocked she took her dd knowing this would likely be an issue.

How would she be feeling if her dd fell and hit her head? Surely she would feel they had some responsibility in that?

cheesymarmite · 31/03/2022 15:58

Yeah she is bu. They will not be allowed to ride without a hat and it is dangerous anyway.

My SEN child also had this problem but we finally managed to get him to wear one after lots of sessions which is great because he really loves it but the helmet refusal was ruining it for him.

Knittedfairies · 31/03/2022 15:59

Your friend could contact RDA for advice. I would be surprised if she could ride without a helmet though.

MillenialInDenial · 31/03/2022 16:01

So she would rather risk her child fall from height possibly at speed with no helmet?
Her argument is redundant because health and safety practices come before and sensory issues I'm afraid.

Not only for insurance reasons on behalf of the riding company but mostly for the protection of riders.

thisplaceisweird · 31/03/2022 16:01

It's more important to protect from brain injuries than it is to provide nice experiences

SilenceOfThePrams · 31/03/2022 16:01

In this situation, the reasonable adjustment is to consider allowing h the child to work with the horses without riding them - grooming, polishing saddles, that sort of thing. Possibly facilitating her leading one of them on reins but from the ground. Maybe riding a trap rather than the horse itself.

It would be reasonable to allow the child contact with the horses without wearing a helmet. It would be unreasonable to allow her to ride when the risk is so high.

DDivaStar · 31/03/2022 16:11

It will be part of their insurance requirements i would imagine.

Thet could have allowed her interaction, grooming instead but you cant pick and choose which safety rules you follow.

kimbolita · 31/03/2022 16:14

It would probably invalidate their insurance if they let her ride with no hat.

No insurance = massive law suit if the child fell off and was injured.

Darklightening · 31/03/2022 16:15

My dds have autism and sensory needs. One rode with RDA was particular about helmets but would wear one. Youngest would not entertain the idea of a helmet and as such I won’t let her ride. It’s dangerous for her and for the company hosting her riding lesson. Places have to make reasonable adjustments but not wearing a helmet is not a reasonable adjustment. Maybe your friend could take her to some shops and find her a helmet she’d be comfortable in.

WibbleWobbleWibble · 31/03/2022 16:15

Reasonable adjustment for disability does not mean you don't have to comply with health and safety rules.

incognitoforthisone · 31/03/2022 16:31

Of course she can't ride without a helmet. They can't just ignore basic safety because a child has a sensory objection to wearing protective gear.

Maybe if the helmet requirement isn't something your friend's daughter can overcome, she could look into a different animal related activity for her - some community farms offer activities for children and adults with additional needs, for example, where she might be able to interact with the animals, groom them, feed them, stroke them and generally learn about their care and so on.

BoredZelda · 31/03/2022 16:32

Why are you getting involved with explaining anything? The people at RDA have explained, and that’s that.

EV117 · 31/03/2022 16:34

Reasonable adjustments for SEN or disabilities never ever trumps safety. You’re friend is being ridiculous and should know better to be honest. I can’t believe she’d happily put her own child at risk like that, never mind expect others to.

Barkingmadhouse · 31/03/2022 16:39

I suspect your friend doesn't realise just how dangerous a fall from a horse can be, maybe send her some inages/videos/stories of those who have had nasty incidents and state very bluntly that had these people not have been wearing hats they would be dead and that is why they must be worn. I've rode for 25 years and consider myself a decent rider yet I would never consider getting on without a helmet - it's even more crazy for a beginner, who is probably more likely to fall, to not wear one

RobotValkyrie · 31/03/2022 16:40

Your friend is ridiculous. She might as well complain that a blind person is not allowed to drive a car. It would be unsafe. Non-negotiable.

gamerchick · 31/03/2022 16:44

Your friend should have tried out the helmet long before she got anywhere near a horse. It's a 1+1 thing.

It's something to work on before giving it a other try. Wanting to put her bairn at risk for an easy life makes her a bit dim.

DrWhoNowww · 31/03/2022 16:46

@SilenceOfThePrams

In this situation, the reasonable adjustment is to consider allowing h the child to work with the horses without riding them - grooming, polishing saddles, that sort of thing. Possibly facilitating her leading one of them on reins but from the ground. Maybe riding a trap rather than the horse itself.

It would be reasonable to allow the child contact with the horses without wearing a helmet. It would be unreasonable to allow her to ride when the risk is so high.

For most riding stables I’ve come across (and by extension I’ll assume the RDA) you would be expected to wear a helmet whilst carrying out any activities round the horse - grooming, tacking up, leading and definitely riding in a trap.