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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Four year old at football match

80 replies

footballwidow1234 · 30/03/2022 13:06

DH is a lifelong supporter of a league 1 team. He goes to matches about once a month

He would like to go more but he has other hobbies that take place on Saturdays

We had a row this morning about his unavailability for family activity at weekends which has now prompted him to suggest he takes our recently turned 4 year old DD to a match in a couple of weeks time

Nice for me to have time to myself, they'd be gone all afternoon until about 6pm/6:30pm.

But, I dont think this is appropriate for a young pre schooler. Ive been myself so know what it's like. Not sure she would sit still for 90 mins but also, not ready for her to learn the C word just yet !

AIBU?

OP posts:
millymolls · 30/03/2022 13:12

Mine at that age used to go
What is it you’re concerned about?

Lastqueenofscotland · 30/03/2022 13:14

A league 1 game? Unless it’s Sunderland the attendance is going to be pretty small, it’ll be fine. Plenty of kids at that age go

aibutohavethisusername · 30/03/2022 13:15

Most teams would have a family friendly stand.

murasaki · 30/03/2022 13:18

My sister takes hers in the family end. When its the local derby, which involves much swearing, they stay at home....Grin

BooksAndHooks · 30/03/2022 13:18

There are lots of kids and kids activities before the game at ours. Kids go from babies up. Mine were certainly going regularly at that age.

MangoReinhardt · 30/03/2022 13:18

There will be lots her age in the family stand and the language tends to be a bit better.

murasaki · 30/03/2022 13:19

They've also been going to rugby with their dad since a young age, and don't seem to have caught the swearing bug yet.

ChuckBerrysBoots · 30/03/2022 13:20

Our eldest went occasionally from that age, now she’s older she’s got a pretty good grasp of the rules and will happily sit through a whole match texting me updates. Youngest has zero interest. As long as he’s prepared to have to head off early, or entertain her rather than watching the whole game, then they should go for it.

Nicholethejewellery · 30/03/2022 13:22

I don't think football matches are really suitable until children are much older, 14/15 maybe. There's too much abusive/racist/homophobic language. It's ok for them to watch on TV because most of this doesn't get picked up in the broadcast children shouldn't be exposed to that sort of language, admittedly they'll pick it up in school soon enough though.

nearlyspringyay · 30/03/2022 13:22

Family stand, loads of kids. I used to go all the time as a kid. The only restriction from my mum was Milwall.

ChateauxNeufDePoop · 30/03/2022 13:26

DS15 has attended Championship, L1 and L2 matches since he was 3 as the season tickets were around £30 til he was 12. He's always been pretty anti-swearing though and if anything seeing/hearing grown ups act like that strengthened that view. He still had the odd chuckle at some of the chants but I don't see the issue providing the adult he is going with is sensible.

Original poster
footballwidow1234 · 30/03/2022 13:26

Thanks for the comments

Its not a small stadium and the language is colourful whenever i have been.

I can't imagine she would enjoy it and the outing is not for her benefit. Its for his enjoyment

I just feel there are activities better suited to a 4 year old and would prefer us to do something together as a family but was wondering if im being over protective

OP posts:
clary · 30/03/2022 13:28

Ds2 first went about that age or maybe 5yo. He and ds1 are massive fans tho (along with dh).

Dh concern was not swearing but more them sitting or standing still for that long and them getting cold. Cold not an issue in April but boredom msy be. Would he be prepared to bail if he had to?

SerialNameChanger2114 · 30/03/2022 13:29

My husband is taking my 4 year old to the Wycombe match on Saturday.

Crack on I say! Looking forward to an afternoon of peace and quiet to be honest!

MsChatterbox · 30/03/2022 13:31

I remember going when I was really young. I played with a bag of konkers and then stood up and cheered where it seemed appropriate!

namechange30455 · 30/03/2022 13:32

I think you're being precious about the football, but YANBU to expect your DH to prioritise family time some weekends.

You talk about his Saturday hobbies, but what happens on Sundays?

teaspig · 30/03/2022 13:33

I've been going since I was around 12 months with mostly my mum, I've taken all of mine from tiny

Yes they've heard various words and phrases but they've never repeated them - what happens at football stays at football

MangoReinhardt · 30/03/2022 13:33

I just feel there are activities better suited to a 4 year old and would prefer us to do something together as a family but was wondering if im being over protective

I think these are different issues- 1. whether you should be doing something together, 2. whether she'll enjoy it and 3. whether you ought to protect her from it.

To which I'd say 1. up to you, 2. no idea and 3. no, you don't need to protect her from it.

Why not suggest he take her once and see how it goes?

Original poster
footballwidow1234 · 30/03/2022 13:34

@clary

Yes. She will be bored and will want to run around

OP posts:
BillyAndTheSillies · 30/03/2022 13:34

DH has been building DS1 to attending premiership games since he was about that age. He's a shared season ticket holder and would take him to games he wasn't too concerned about missing. The first time DS1 lasted half an hour, second time until half time and the third about an hour. The noise was very overwhelming for him to begin with. He's 6 now and joins in with the singing.

He's asked to go again and he's now "in to" football because his friends at school go. We only ever take him when he asks if he can go.

Long story short, it's a fun few hours. Yes it can be a bit shouty and sweary but it's not for long. Maybe agree with DH that he will leave if she ever doesn't like it?

Original poster
footballwidow1234 · 30/03/2022 13:35

Ok! Perhaps ill let her go then. Thanks everyone Smile

OP posts:
Sirzy · 30/03/2022 13:35

If she wanted to go I wouldn’t have an issue. If she isn’t sure maybe try once and see how it goes?

Kanaloa · 30/03/2022 13:35

I don’t think a child going to football is the issue - my ds would have enjoyed it at that age. The issue is that he can’t be bothered doing anything with his own child, so just wants to conveniently slot her into his hobby, which she isn’t likely to enjoy. It’s not really fair and strikes me as not too different than sitting a child in the corner of the pub with a bag of crisps - boring for the child and only for dad’s benefit. It’s very selfish.

ISpyCobraKai · 30/03/2022 13:36

I'm not remotely interested in football but I know loads of people who take young kids to football matches, I'm assuming they're fine since it seems to happen fairly often.

Wnikat · 30/03/2022 13:37

She'll be fine. Maybe a little bored. But that will be a nice challenge for him!