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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

accident/safety - am I ott?

74 replies

louvrenew2 · 28/03/2022 13:19

I'm totally willing to be told I'm in the wrong here, I really don't know.

Over lockdown my DP got into cooking very complex things, unusual ingredients/techniques and he bought himself a selection of pans and dishes to experiment around with.

There is one dish he has which is HUGE.

Yesterday he was cooking something, I then hear this enormous crash.

I go into the kitchen and there is this enormous dish smashed apart all over the hob and the floor. Still buzzing and sizzling in the heat.

I said, very calmly, it's OK, just come away from it now. My only concern was if he was injured and then to prevent him getting injured. The pieces were enormous and very thick. I'm talking like the length of your forearm and hand. He's there picking at them as they're still clearly very hot.

He asked me if we could eat the food from the dish. I was like no...it's covered in broken glass, some bits may be too small to see. He did accept this but the fact he asked concerned me, we're not young btw, no kids in the home.

As we were cleaning up I asked him not to move things around because bits of glass could be transferred and he kicked off and said I was trying to be horrible and punish him for a mistake. I wasn't. I was just trying to sort it out. I was not angry at all.

Bear in mind this wasn't a wine glass or something, this dish was massive. It had shattered, not broken, there were tiny bits of glass everywhere. How he didn't get hurt I don't know.

I suggested we get a takeaway so we didn't have to use the cooker. Apparently I was making a big deal over nothing.

He then got a call from his (male if it matters) friend and mentioned what had happened and they said "oh, takeaway tonight then" so after that all of a sudden he is OK with a takeaway.

I cleaned up (so did he) and this morning we still spotted some shards of glass around because there was so much from this giant dish.

That's why I wanted to be sure it had all been cleaned up and to just get a takeaway so we didn't accidentally transfer a shard of it into food, we got all the big bits obviously.

I just find his lackadaisical attitude so shocking.

I also think he had no idea that this particular dish was not suitable for what he was using it for and in future he should take that more seriously.

yabu - It's not a big deal.

yanbu - DP needs to take things more seriously.

OP posts:

Whetheryouthinkyoucan · 28/03/2022 13:21

The reasonable part is not eating the food. The not using the cooker and all the rest is hysterical nonsense. He’s an adult.

Bagelsandbrie · 28/03/2022 13:23

@Whetheryouthinkyoucan

The reasonable part is not eating the food. The not using the cooker and all the rest is hysterical nonsense. He’s an adult.

Yep.

Turningpurple · 28/03/2022 13:24

I get the not eating it.

But the 'come away from it now' and bringing up the rest again today all seems ott to me.

And this I also think he had no idea that this particular dish was not suitable for what he was using it for and in future he should take that more seriously people make mistakes like this all the time.

It really appears that you are talking a our a child.

girlmom21 · 28/03/2022 13:24

Why didn't you just leave him to clear it up?

It was probably your faffing and unnecessary exaggerations that annoyed him - not the takeaway suggestion.

luxxlisbon · 28/03/2022 13:25

I don’t even know why you had to get involved with cleaning it up anyway. It comes across like you were controlling the situation and implying he couldn’t even clean it up alone. He’s an adult, accidents happen, unless he needed an extra hand in sure he was perfectly capable of figuring out how to clean up the glass.

Ordering a takeaway because you can’t be bothered to cook again is one thing but you didn’t want to use the oven after was weird!

TomAllenWife · 28/03/2022 13:27

Is he a child????

Dear god what a lot of drama! You sound bossy and controlling I would've left him to sort it out

Unanananana · 28/03/2022 13:29

What a load of drama over nothing!

Is he 11? Could he not have dealt with it by himself? After making sure he wasn't cut/hurt you should have left him to it.

Original poster

louvrenew2 · 28/03/2022 13:30

@Whetheryouthinkyoucan The thing is he was fine cooking again in a kitchen with random fine shards of glass everywhere, I don't think that's good and the way he was cleaning up it was getting transferred everywhere. I said I wasn't willing to eat food from the kitchen until it had all been cleared up.

Is that really not a big deal? Hey, if I'm wrong, ok, but wow.

OP posts:

RegardingMary · 28/03/2022 13:31

You spoke to him like he was a small child.

I'd have enquired if he was okay and offered to help clean up. You sound very controlling.

When will you ddeemit safe fo use the hob again?

girlmom21 · 28/03/2022 13:32

[quote louvrenew2]@Whetheryouthinkyoucan The thing is he was fine cooking again in a kitchen with random fine shards of glass everywhere, I don't think that's good and the way he was cleaning up it was getting transferred everywhere. I said I wasn't willing to eat food from the kitchen until it had all been cleared up.

Is that really not a big deal? Hey, if I'm wrong, ok, but wow.[/quote]
But by 'everywhere' surely you just mean work surfaces and floor? Not in all your pots and pans...

And he'd clean up before cooking again anyway, right?

Aprilx · 28/03/2022 13:33

Your reaction started off ok, but you do seem to be going on about it. I don’t understand the but about not using the cooker, for how long should you not use a cooker after breaking a kitchen object?

mynameiscalypso · 28/03/2022 13:33

I don't really understand how bits of the glass on the hob might get into something that you're cooking. Say you made some pasta, surely you'd just get a new pan out, make the pasta in it and put it into bowls. At what point would glass from the hob get into it?

Whetheryouthinkyoucan · 28/03/2022 13:33

Not a big deal no. Clear it up, cook again. No different clearing it and cooking last night to clearing and cooking in the morning. Unless you plan to never eat in the kitchen again.

Take away because he couldn’t be arsed to cook again, fine, but because some arbitrary amount of time since the incident hadn’t passed is daft.

Whetheryouthinkyoucan · 28/03/2022 13:35

Also, “come away from it now” is what I say to my kids when the paint water is spilled and their attempts to clear it wind up with a flooded table.

incognitoforthisone · 28/03/2022 13:36

Fine to not eat the food but otherwise, get a grip. He's a grown man; I'm fairly sure he knows whether something is too hot to touch or not. You drop something, you clean it up as best you can, you move on. If you cut yourself on a small piece of broken glass it's really no big deal anyway. And of course it was OK to use the oven.

As for 'he needs things more seriously' - no. You need to let him get on with things without poking your nose in and fussing round him as if he was a child.

VampireMoney · 28/03/2022 13:36

I said, very calmly, it's OK, just come away from it now. My only concern was if he was injured and then to prevent him getting injured.

This is how I talk to my young DC. Why did you feel the need to infantilise him?

Original poster

louvrenew2 · 28/03/2022 13:37

Ok, it would appear I was ott and in the wrong. Point taken.

@Aprilx Basically there were very fine shards everywhere and I wanted to wait until the morning to see them all...there were some there this morning. The dish was enormous, it's not like a normal sized dish.

OP posts:

RandomQuest · 28/03/2022 13:38

If my DH did that, I’d offer to help clean up if I was feeling nice but I definitely wouldn’t tell him how to do it, nor would I have any concern about him getting injured because he’s a functioning adult. I’m also very confused about you couldn’t use the cooker afterwards. Sure, I’d probably want a takeaway after all that but there’s no reason why you’d absolutely have to have one. And as for the dish being not being suitable for what he used it for, it’s gone now isn’t it, so need to hammer that point home either. Obviously you’re right about not eating it after that, but with regard to everything else you’re treating him like a child.

Original poster

louvrenew2 · 28/03/2022 13:39

@incognitoforthisone I never said it was not Ok to use the oven...

OP posts:

RegardingMary · 28/03/2022 13:39

@mynameiscalypso

I dropped a huge casserole type pyrex a few weeks ago. It was in a low drawer and it fell about 10 inches. It went EVERYWHERE including in the frying pan I was using, under the fridge, on the highchair about 10 feet away. I'm still finding parts of it despite doing a very detailed cleaning up. It just shattered into so many pieces, not like glass I've broken before.

nothingcomestonothing · 28/03/2022 13:39

I had to go back to your OP and check you said DP, becuase it sounded like you were talking to a child . If that's how you spoke to him, no wonder he was annoyed.

SummerHouse · 28/03/2022 13:40

I am like this with glass. No one is allowed to walk into the kitchen without shoes or slippers for a week or so. I recognise it's my issue but the family kindly indulge it.

Sounds like DP had a glass dish on the actual hob!? Yes, this would concern me greatly and make me question his competence in the kitchen.

Original poster

louvrenew2 · 28/03/2022 13:41

@Whetheryouthinkyoucan I take your point, I honestly do. It's just that when you see someone you care about picking at very hot pieces of glass the size of your arm it can freak you out a bit. I overreacted, I get it....will adjust going forward.

OP posts:

reluctantbrit · 28/03/2022 13:41

I think you were over the top how you spoke to him and how you took over and started cleaning, you treated him like a toddler who broke a small glass.

I shattered large glass dishes, it's not fun and yes the shards often go everywhere. But I would be very miffied if DH would come running and scold me and took over. Great to have someone checking that all is fine, people aren't injured and no fire. And yes to helping clearing up a mess.

I would never eat food from a broken dish, so you are absolutely right there.

Turningpurple · 28/03/2022 13:42

Is that really not a big deal? Hey, if I'm wrong, ok, but wow.

It's really not a big deal.

Unless the glass was in all your other pans, how was glass in the hob getting into food?

Yesterday it how cleaned up, you believe you got it all. Today it's turns out you didn't. When are you going to use the hob? What if you haven't got it all this time and spot a piece tomorrow?

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