To think this is NOT unreasonable

[Lastqueenofscotland]

A friend of mine has a little girl with some SEN/ASD including a lot of sensory issues.
She LOVES animals and my friend was keen for her to try riding at an RDA centre, I’m horsey and put her in touch with one with an excellent reputation.

As part of the SEN the little girl is quite particular about what she will wear especially on her head/face (hats/scarves etc are tricky) as such when they got to the RDA centre they couldnt get the little girl to wear a riding helmet.
As such she couldn’t ride.
My friend felt they should have let her ride as sensory issues are common and there must be an exception..
I can’t help but feel that no matter how well behaved the horse it’s a dangerous sport and ASD or not the little girls safety has to come first and if she won’t wear a hat she can’t ride.
Friend thinks this is not accommodating to her daughters needs?!
Trying to explain to her without her just using the discrimination argument back!

Same here @DrWhoNowww every year people on the ground and not wearing a helmet die as a result of being kicked in the head by a horse that they were near .

It’s the equivalent of a seatbelt in a car. Totally non negotiable - including for being in a trap. I’d insist on my kids wearing a helmet for leading a pony or grooming too.

As others have said, wearing a helmet is non-negotiable. You wouldn’t let a young child sit in a car without a car seat. I see this as the same thing. It’s for their own safety

Mums a stupid mare ( no pun intended)

YANBU , the mum is an idiot and who are the 3% who think she is right .

@Lastqueenofscotland ask her if "x couldn't wear a seatbelt would you drive with her without one?".

If she says yes, stay out of it, she's reckless and nothing you say will matter.

If she says no, remind her it's exactly the same with the helmet. It's for her daughter's own safety and protection, and lack of one could have devastating consequences.

I had horses for years and would have never rode without a helmet, didn’t even groom without one. I know someone who was killed from a kick to the head while grooming by the most ‘bombproof’ pony. As for riding without one, I would have died if I hadn’t had one when I had my accident, not worth it for the most experienced riders let alone inexperienced children in a riding school.

I was an RDA volunteer for some years. Hats, coats zipped up and safe boots were mandatory for insurance purposes.

Had her DD been allowed to ride without a hat and an accident happened I'm sure your friend would have been very understanding. Not.

Yanbu, your friend is. I understand she felt disappointed by the outcome but it’s safety first. No hat no horse.

Your friend is BU
My sen niece does surfing and must wear a wetsuit....my sister made her try them on, warned her it would be uncomfortable getting it on and it was and still is an issue every single time but she does it so she can surf.
Your friend should have tested out the helmets way before going near a horse.

@SilenceOfThePrams

In this situation, the reasonable adjustment is to consider allowing h the child to work with the horses without riding them - grooming, polishing saddles, that sort of thing. Possibly facilitating her leading one of them on reins but from the ground. Maybe riding a trap rather than the horse itself.

It would be reasonable to allow the child contact with the horses without wearing a helmet. It would be unreasonable to allow her to ride when the risk is so high.

If a client is around the horses, grooming or leading its likely that they will be required to wear a hat for that too. Horses do lash out and a kick in the head is nasty....again it'll be insurance. I am an adult and have had riding lessons at two stables. Both required helmet use around the horses even if we weren't riding. If you own a horse and keep it at livery then its different but the rule for us was helmet and suitable shoes or no lesson.

My daughter rides.

It is non-negotiable - she wears a hat

Every riding school, livery yard, competition or event she has ever been to - hats are compulsory when riding. Sometimes, a body protector too.

Even when she did pony days at a riding school - learning to groom/tack up/etc she had to wear a hat.

There are lots of different types of hats - perhaps she could take her daughter to a tack shop and see if there’s one she can tolerate.

If the daughter has sensory issues, why wasn’t the mother using strategies to desensitise her long before they got anywhere near the stables.

She can’t have been surprised that a riding hat was obligatory.

Surely it would be discriminatory to use inadequate health and safety measures for a child because of their SEN.

It is one of those non negotiables. My dd was the same initially. We borrowed a hat and practised wearing it for a few minutes at a time. We looked at pictures of people riding wearing hats and read a social story about a girl riding which included putting on the hat before getting on.

Apart from the safety aspects the riding school wouldn’t have had a choice for insurance and liability reasons

They also need to accommodate her daughter's need to not have a head injury!

Surely it'd invalidate the centre's insurance to let someone ride without a helmet. Is there a donkey sanctuary somewhere local who give rides? I know donkeys kick too but they might be slower and shorter?

I have an ASD child with sensory issues. We bend over backwards on so many things to make her more comfortable physically, but there are certain things that are non-negotiable, like helmets. It she can’t tolerate them, we can’t do the thing where it is required.

I have great sympathy. I have the same condition, it’s just life. It’s not fair, but not everything is discrimination.

If she wants to ride or even be around horses there the child will have to get over it and wear a hat. There is a SEN college near me that specialises in older youngsters, many autistic. They have to wear riding hats at all times around the horses, even poo picking in the field. It's absolutely not negotiable and I think it's BHS guidelines for all anyway.

So your friend wants them to risk her child's life?

Some things are non-negotiable, especially where safety is involved.

There has been a difficult incident in one of our local schools where a child with additional needs (as yet undiagnosed) has really hurt a member of staff-launched themselves at her from the other side of the room and has put her in hospital. The child received a short fixed-term exclusion but the parents are livid and saying there shouldn’t be any form of punishment, because the child has SEN. The teacher’s husband is furious (she is pregnant) and wants the child moved to a different class.

Lots of reasonable adjustments have been put in place for the child but despite having a 1:1 TA, attacks like this can still take place. Do reasonable adjustments trump safety? When you are above 18 if you physically assault someone, the police will arrest you, SEN or not. Laws need to be kept to.

Safety first. End of. YANBU.

I do feel for your friend. Her dd can't ride because her disabilities prevent her from wearing a hat and it's easier to say out loud "that rule is unfair" than it is to say "it's unfair my dd has a disability and can't do things other children can".

And what would she have said if her child had had a horrific accident?