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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Will my little boy go to a mainstream school

80 replies

GrowingUpBesideYou · 29/03/2022 21:47

My DS is 3y2m old, speech and language delayed and possibly has ASD. He can follow some basic one step commands and in the past few months has gone from completely non verbal, to being able to say about 50 words (mostly labelling) and has recently started to string a couple of words together, for ex, "drive car", "climb tree". He has no behavioural issues apart from some frustration when he is unable to communicate his needs. Can feed himself and put his own wellies on. Not yet toilet trained. Very happy in his mainstream nursery but ignores all the other children and likes to do his own thing and play with the toys alone. Doesn't join in with story time and group activities yet but will sit at the lunch table. He can count to 10 and recite some of the alphabet. Sleeps well and is a happy and great boy. I know he is still so young at 3y2m, but I'm already wondering about school and if he will go to mainstream or need a special school. Any experience or advice appreciated.

OP posts:

Rights · 29/03/2022 21:50

OP, I’d recommend moving this thread to the SEN board - lots of experienced parents there who can advise

Original poster

GrowingUpBesideYou · 29/03/2022 21:52

Hi, thanks, will post in there!

OP posts:

Makeitsoso · 29/03/2022 21:52

If you have the option please seriously consider an SEN school. I know some people feel instinctively that mainstream is what they want. But SEN schools are funded considerably more than mainstream schools (even taking into account ECHP support). In mainstream children are often given (very often not full time) support with a TA. Whereas in a good SEN school they will have a trained teacher working with them and aiming things at just their level, it will be a language rich environment with likely more input from SLT, EP, OT etc.

gemsynermal · 29/03/2022 21:56

Hello, I have a 5 year old daughter who has speech and language problems, and a recent diagnosis of asd. At 3 she barely understood a word, even the concept of 'yes'. At her pre school she couldn't answer her name when the register was called because she didn't understand what the register was for (she shouted 'cake'). Like your child, she has no behavioural issues. Now, at school she is thriving. She is still behind other children with regards to language concepts, but she is very much a visual learner. She is a year ahead in reading and writing and average for maths. The teachers have no concerns about her academic ability. We still have a little way to go with the language, but we are confident she will get there. I recommend searching for 'lingle' and 'mumsnet' , she has posted so much advice that I found useful.

TeddyBeans · 29/03/2022 21:57

You'll have to apply to a mainstream school anyway to get referred and moved onto a SEN school. I've worked with four ASD children over 2 years and only one of them has made the move to a SEN school.

The child that closest matches your description of your DS has excelled in mainstream education. Once he starts school you'll soon know if mainstream is a good match for your DS

gemsynermal · 29/03/2022 21:57

For info she has an ehcp for 15 hours of support within her school. I feel that mainstream is right for her at this moment.

Original poster

GrowingUpBesideYou · 29/03/2022 22:01

Thanks everyone! My son is also a visual learner. He absolutely loves TV (which of course I limit) but there are some fab educational progs out there which he has learnt so much from. He will copy all the actions the characters on the language shows teach him and try and say the words

OP posts:

Original poster

GrowingUpBesideYou · 29/03/2022 22:02

Great to hear about your daughter gem, she sounds a little star 🌟

OP posts:

Imitatingdory · 29/03/2022 22:06

Does DS have an EHCP? If you want a special school place you will need one, so if you are thinking a SS may possibly be needed you should apply if DS hasn’t already got one.

You'll have to apply to a mainstream school anyway to get referred and moved onto a SEN school.

No you don’t. Some DC are admitted straight to SS without their parents applying to MS.

Loveacardigan · 29/03/2022 22:07

Really hard to give a definitive answer from the description of your child but needs of this type are becoming very common in mainstream schools and many children with ASD are very successful in mainstream primaries. Ask your nursery if they feel your child might need an EHC plan as this will be the way forward to access special school if needed.

Original poster

GrowingUpBesideYou · 29/03/2022 22:07

We will be applying for an EHCP. Ideally I would like to start my son in MS school and see how it goes

OP posts:

gemsynermal · 29/03/2022 22:08

One thing that helped me was a book called 'Einstein syndrome', can't remember the academic's name. Now, I'm not for one second saying that my daughter is a genius, but her dad also had a speech delay, and likely his dad too, and they are both engineers with amazing memories and very visual minds too. It's an interesting theory.

Zampa · 29/03/2022 22:12

My daughter has cerebral palsy and at 3 was just about managing 3 word phrases. I'm guessing she had about 100 words.

She started Nursery/Reception in a Special School but moved to mainstream in Year 1. It's been the best thing for her and her language is now considered "normal".

Our issue with the Special School was that she was fairly chatty amongst her peers, who were mostly neurodiverse kids and not especially verbal. One of the boys left in her old class has the same issues and his parents are considering a move.

There are lots of other reasons behind choosing a school and there is lots of support out there, if you can get the right contacts within your council.

frogsbreath · 29/03/2022 22:12

You cannot guess how it will pan out sadly. I wish we could glimpse them through time just to know a bit.

My son was potty trained at 3 years and 3 months. At 3 he was speech delayed, at 5 he was diagnosed autistic and they noted that as he was delayed it went towards diagnosis. However, they (at that time, age 5) considered his language skills to be advanced.

He was diagnosed with another neurological condition at age 7 and another age 10. He has always been academically at expected or above. His social skills need help.

He has an offer of a secondary school place at an "enhanced mainstream". It will has a specialist base and extra funding for SEN so he can have the best of both worlds.

I used to cry every night, scared he would grow up not understanding the world and frightened for him. I still am of course, I'm
Sure you are for your boy.

What can we do? We can't rush through time to find out how things will be. I am trying to enjoy being my boys mum in the moment, now, even though I'm still worried.

Find a local fb group for children with asd/Sen, it is other parents of children with additional needs that really can guide us through schooling and being prepared helps so much.

Kite22 · 29/03/2022 22:13

@TeddyBeans

You'll have to apply to a mainstream school anyway to get referred and moved onto a SEN school. I've worked with four ASD children over 2 years and only one of them has made the move to a SEN school.

The child that closest matches your description of your DS has excelled in mainstream education. Once he starts school you'll soon know if mainstream is a good match for your DS

No you don't.

GrowingUpBesideYou Across the country, there are nowhere near enough special school places for the children that need them, and whose families want them.
In my authority, a child with as much ability as your ds has wouldn't have a chance of getting a special school place.

hennaoj · 29/03/2022 22:14

It's incredibly hard to get special school places. Ask during the EHC process where they are likely to recommend he goes. If you want him to go to mainstream it shouldn't be a problem, just make sure you get that EHC!

Imitatingdory · 29/03/2022 22:14

You should apply for an EHCNA soon. The process takes 20 weeks if you don’t have to appeal, but sadly many parents do have to appeal, some more than once. Unless you have a finalised EHCP by January next year you should apply via the normal admissions round.

Make sure all the necessary assessments are undertaken as part of the EHCNA.

Spinakker · 29/03/2022 22:14

Sounds a bit like my friends ds who is at mainstream school. So long as he keeps on developing between now and age 5 in my opinion it sounds like he could go to mainstream school without a problem.

ambereeree · 29/03/2022 22:16

@GrowingUpBesideYou I'm in the same position as you. I would like my son to go to mainstream as he has words mostly labelling and can understand a lot more. No behavioural issues not that interested in other kids and just moves away if he wants to be alone. Some autistic kids, even those who start school with little language can thrive in mainstream.

Imitatingdory · 29/03/2022 22:16

If you want mainstream the LA can only refuse to name mainstream in an EHCP if it is incompatible with the efficient education of others and there are no reasonable steps to overcome that.

Sleepyblueocean · 29/03/2022 22:18

In my area he would probably go to mainstream because only very complex children start reception in special school.

Sleepyblueocean · 29/03/2022 22:24

My son was non verbal and didn't really understand speech or follow instructions and he started off in mainstream - wasn't considered severe enough for special school. He moved to asd specialist a few years later

Doveyouknow · 29/03/2022 22:25

I am sure he could go to a mainstream school if that's what you want and that's almost certainly what the LA will want. However I would focus less on the type of school and more on who can offer him what he needs e.g. extra support with socialising, transitions; SLT input etc.

Fr0thandBubble · 29/03/2022 22:37

Sounds very similar to my DS at that age (was diagnosed with ASD at 19 months). He’s now 9, in mainstream school, is in the top half of his class according to his teacher, is well-liked and you probably wouldn’t notice he has ASD, apart from the fact he is a little quirky!

Original poster

GrowingUpBesideYou · 29/03/2022 22:52

@Fr0thandBubble

Thanks Frith that's great to hear. Out of interest at what age did your DS become more verbal and conversational?

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