Nusayba Umar - 16 month old killed by mother’s boyfriend

[babywalker56]

I am honestly getting sick to death of reading stories about parents and/or their partners being reasonable for a child’s death. I just simply don’t understand how this happens.

This woman met this man on a dating site 5 weeks before he killed her daughter. She had moved herself and her baby into his house to help him with his dog breeding business??? He also had a history of violence against his previous girlfriends and their children. In what world can you meet someone and within 5 weeks you move into their house?!

I feel so sad for this poor baby. Nusayba Umar lost her life but it even started.
Rest in perfect peace🌹

Here’s the link for anyone interested,
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-60927082

5 weeks?!

I wouldn’t even let them meet my child after 5 weeks.

That poor kid

The obvious potential for this man to cause her baby grave harm was presented and she covered for him. That 100% makes her culpable and she will have to live with that for the rest of her life.
I’m not saying she is a murderer but I would consider she is guilty of child neglect and child cruelty.

A very good point. I almost forgot he previously hurt her daughter and she knew about it. Honestly what a sad story. Poor baby

Such an utterly sad case. Today I read about this poor child Nusayba, and Kemarni Watson-Darby and Hakeem Hussain, three children failed by their parents. I just hope these children are now at peace.

I was in an abusive marriage for over 20 years. I’m educated to PhD level, had a well paid consultancy job. Did not know the name of, or how to contact the local Women’s Refuge. We are well trained by these arseholes!

As a parent you are a hundred percent responsible for the safety of your child. You can have low self esteem and be the victim of anything in the past but it doesn't negate your responsibility or duties to your child. I cannot understand how people can defend the women who choose to be with abusive men who harm their children. If your a single person and you decide you want to remain with an abusive partner...your choice but I have zero sympathy for women who allow their children to be killed by monsters. The mother is just as responsible as the man. Lock them up and rhrow away the key.

She also weighed just 17lbs when taken to hospital! How is that possible? That poor darling girl 😪

@LoganberryJam

The woman in this situation made some stupid decisions for sure. But it was not her who killed the baby. This man is 100% responsible for the baby's death.

I agree. Not matter what happens everyone always blames the woman. Even other women. The mums new partner was the one who killed the baby not the mum.

@burgerkingaddict

Women blame other women as the woman is at fault. I would hold a father equally responsible if his girlfriend battered his child to death. The parent regardless of sex has a duty to keep their child. Do you honestly not see how the parent has failed here? Should they not be responsible for neglect at the very least? It's astounding to me people can't see it. You are making into some sort of weird sexist issue when this isn't the case. Women should be held accountable when they fail to protect and safeguard their children. Same for men.

Awaits the 'but you can't expect us to stay single forever' crowd ...

I have no sympathy for the mother. She witnessed him abusing her child previously and continued living with him. She should have protected her, moving away from that monster.

@Lockheart no, having had a disfunctional upbringing has made me more careful of how I bring my children up, starting with whom I chose as their father and how I would support them (including housing) if things went wrong. We don't just have to repeat our parents' mistakes, we can learn from them.

* I have no sympathy for the mother. She witnessed him abusing her child previously and continued living with him. She should have protected her, moving away from that monster.*

^I agree. That poor child only weighed 17lbs!!!! The mother is certainly not innocent at all.

@lockheart if a child gets run over by a train because he was playing on the train track whilst his mother or father sat and watched him and they didn't remove him from this dangerous situation do you think they played a part in the child's death? Should they be held accountable? If yes how is this scenario different to a parent failing to protect their child from another dangerous situation such as being around an abusive and violent person?

Baby Eleanor Easey failed by the parents and killed by the father

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10668921/Farmer-convicted-killing-baby-daughter-suffered-31-fractures-three-brain-bleeds.html

@Lockheart

Good for you lot saying how you were in terrible situations but still never made bad choices. Give yourself a medal for having more resilience / better mental health / being more intelligent than this poor mother.

Not everyone is you, and if you can't understand how everyone's situation varies and how easy it can be to fall into the trap of thinking your child will have a stable home then you lack empathy.

'poor mother'

she let it happen,,,,,lied to cover it up....she should be behind bars with him!! women who send by and do nothing should be culpable

She need to be behind bars as well. My friend has still not let her now bloke meet her kids and it has been nine months.

I'm really struggling to find sympathy for the mum in this situation, I don't think someone having dysfunctional relationships, poor self esteem etc really hits the nail on the head with why this sort of thing happens but as has been pointed out some people find it builds resilience and others become more disordered and chaotic.

It's horrific on so many levels, 5 weeks into a relationship allowing a man into your life and giving him that much power that you become a bystander in his abuse of your child is just not something I can see how reasonably it happens. There is obviously a lot more to it but I think she's culpable in this situation. Yes he killed her poor daughter but equally she stood by, lied to cover it up and facilitated this situation in her silence and compliance.

It's horrific on so many levels, 5 weeks into a relationship allowing a man into your life and giving him that much power that you become a bystander in his abuse of your child is just not something I can see how reasonably it happens.

Yes exactly! This is what I mean. I do not see how this happens at all

@Lockheart

Good for you lot saying how you were in terrible situations but still never made bad choices. Give yourself a medal for having more resilience / better mental health / being more intelligent than this poor mother.

Not everyone is you, and if you can't understand how everyone's situation varies and how easy it can be to fall into the trap of thinking your child will have a stable home then you lack empathy.

You cannot absolve the mother of all responsibility.

@Gilead but did you move yourself and a young baby in with him after just 5 weeks? I just don't understand how he could possibly control her so much in just a few weeks that she not only moved in with him but stayed after he abused her baby.

@Lockheart I totally agree with you, people are quick to make judgements. I’m of the opinion that no parent would put their child at risk knowingly without something being fundamentally wrong whatever the case may be.

But hey, all the pp saying how dare the mother move in with an obvious abuser after only 5 weeks, must be so proud of there cushty lives as they’ve never stepped a foot wrong. (Likely hood is they have but fortunately it didn’t result in the same outcome it did for this poor mother &daughter).

Absolutely horrific. There was obviously a chaotic environment in the first place for the mother to move her baby in with a random man after such a short time, and also the fact that she says she had no concerns about the man’s behaviour despite him being ‘verbally aggressive.’

The poor father of this baby too. Even if she couldn’t or wouldn’t leave this man surely she could have dropped the baby off to the father in order to keep her safe from a man who hits her.

@AbsentmindedWoman

What the fuck is wrong with these men and women who can hurt a child? Just what exactly is missing?

Obviously we will never know but with all these high profile child murder cases - will they all be assessed for psychopathy/ sociopathy?

Because it seems like people with the capacity to kill a child are far more numerous than I would have thought a few years ago. Was that just me being young and naive?

And why did this mum move in after 5 fucking weeks

I can only imagine that basically all of the mothers who put their kid in danger like this have had an extremely dysfunctional upbringing themselves? They genuinely can't spot the potential dangers and are desperately hoping things will be ok?

It doesn't make any sense otherwise.

This is just my own experience, but I lived in a supported living when I had my oldest, since I was only a young teen. I know lots of the girls would move in with really short term boyfriends. Trying to make things right in a way.

Luckily no situations like this, but plenty who moved in with much older men/abusive men. I think when you’ve grown up like that you almost expect it/expect things to be wrong. Thankfully lots of us take the opposite approach and become ultra vigilant.