University reunion

[mrsnec]

I've got a few Aibus here.

I went to university 25 years ago. There's a reunion this summer. My first year was the best year of my life but in my second year I split up with my boyfriend (who is still on my mind constantly) and I couldn't find an industrial placement so I dropped out. So I didn't graduate.

I had a few good friends there I loved. I have sporadic contact with 2 of them on social media. I wish we are closer than we are. I've had a big trauma in my life recently. Neither of them have really been there for me.

I did visit my university city since and it didn't feel right. It didn't feel like I belonged there and everything had changed. My ex is back there now and I'm considering getting in touch.

I have suffered from anxiety quite a bit recently and this would be a really big deal for me. It's about a 5 hour train journey.

It's drinks and dinner rather than a big do. The friends I kept in touch with are both down as going but Neither have mentioned it to me. There's another girl too who blocked me on social media and I never found out why so I'm wondering if it would be awkward.

I feel like I need to decide soon as the recommended hotel is nearly full.

I can just about afford to go, I have an outfit to wear but am I better off letting bygones be bygones? I'm not one for nostalgia.

But, I worry I'm going to regret not going or that I won't be able to cope with it.

Wibu to book it and pull out if I don't feel up to it?

@mrsnec

My dad died before I found out. He was divorced from my mum who thinks she even knows who it was. The guy told me my ex was uncontactable at the time and wouldn't let me speak to him.

When I then moved abroad I got rid of my UK phone. I had some post redirected but some of it got lost. I just always put it down as one of those things and that it just wasn't meant to be.

Oh my goodness, that's a proper one that got away story. Now I'm thinking you should contact him to tell him you didn't ghost him and believed he was beyond reach in an army clink.

@mrsnec

So just to say I haven't contacted anyone yet and thanks for all the responses.

Just to explain something else, re my ex, we stayed in touch for years after I left. At one point I was going to move abroad to be with him. Just as I was about to go I was told he'd been arrested. A group of soldiers had got in trouble for attacking some tourists. It was only fairly recently that they published the names of the soldiers involved and it wasn't him. I googled him and found out he hadn't been in prison and chucked out of the army as I was told but had gone on to have a very successful career and is now a CEO. His social media doesn't show a partner only his children and family. It came to light that I'd been lied to about my ex at around the same time my marriage was breaking down. It's not like my ex was on my mind the entire time.

Also I never particularly liked the city or the institution. I often think even if I graduated I'd be ashamed to say where from but I did have a great time.

Some of you as usual are very quick to suggest help with mental health is advisable. It may be but I'm interested in other people's experiences first. Wondering if anyone has been in my situation and if anything good came of it.

I wouldn't be sure that this man would be interested in hearing from the woman who was quick to think the worst of him twenty-five years ago.

I don't feature on the public parts of DH's social media. I can assure you that I exist. He's had those children with someone.