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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

accident/safety - am I ott?

74 replies

louvrenew2 · 28/03/2022 13:19

I'm totally willing to be told I'm in the wrong here, I really don't know.

Over lockdown my DP got into cooking very complex things, unusual ingredients/techniques and he bought himself a selection of pans and dishes to experiment around with.

There is one dish he has which is HUGE.

Yesterday he was cooking something, I then hear this enormous crash.

I go into the kitchen and there is this enormous dish smashed apart all over the hob and the floor. Still buzzing and sizzling in the heat.

I said, very calmly, it's OK, just come away from it now. My only concern was if he was injured and then to prevent him getting injured. The pieces were enormous and very thick. I'm talking like the length of your forearm and hand. He's there picking at them as they're still clearly very hot.

He asked me if we could eat the food from the dish. I was like Shock no...it's covered in broken glass, some bits may be too small to see. He did accept this but the fact he asked concerned me, we're not young btw, no kids in the home.

As we were cleaning up I asked him not to move things around because bits of glass could be transferred and he kicked off and said I was trying to be horrible and punish him for a mistake. I wasn't. I was just trying to sort it out. I was not angry at all.

Bear in mind this wasn't a wine glass or something, this dish was massive. It had shattered, not broken, there were tiny bits of glass everywhere. How he didn't get hurt I don't know.

I suggested we get a takeaway so we didn't have to use the cooker. Apparently I was making a big deal over nothing.

He then got a call from his (male if it matters) friend and mentioned what had happened and they said "oh, takeaway tonight then" so after that all of a sudden he is OK with a takeaway.

I cleaned up (so did he) and this morning we still spotted some shards of glass around because there was so much from this giant dish.

That's why I wanted to be sure it had all been cleaned up and to just get a takeaway so we didn't accidentally transfer a shard of it into food, we got all the big bits obviously.

I just find his lackadaisical attitude so shocking.

I also think he had no idea that this particular dish was not suitable for what he was using it for and in future he should take that more seriously.

yabu - It's not a big deal.

yanbu - DP needs to take things more seriously.

OP posts:
incognitoforthisone · 28/03/2022 13:43

Hey, if I'm wrong, ok, but wow.

I think you're massive over-stating the danger and making a mishap into a giant drama. Sometimes bits of glass get everywhere when you break something. Sometimes the odd bit gets missed when you're cleaning up and you find them later. At the very worst, you might get a little splinter in your finger or something. It's not like you're going sever an artery.

junglejane66 · 28/03/2022 13:44

Is he allowed scissors?

Bananabutter · 28/03/2022 13:45

You are over the top and you treated him like a child.

Do you regularly fall into the parent/child dynamic like you have here?

Littlemissprosecco · 28/03/2022 13:46

UABU Don’t worry about it! What are the chances of it ever happening again??

Original poster
louvrenew2 · 28/03/2022 13:47

The hob is back in action again everyone, just to be clear.

I get it, I went over the top, but there's no need to say I'm a nasty controlling woman or something, I was just worried about someone I love.

@SummerHouse I think I have a few issues around glass because it's so easy to injure yourself (I have done). I know my DP is an adult but he is also pretty careless...I just didn't want him to get hurt on this huuuugge arc of glass and he 100% used the dish the wrong way, we all make mistakes, obviously.

OP posts:
Original poster
louvrenew2 · 28/03/2022 13:50

@Turningpurple because my DP is the type to easily wipe the shards into freshly cooked food.

Obviously if you get a new pan and cook new food the shards won't be in there.

OP posts:
Original poster
louvrenew2 · 28/03/2022 13:51

@junglejane66 Yes.

OP posts:
GregBrawlsInDogJail · 28/03/2022 13:51

Your tone here is massively parent/child. You sound like you're talking to a 4yo. Of course he got angry, frustrated and defensive.

How often do you speak to him this way?

Turningpurple · 28/03/2022 13:53

[quote louvrenew2]@Turningpurple because my DP is the type to easily wipe the shards into freshly cooked food.

Obviously if you get a new pan and cook new food the shards won't be in there.[/quote]
He wipes the sides down into food he is cooking?

Original poster
louvrenew2 · 28/03/2022 13:53

@GregBrawlsInDogJail Whenever there is a foot long, three inch thick arc of glass that's baking hot and he's got his hands all over it.

So once.

OP posts:
fairylightsandwaxmelts · 28/03/2022 13:55

You're treating him like he's in primary school.

There's no need to go in and speak to him "calmly" and prevent him from getting injured.

Just ask if he needs help and let him get on with it - he's a grown adult!

Original poster
louvrenew2 · 28/03/2022 13:56

@Turningpurple No. But if there was a shard of glass on the hob he would easily get it into food. He said that himself.

Anyway. I get it, I was wrong. I'll go and apologise now, thanks everyone.

OP posts:
Turningpurple · 28/03/2022 13:59

[quote louvrenew2]@Turningpurple No. But if there was a shard of glass on the hob he would easily get it into food. He said that himself.

Anyway. I get it, I was wrong. I'll go and apologise now, thanks everyone.[/quote]
I just dont get how

I am not being difficult. I just don't get taht at all.

Original poster
louvrenew2 · 28/03/2022 14:01

@Turningpurple I'm sure you're not being difficult, thanks for your honesty.

OP posts:
MysteriousMonkey · 28/03/2022 14:05

I think you were over reacting, not about the food, definitely wouldn't eat it. But honestly we break things all the time (I'm really clumsy as are the kids) and I'm always coming across bits of glass even weeks later. I don't worry about it.

MysteriousMonkey · 28/03/2022 14:06

PS you are nice though, if that had been my husband I'd have told him he was on his own with the mess Grin

GregBrawlsInDogJail · 28/03/2022 14:07

If you really think he's just merrily going to wipe shards of glass into a plate of food and then serve it, then you think he's a complete idiot. How many times has he done that when cooking?

He was no doubt startled and embarrassed by the accident in the first place, then you came along and added fuel to the fire by treating him like a child. His reaction is really very understandable, and it's strange to me that it's so hard for you to understand.

AffIt · 28/03/2022 14:07

I broke a (really nice) piece of ovenware on the hob the other week because I stupidly put it on a gas burner. Not entirely surprisingly, it shattered, because 'ovenware' is not the same as 'can withstand direct heat'.

Oh well. Lesson learned (I'm annoyed at myself, though - it was a nice dish).

However, I got the bits together, because I am an adult and understand how hot things and sharp things can be dangerous, got another dish out and started again. In the same kitchen. Nobody died.

Is it your habit to treat your OH as a small child? I'd be seriously annoyed if mine spoke to me that way.

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 28/03/2022 14:14

Is anyone else now imagining the OPs DH as Martin from Friday night dinner in the final episode 🤔

GlitteryGreen · 28/03/2022 14:22

[quote louvrenew2]@Whetheryouthinkyoucan The thing is he was fine cooking again in a kitchen with random fine shards of glass everywhere, I don't think that's good and the way he was cleaning up it was getting transferred everywhere. I said I wasn't willing to eat food from the kitchen until it had all been cleared up.

Is that really not a big deal? Hey, if I'm wrong, ok, but wow.[/quote]
Yeah sorry OP, I think this is well over the top.

Surely if you smash something glass in the kitchen you clean it up as best you can and then just carry on as normal? Maybe don't walk about in bare feet for a few days but that's really the only precaution most would take, surely?

Aprilx · 28/03/2022 14:23

@louvrenew2

Ok, it would appear I was ott and in the wrong. Point taken.

@Aprilx Basically there were very fine shards everywhere and I wanted to wait until the morning to see them all...there were some there this morning. The dish was enormous, it's not like a normal sized dish.

Yes I get it, your dish is the size of a canoe boat. I still do not see how shards would jump up and into the next dish that is cooked on the cooker.
Namesrus · 28/03/2022 14:23

Luckily OP I don’t think you’ll have this problem again as I’m sure your DH will be too scared of being chastised, if anything goes wrong, to ever cook again.

Original poster
louvrenew2 · 28/03/2022 14:26

@Namesrus He's cooking the same meal again tonight, in a different dish. So you've put your farthing on the wrong whippet there.

OP posts:
Booboobibles · 28/03/2022 14:29

He was acting like a child. Of course you’d try to stop him picking up the hot pieces of broken dish.

I think we all know he wouldn’t have cleaned up all the shards of glass properly. I hope he doesn’t do all this fancy cooking and leave you to clear up the mess.

OakRowan · 28/03/2022 14:29

Accidents happen. Shoes on, sweep it all into a pile and dustpan shovel the worst of it into something safe to carry to the bin. Hoover EVERYWHERE, kitchen surfaces, top of the hob, floors, entrances and through the doorways into adjacent rooms, it can go miles. Mop. Then hoover again the next day. Check under furniture, appliances, hoover more often for a while, done. Dont let pets in, wear slippers. You keep saying you were worried about him, but it does sound like you laboured the point about him having an accident, by patronising him, saying you were worried over and over doesn't make that ok. You could've just helped get the job over with without flapping and winding the situation up.