Page 3 | Four year old at football match

footballwidow1234 · 2022-03-30T12:06:54+00:00

DH is a lifelong supporter of a league 1 team. He goes to matches about once a month He would like to go more but he has other hobbies that take place on Saturdays We had a row this morning about his unavailability for family activity at weekends which has now prompted him to suggest he takes our recently turned 4 year old DD to a match in a couple of weeks time Nice for me to have time to myself, they'd be gone all afternoon until about 6pm/6:30pm. But, I dont think this is appropriate for a young pre schooler. Ive been myself so know what it's like. Not sure she would sit still for 90 mins but also, not ready for her to learn the C word just yet ! AIBU?

Oblomov22 · 30/03/2022 15:01

Of course. Child will love it. Many people take children to premier league games.

Hoppinggreen · 30/03/2022 15:03

@sweeneytoddsrazor

So men can't take their daughters out on their own because they might have to take them to toilet?? Ffs👩‍🏫

Of course they can It’s just something OPs H might not have thought of since she feels he won’t be taking his DDs needs into account in general

FilthyforFirth · 30/03/2022 15:04

YANBU. My DH is a similar football mad fan though premierleague. I have told him 6 is the absolute earliest I will allow him to take our DS's. I think 4 is far too young and DD is unlikely to find it interesting the while time. She will get bored at that age.

Stick to your guns!

funnelfanjo · 30/03/2022 15:06

Let him take her this once. He'll soon find out that managing a small child and trying to watch a match at the same time just isn't compatible, especially after the third or fourth time he's taken her up for a walk around the concourse and missed a corner or free kick. Any bad language can be covered by a "words grown ups can use but children can't, and what happens at football, stays at football" conversation if they ask "Daddy, what does fuck mean?" (and lets face it, they'll be hearing it soon enough if they haven't heard it already).

But it's also possible she'll have a whale of a time up to the point she's had enough - my team have face painting, balloon toys, games and freebies for children in the family stand, and the mascot makes a big effort with the little ones too.

LoganberryJam · 30/03/2022 15:07

My DD went (with DH and DS) when she was that age and enjoyed it. She did hear some swear words though.

MyNameIsAngelicaSchuyler · 30/03/2022 15:14

Of course let her go!! My dad took me to games from really young, I loved it. So what if they hear some swearing, we knew never to repeat it and swearing is part of life!

And re the cold / bored comments, words fail me. Kids should be bored at times, that is completely normal! moulding a life for them where they are always 100% happy with every aspect of a situation is a. Impossible and b, creating a monster.

JudgeJ · 30/03/2022 16:15

@millymolls

Mine at that age used to go What is it you’re concerned about?

I went at that age and that was back in the day that the majority of fans were standing and there were crowds of 40K plus, we had a decent team then!

Scarby9 · 30/03/2022 16:40

Lots of kids that age and younger go to lower and non-league matches near us. The kids seem to enjoy the camaraderie and learn quickly what the expectations are (eat pie, cheer, boo) and wear the kit/ scarves.

LakieLady · 30/03/2022 16:53

I wouldn't be too concerned about the language, OP, she'll hear it at school soon enough.

Do you and DH get equal time for hobbies or other child-free activities? If he's out every Saturday, when do you get time to do your own thing?

thebabynanny · 30/03/2022 16:57

Can't think of anything I like to do less than take a 4 year old to a football match, but don't see the problem if he wants too.

Maybe you need to find a compromise on Saturday activities - eg once a month he takes dc to something and you get a break, once a month you take them to something and he can do his activity, once a month you have a family activity and once a month you have a chill day?

TeeBee · 30/03/2022 17:00

You really need to see the bigger picture here OP. There are family enclosures so your DD will be perfectly safe (although she might hear the odd choice word, she could hear them in the street and kids don't tend to say them unless they hear them repeatedly).

Anyway, I digress, its really in your own interests that DD comes to LOVE going to football with daddy. You need to big it up and get her very excited about going. You pretend to book yourself into a weekend course so you can't possibly take over if DD doesn't like it or wants to run around. Boom! Saturdays to yourself.

skippy67 · 30/03/2022 17:01

@Nicholethejewellery

I don't think football matches are really suitable until children are much older, 14/15 maybe. There's too much abusive/racist/homophobic language. It's ok for them to watch on TV because most of this doesn't get picked up in the broadcast children shouldn't be exposed to that sort of language, admittedly they'll pick it up in school soon enough though.

Have you ever been to a match? My ds has been going since he was 4 with Dh. When ds was younger they were in the family stand where any of the stuff you describe was very quickly dealt with.

Silverclocks · 30/03/2022 17:05

I took my DS2 to League 1 games from 4yo. I also went with my Dad as a 4yo in 1974.

Season ticket was £25pa for him so I could pick and choose which games and didn't take him in the very coldest weather, but there's no other reason not to IMO apart from the fact that you miss goals when they need the loo

TeeBee · 30/03/2022 17:05

@Nicholethejewellery

I don't think football matches are really suitable until children are much older, 14/15 maybe. There's too much abusive/racist/homophobic language. It's ok for them to watch on TV because most of this doesn't get picked up in the broadcast children shouldn't be exposed to that sort of language, admittedly they'll pick it up in school soon enough though.

Rubbish! At our local Premier league ground, there's a family enclosure and its perfectly safe/appropriate for young kids. You can't shield them from the wind blowing! Mine have loved going from a young age. I think my youngest was about 3 when he first went.

Silverclocks · 30/03/2022 17:08

My DC knew the words from very young but they also knew never, ever to repeat them in front of me.

DS2, now 18yo, let slip a very minor swear word in front of me the other day and the look of horror on his face was a picture It's all part of their education IMO. He went to football from 4yo, he knows there's a time and a place.

minniep · 30/03/2022 17:15

We were at a local rugby match a few weeks back with a tiny crowd absolutely no where near the size of a crowd you are talking about OP and there was some very very colourful language . It wouldn't have entered my head to leave the children at home because of it.

balalake · 30/03/2022 17:36

Let us know how it goes, OP. Possibly it may be the last time DD goes if it turns out to disappoint her.

If it's the Tractor Boys she could meet their star player and sponsor, Ed Sheeran.

Original poster

footballwidow1234 · 30/03/2022 17:57

Thanks everyone

Responses are overwhelmingly in favour of the footie so ill enjoy a day by myself

OP posts:

clary · 30/03/2022 18:43

@MyNameIsAngelicaSchuyler

Of course let her go!! My dad took me to games from really young, I loved it. So what if they hear some swearing, we knew never to repeat it and swearing is part of life!

And re the cold / bored comments, words fail me. Kids should be bored at times, that is completely normal! moulding a life for them where they are always 100% happy with every aspect of a situation is a. Impossible and b, creating a monster.

Thing is tho, if a child is cold (more likely at footy where you are frankly sitting still outside for two hours) it's not nice for them (and I don't think it's OK tbh) and they may moan and annoy others. So OP should be aware of possible need to dress DD up warmer than for, say, a shopping trip on similar day.

And if they are bored, while I agree that dealing with boredom is n important skill to learn, perhaps a footy match surrounded by many other people who have paid ££ to go is not the place to learn it - as in, the child may loudly vocalise their boredom. See also a trip to grown-up theatre.

As long as DH is happy to leave or take her out for a while if need be then there is no issue IMO.

Bananabutter · 30/03/2022 18:45

It’s nice for him to include her in his passion

Kanaloa · 30/03/2022 20:03

@MyNameIsAngelicaSchuyler

Of course let her go!! My dad took me to games from really young, I loved it. So what if they hear some swearing, we knew never to repeat it and swearing is part of life!

And re the cold / bored comments, words fail me. Kids should be bored at times, that is completely normal! moulding a life for them where they are always 100% happy with every aspect of a situation is a. Impossible and b, creating a monster.

So kids should sit bored and unhappy through a football game at age 4 so their (presumably adult) father never has to engage in family life or miss his weekend hobbies at any time whatsoever?

Kanaloa · 30/03/2022 20:05

Honestly I would feel totally differently about this if it was a generally involved father but I think people are missing that this came out of op noting that he never spends any family time because he’s too busy with his hobbies. And now the daughter is expected to sit bored through a game that at age four she’s unlikely to understand or really enjoy so he can tick off ‘spent time with daughter’ when he’s really just doing another activity he wants to do with no consideration for his daughter. And somehow she’s the one that ‘should be bored’ so she’ll learn a lesson.

BakewellGin1 · 30/03/2022 20:14

Oldest DS has been going to Sunderland matches since he was approx 4/5. In fact his school used to get an allocation of free parent/child tickets as we are local to stadium area
He hears the swearing/shouting etc but has never ever repeated it.
From about age 7 has been to some Premiership games (approx three or four times a year) to a top 5 team he supports.
From age 10 he travels to watch Rangers matches too with DH
Absolutely loves the games, atmosphere and when younger the FanZone family areas

Qwill · 30/03/2022 20:18

Sounds brilliant. I have such great memories of going to the football with my day, it was great to have one-on-one time with him. Why can’t they just try it for an afternoon?

Silverclocks · 30/03/2022 20:56

I don't think there's anything at all wrong with children doing things they might find boring because that's what parents want to do. It doesn't need to be all about them all the time and sometimes they'll (eventually) find a life long passion as a result