The letter finally came. I’m really upset

[Hell0G00dbye]

Long story short DD has followed the 98th centile for weight since my 37 week growth scan. She has followed it perfectly and consistently which was applauded for the 6 months I breastfed and since then has been a big issue with the HV team. She’s at school and I’ve just received the letter saying she’s very overweight.

What can I do? She eats good, home cooked food, has the odd treat but generally healthy and normal child portions. She’s very active both structured (does dance, swimming and gymnastics) every week and unstructured (walks the 40 minute round trip to school daily, parks and long walks on a weekend, runs around the garden. She doesn’t look fat (to me) but she is solid and does feel heavy to pick up.

The letter says contact the doctor or HV but I’ve taken her before. GP says she’s absolutely fine and will grow into her weight and had no concerns. HV just weighed and said she’s still overweight and to watch portions. Day to day I don’t worry about it as she looks fine and is super active but the letter has taken me right back to her 2 year check and being made to go monthly to the HV for weight checks and their disapproving looks when she continued along her centile.

NB: she has followed the 98th centile but I think the issue is she isn’t 98th for height so her BMI puts her at very overweight.

I agree so many people have lost sight of what is a normal weight, especially in children. A child at a healthy weight will often look skinny. You say that you can see her ribs - can you clearly see them, not just when she breathes in? If so she is probably fine. However, your husband as a doctor should have a clearer understanding than most on this. What does he think? Ask him honestly if she looks overweight or not. Also, you don’t need to answer,but are you or DH overweight? If so then it sounds like you are doing the right thing to look at your lifestyles, portions etc to see how you could improve.

As said BMI is completely outdated and shouldn't be taken as gospel!

I get the opposite OP, DS is 98th for height but 25th centiles for weight. I get told he is underweight (he's not) as he doesn't follow some mythical weight should be similar to height nonsense 🙄
Reality other then birth he's always tracked this! He's fit and active, I just look at my DN who has similar frame of tall and slim at 26 and eats like a horse!
You know your child's diet and lifestyle best ignore the rudimentary and frankly incorrect tool that is BMI!

No we haven't

But we have. Years ago most children were slim and if a child was overweight they stuck out like a sore thumb. These days a quarter of the class are overweight. But it's generally accepted as normal.

People that are a healthy weight get labelled as skinny, scrawny, gaunt.

School weigh in should be banned. The amount of shit they come out with. They are number crunchers. Rip the letter up and bin it.

Oh wow, really surprised by answers on this thread. That explains why so many are overweight. No one should feel offended by such a letter. It comes as a healthy advice; just look at the measurements again, look at your kid without clothes, do they have rolls and “puppy fat”, big bones and shoulders? If so, then they are overweight and you should make lifestyle changes. If they are slender, but just tall for their age - ignore.
People have accepted slightly overweight as normal and normal weight accused of being skinny.

But we have. Years ago most children were slim and if a child was overweight they stuck out like a sore thumb. These days a quarter of the class are overweight. But it's generally accepted as normal.

Where is this? My dc are in school & I work in schools. Most dc are still slim.

Babies are bigger & better nutrition means taller dc.

People that are a healthy weight get labelled as skinny, scrawny, gaunt.

again by whom?

I'm sorry but of she is measuring as overweight she's overweight. People are always in denial about it. Children shouldn't be solid they should be slender. Most children of normal weight will be described by parents as thin/ scrawny. If she's solid and heavy she's too fat.
From what age though @Brieandcamembert? My twins came out at 36 weeks nearly 7lbs each, no GD. They were hungry babies but they've kept their line, haven't gone over but it's always been in the 90th+. At what age from birth would you have me calorie restrict to get my babies down to an average weight despite being tall for their age? They're 2 1/4 in 3-4 clothes which fit them in the leg and the waist. They are solid, always have been and they'll be tall like Daddy no doubt although he's slim with it.

Can't comment on the OP and cjild but can comment on all the posts saying she can't be overweight.

27 per cent of kids leaving yr 6 are overweight. obese.

That is shocking.

So it can't be true that so many parents here say there are hardly any overweight children at their child's school.

When I was at school, there was usually 1 'fatty' as they were known in a class of 30. Now that would be 7/8.

Big babies often become obese adults.

Overweight mums who are pregnant often have large babies ( a genetic/ metabolic link caused by the mother's diet) and the cycle continues.

If the OP is married to a doctor, I don't know why she needs advice here. They ought to know if their child is overweight or not.

BMI can be a guide. It's just as silly to dismiss it outright as it is to believe it's 100% relevant, as it doesn't always take build into account.

We have this thread every time letters are sent.

Overweight and obesity in children jumped during the pandemic.

People are in denial.
Too much snacking, eating out, takeaway
Kids on their phones for hours.

Ignore it. If that is where she has consistently been since birth, then I would say that is fine. It would be more worrying if she suddenly dropped to the 50th centile, but most HV's would (incorrectly) think that was fine. In order to have an average, you have to have the outliers. Given the sport she does, it's likely more muscle. Most pro rugby players would be classed as obese, due to their weight. My DS was always at 95 to 98th centile for height and weight. I phoned the contact number explaining how their letter was flawed 10 years ago when I received it for him. They didn't ask for reference to their red book, and no consideration of height, shoe size (started school in size 1 shoes) or general build. They need not to send the letter based on pure stats, but actually look at the child. It was even more galling when discussing it with school that his class teacher commented that the staff doing the measuring would have been recipients of obese letters themselves...

We have a massive obesity problem

I suspect that many currently obese

Were also on the, shall we say “stocky” side as 4 year olds

And if it had been picked up at 4 and support given at that stage… i imagine it would make a difference i some cases. For the better

There are load of fat kids about

On this thread you’d think there was none and it was all in the imagination of HVs

Statistically

There will likely be a fair few parents on this thread describing their child is not under weight

That if we were actually to see them, would not hesitate to think they are overweight

It's a bit of a myth that all tall children have a high BMI. DS is 99th centile for height I have his year 6 measurement letter in front of me as it arrived last week and his BMI centile is 53. To move that to a centile that would trigger an action letter he would need to put on a considerable amount of weight not a few ounces.

Not worth the paper its printed on. Muscle weighs more than fat. Simple. Your child is active and eats healthy. Therefore has built up more muscle. This is not taken in to consideration. It is basicily height vs weight vs age to get the "norm". It doesn't account for high muscle density.

@MangyInseam

Yes, this. People make it sound like there's no connection between being overweight as a child and being overweight as an adult, when in fact the correlation is very strong. Of course it happens to some children but very many will not just outgrow it and every year they're overweight it gets harder to change in the future.

No, I think people understand this. But there are also many cases where that does not follow.

In an instance where the diet and level of activity is fine, that seems a more likely trajectory.

But people are such bad judges of whether diet (or portions) are fine, and really overestimate the effect of exercise, particularly when it's a couple of sessions a week of organised activity. That kind of exercise is very good for your health in other ways but won't do much at all for weight (the same is true of adults; a couple of exercise classes a week will make you much fitter and more toned over time but will make very little difference to your weight if you don't change your diet at the same time).

I always opt out of any medical checks/weigh ins/ etc at school.

I had one dc who was always under, one over. Both healthy.

Just ensure you do this in future, makes life so much easier

Are there children who get these letters inappropriately? Absolutely. Is it plausible that it is all but about three children on this thread who fall into that category? It is not.

Could have nearly written your OP word for word, OP. My daughter is Scandi heritage, she’s solid and feels much heavier than other kids her age. But when you strip her down to pants, she’s lean.
I do agree with posters who (in a sensible way) say that we have got used to seeing overweight children and adults. BUT you know your child is more than a figure. Look at her whole body. BMI can be a crock.
I’m also concerned because my daughter is much heavier than many other kids her age, but she still falls into the normal weighted category. She also does both gymnastics and swimming, as well as cycling and walking. We aren’t all the same build, that goes for kids also.

I've had the letter with all if my 2. Same story. Once they hit teens and grew in height they slimmed totally. They were never fat but the centiles said they were overweight

this is awful, I'd bin it. And I say that as someone whose DD was always sturdy and solid and therefore heavy but not fat. She now has body dysmorphia and is permanently on a feast or famine.

[quote Hell0G00dbye]@RantyAunty that’s so interesting thanks! DD wouldn’t look out for place in the 5 year old class picture.[/quote]
Glad it was helpful.

Children's ribs should be visible like the kids in the boat. That's the easiest way to tell if your child is overweight or not.

theyon stats for my county are 20% overweight in reception and 35% overweight in yr 6 but there are huge differences between affluent and deprived areas. Worse area in county has nearly half of yr 6 overweight.

How to give our children low esteem, stress related mental issues and eating disorders all in one little letter!!!!! That should keep the NHS busy for a few more years.