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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is this an example of a flexible boss

54 replies

Ceci03 · 31/03/2022 09:21

So, I'm having problems with my manager. I won't bore you with all the details, I actually posted about it last week or the week before. Basically I was asking to leave at 4pm on days when the office was already covered until 5pm, as I had been coming in early to avail of free parking. I didn't think it was an unreasonable request, I'm not asking for anyone else's hours to be changed, and I will happily stay til 5pm if I'm the only person left that day - a lot go at 4pm.
So, at a meeting yesterday to discuss, I was asked if I thought manager was flexible in general, and I said no. I have so many examples I wont bore you with them. They asked my manager to give an example of a time she was flexible and she talked about once about 2.5 years ago, she allowed me to take a half day of leave to take delivery of some furniture. Just for background I moved country to start this job so at the beginning I did need to ask for that half day for the removal people to deliver my stuff. It was unavoidable, as they were supposed to come the week before, - before I started the job - but it was a mix up and they didnt come.

She had one other example when about 2 years ago I had asked to take annual leave to go to an appointment to get my NI number. You don't get to choose your appointment they just send you a time I gave boss notice, and took the half day out of my leave She said that showed she was flexible.
To me these are just 'normal' things?
One other thing she said was that when I was off with covid she covered my hours on campus. Surely that is out of my control and just her job? Managers have to cover staff absences if there's nobody else? I couldnt help being off, so I don't think it shows her flexibility.

Just interested what you all think.

OP posts:

Everydaydayisaschoolday · 31/03/2022 09:30

I used to work in a school with limited onsite parking so would regularly arrive very early to be sure of a space. It was entirely for my own convenience so I didn't expect to be allowed to leave early because of it so I think from that POV YABU.

Apart from I agree with you that she doesn't seem to be showing much flexibility with regard to working hours.

Is this a personality clash or maybe a difference of opinion about what the job requires? It doesn't sound to be a good working relationship.

Original poster

Ceci03 · 31/03/2022 09:40

I'm not really asking here about my request to leave at 4 - that's a separate thing really, and tbh I'm sorry I ever mentioned it as it has caused a huge upset and "investigation", which to my mind is totally OTT and now she is bringing in the Director to 'decide'.

I'm really asking about her examples of how she is flexible - her 2 examples.

OP posts:

altiara · 31/03/2022 09:47

Letting you take annual leave is not being flexible! You are entitled to take it.
Unless you requested it very late or something - my work has rules on how much notice you need to give so for 1 day, it’s really short notice but for a 2 week holiday it’s more.

Bellex · 31/03/2022 09:48

What are your core hours?

Prior to covid I started at 7 and left at 4, the company wasn’t flexible. Core hours were 10-3 so I was within my right to leave.

Using leave also isn’t flexible. What does it say in your contact for leave allowance?
Example one weeks notice for a day off etc.

I would say I’m a flexible manager. Happy to let staff attend appointments in the day if they make up the time. Pretty open to annual leave and happy to cover when needed. Also moved team meetings to the middle of the day to allow my core team to start and finish when they need. Any weekly one to ones I try to arrange around them and make it effective for my diary . Example team member a works 7-3 team member b does 9-6. Team a weekly one to one at 8 gives me better one on one time with them as team member b hasn’t started. Team member b one to one is at 3

Original poster

Ceci03 · 31/03/2022 09:50

@altiara that's what I thought too!!!!

And she brought up these 2 things from 2.5 years ago???

I mean if I'd asked for just time off to do these things, or if she offered me time off to be made up, that could be seen as flexible, but both times I requested annual leave in the official way, with notice - the removals people coming may have only been a couple of days notice, but the NI appointment came weeks in advance so I booked AL.

OP posts:

Indicatrice · 31/03/2022 09:51

YANBU, that is the very LEAST you should be able to expect. She is really scrapping the barrel for examples.

Original poster

Ceci03 · 31/03/2022 09:53

@Bellex Hi, we don't really work that way. My hours are 9am to 5pm but there is a flexible working policy which says local arrangments can be made outside of this with your manager.

It's more the examples she gave of her flexibility.
I mean, covering for me when I have covid - is that not why she gets paid more than me - she is responsible for staffing matters?

OP posts:

TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 31/03/2022 09:58

They are all terrible examples. She gets paid for covering for you when you had covid.

And granting annual leave does not show flexibility 😂

She sounds very frustrating!

MatildaTheCat · 31/03/2022 09:59

I remember you other thread. What I noticed was that she didn’t seem to be treating you in the same way as other colleagues. Obviously there may be reasons for that.

Her examples are pretty embarrassing to be honest. Can you give examples of her being flexible with other members of staff? In terms of the early start and finish times it would appear to make sense that these are rotated if a lot of people prefer the earlier option.

Rather than turn it into an assassination of her can you try to bring a positive spin of ‘bringing fairness to the whole team’?

Talipesmum · 31/03/2022 09:59

The fact she’s pulling up examples from over 2 years ago shows that being flexible isn’t a thing she does very often - and yes, those are “normal things” not super accommodating things (though I guess that depends on the industry)

Vapeyvapevape · 31/03/2022 10:02

Allowing someone to take annual leave is not flexible! If that's the best she can come up with then she's showing how inflexible she is.

Original poster

Ceci03 · 31/03/2022 10:03

Thanks I wish I had asked for nothing and said nothing the fuss she is making about it all. And the to my mind ridiculous excuses she is bringing up. And now these examples of flexibility.

But she is so sure of herself and calm and collected. She will get the better of me in any meeting. I burst out crying after the meeting yesterday - luckily I was at home so nobody saw me. I don't know people just dont seem to see through her she makes herself sound good

OP posts:

Whatiswrongwithmyknee · 31/03/2022 10:03

It is flexible if the AL was granted at short notice. In many lines of work you'd have to arrange cover and there would be some thinking involved in that. I don't think you can assume a right to leave early just because you choose/have to start early because of parking issues. I wonder how it would affect the rest of the team if you did?

Original poster

Ceci03 · 31/03/2022 10:15

@Whatiswrongwithmyknee

The AL was granted at short notice in one instance - I had moved country to take this job. There were going to be things I couldn't organise far in advance. At the time I was in a small office with one other person. It was not customer facing. I often did not see anyone for days. TBH nobody would know if we were there or not. Short notice AL did not affect anyone. I did not miss anything Nothing was planned that I had to miss. No meetings.

For the request to leave at 4, this affects nobody - I have said if I am the only person that day who usually stays until 5pm I am happy to stay and cover. I will only leave at 4 if there are other people there to cover.

Like on Monday I was there from 4-5, and so was my colleague. As we sat there, I felt it was unfair not to let me go at 4 as he was staying until 5.
Anyway, whatever, I don't even care about that any more. I think I'm going to withdraw the request as it has caused so much hassle.

I was more interested what you all think of her examples of flexibility.

OP posts:

worriedatthistime · 31/03/2022 10:18

They are poor examples but she doesn't have to be flexible just stick to your contract

worriedatthistime · 31/03/2022 10:19

But you are asking to change your hrs if your contract is 9-5 pm

Frenchie8690 · 31/03/2022 10:20

Why don't you submit a flexible working request to change your hours from 9-5 to 8-4? Wouldn't that solve the problem?

Original poster

Ceci03 · 31/03/2022 10:25

OK I'll explain - according to our Flexible Working Policy, managers have the discretion to agree to minor changes, for example different hours, etc. I only asked for this on a temporary basis, as the company still have free car parking - left over from covid. But this will only be available for a few months, when it is paid car parking again I will go back on public transport. Under the policy managers have the discretion to agree to "temporary ad hoc arrangements".

OP posts:

Original poster

Ceci03 · 31/03/2022 10:27

Plus the policy says that if you want to submit a flexible working request your manager must have agreed to it. So as she was not agreeable, there is no point in putting in a formal request as it goes directly back to her for her approval. I think then you can do an appeal. But that would all take months in any case by which time the free parking will be gone.

OP posts:

Ilovecharliecat · 31/03/2022 10:33

I can txt my manager to request annual leave on the morning of the day that i want to take off, that's a super flexible manager. There are only the two of us in the team and obviously that's if i have no meetings etc in my diary. If I need to take a few hours off for an appointment I just make up the time, luckily that's the nature of our job. I cover a huge area which sometimes requires travel, early starts and overnight stays, this again is part of the flexibility on my part.

From the examples you provide of your manager she is not flexible.

Constantlypanicking12 · 31/03/2022 10:46

She doesn't sound flexible at all! What industry do you work in if you don't mind me asking? You mentioned something about 'campus' so I was wondering whether it was in HE/FE. I hate micro-management and presenteeism. It needs to be left in the past. Unless you're strictly needed after 4, she should let you go then.

Original poster

Ceci03 · 31/03/2022 11:31

Yeah it's HE. She is the most preseteeism manager I've ever had in 20+ years.
I thought that wfh and covid would have softened her views, but no, she is worse than ever.

On my first day, one of the very first things she said to me was "if you're 5 minutes late in the morning you can take it out of your lunch time break". We get half an hour for lunch. Red flags went up even on day 1. I could write so many more. She notes down how long you take to go to the toilet or to the kitchen. and how long your lunch break is. Unfortunately I have been moved into the office with her so she is beside me now. I've never felt so judged and watched. with us moving to 3 days next week I'm dreading it so much. I've only been on the rota with her a few times so far but they have been horrible days. I'll be on with her a lot more now...

OP posts:

araiwa · 31/03/2022 11:35

She doesn't want or need you working 8-4. I think you need to move on

Original poster

Ceci03 · 31/03/2022 11:37

Yeah I'm actually waiting by the phone today about an interview I did on Tuesday. I thought I would have heard by now though so my hope is waning.

OP posts:

Original poster

Ceci03 · 31/03/2022 11:38

@araiwa

She doesn't want or need you working 8-4. I think you need to move on

agreed

OP posts:

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