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Original poster

To think my friends comments are unnecessary

78 replies

diamondsare4ever00 · 27/03/2022 20:12

Have known my friend for 11 years. We used to get on great however soon after she met her now DH things have changed. Don't know how to explain it but she's sooo above everyone ..
She always compares her life to everyone's and seems to think whatever they do as a couple is always the right/ best thing.

One example being after both of us had boys .. she used to say how the next one better be a girl as she wants one of each and how that's a "perfect family" (her words)

Anyway I just had a DD after my son and soon after she fell pregnant with her second .. well .. she's just found out that they're expecting another boy .. so during our coffee date she said that they're super happy and that her and her DH think that having 2 boys is the best! And how upset they would've been if they were expecting a girl .. "girls are awful and I would hate to have one .. can't stand little girls" "ohh and teenage girls who would want them .."

Ahhhmmm wtf? Saying those things to me as I'm holding my DD 🙈🙈

Might be my hormones but I've had enough of this whatever they do is just the best and that's it ..
she compared her car to mine the other day ( both 4x4) saying she's read that hers is better .. what was she expecting me to say to that?!!!
Am I going crazy? Is it my hormones & should I calm down or is this not a normal friend..?

OP posts:
Thumpkin · 27/03/2022 20:28

Tell her that ‘comparison is the thief of joy’. She sounds horribly competitive and snide.

nutbutter1 · 27/03/2022 20:34

I would say she is jealous maybe . Ignore .

CareBear50 · 27/03/2022 20:34

When she said that about two boys being better than a girl and a boy I think I would have said v gently.....your comment is actually quite horrible and hurtful as I have a boy and this beautiful new baby girl. So what are you trying to say? Am I missing something here? Just to let her realise how bad her comments actually are

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 27/03/2022 20:36

Just drop into the conversation that her insecurities are particularly loud at times.

She’ll hopefully pack it in.

Libertybear80 · 27/03/2022 20:37

She sounds like a tit! Get a new friend.

kitkatsky · 27/03/2022 20:47

OP she's jealous. You've got what she wanted. Yes, gender disappointment and expectations might not really be ok, but she's acting out because she's envious. Sure, she should be old enough to control
It but maybe you, as the lucky one, could also show empathy to her disappointment? I'm sure she didn't really intend to insult you or DD but if you think she did, bin her as you feel best 🤷‍♀️

Paperdolly · 27/03/2022 20:49

I had a friend who was similar and would often say “ I wouldn’t want to live ‘Xs’ life!’ When indeed hers was very difficult through no fault of her own.

You have to feel sorry for them…then dump them, like I did. I realised too late ALL her family were snobs.

Xmassprout · 27/03/2022 20:50

Call her out on it.

Next time she starts to be horrible you need to tell her that it is perfectly possible to be happy without putting other people down.

grapewines · 27/03/2022 20:51

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon

Just drop into the conversation that her insecurities are particularly loud at times.

She’ll hopefully pack it in.

Good one. I'm filing that away.
Original poster
diamondsare4ever00 · 27/03/2022 20:57

Thanks all.

I will try to be more prepared for next time and have a ready reply for when she starts with "we're doing it better" attitude.

Honestly over the last few years

We bought a 4 bed house .. she replied with "oh we've got a 3 bed as it came with more land than yours ... so more opportunities to extend " 🤪

We went on a holiday to Spain .. "oh no we hate the Spanish holidays .. full of brits everywhere "

Bought a double buggy .. "oh this looks like a monster buggy .. we won't be getting one as by then DS WILL walk" 😩

Could give 1000 examples of how whatever they have or do or think it's better !
She's never happy for anything that I do or have .. it's always .. oh we will do this and that
Today the comment about having daughters has made me open my eyes 😖

OP posts:
Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 27/03/2022 20:59

Tell her your dh has a 9 inch dick and smile sweetly.
She sounds actually hideous..

Mangogogogo · 27/03/2022 21:00

She is deeply, deeply unhappy somewhere in her life

Georgeskitchen · 27/03/2022 21:01

She sounds quite frankly awful. I wouldn't want a friend like her!!

Youdoyoutoday · 27/03/2022 21:04

Goodness!!

I'd get rid of this friend, next time she starts, just get up and leave saying you've compared her to another friend, the other friend is much nicer!

DontLookBackInAnger1 · 27/03/2022 21:07

She's definitely jealous.

If you value her friendship then I'd have to say something. Let her know you find it offensive. She's maybe too much in her own head to think of how it feels to you. It's likely also a result of her partner being that way.

If she doesn't stop then just cut her loose for a while

DowntonCrabby · 27/03/2022 21:07

Goodness, even the most envious of people have some self awareness. She sounds utterly cringe-inducing, I’d find it difficult to keep a straight face when she one-up’s you.

Distance yourself OP and find some more genuine friends who are happy for your achievements and life’s milestones. Flowers

flashpaper · 27/03/2022 21:10

She sounds like my cousin. Never happy for anyone but always has the best of everything. I have no advice, OP, only sympathy and I'm interested to see some replies on how to deal with this because I can't cut my cousin out!

PinkSyCo · 27/03/2022 21:11

She’s no friend. I don’t know how you can bear to around someone like her. Tell her to fuck off.

surreygirl1987 · 27/03/2022 21:12

An ex colleague was like that. She was deeply unhappy, insecure, and very envious of others. The question is, do you want to be friends with her? Is your friendship good for you? I'd be tempted to just cut ties

HanSB · 27/03/2022 21:15

She sounds jealous and insecure and puts you down to make herself feel better. What do you gain from this friendship? It doesn’t sound like she is supportive or lifts your spirits. She just doesn’t sound very nice to be around!

Karwomannghia · 27/03/2022 21:19

I had a friend like this and she had a dysfunctional childhood and was disowned by her parents. She kind of used me as a yardstick by which to compare her own life - so if she could do ‘better’ than me in some way she knew she was doing ok. She has had a lot of bad luck but always been incredibly proud, a fighter, but doesn’t show any signs of vulnerability ever, whereas I’m happy to and I think that made her feel good.

TheMarvelousMrsMaisel · 27/03/2022 21:21

She could of been upset about not having a daughter, and now just says that. I don't think it's aimed at you in the slightest.

BFPDec21 · 27/03/2022 21:22

I couldn't put up with that and would distance myself from it.

I like real people where you can tell them all the bad stuff too. You don't want someone riding on the illusion being perfect all the time. That being said, she probably knows her life isn't perfect and that's why she's being like she is.

Original poster
diamondsare4ever00 · 27/03/2022 21:23

Yes. Recently I don't feel that I'm gaining anything from this friendship apart from going home feeling like shit 😂

But it's a shame as she's never been like this before. She was a very down to Earth sort of person. We both used to drive shit cars and would make fun of ourselves.. then we both got married / had children / DHs are both doing quite well with their jobs and all of a sudden it feels like a competition. 😩 ( well not all of a sudden .. it's been a few years )

OP posts:
Juniper68 · 27/03/2022 21:38

If you value the friendship you need to say something. If not start avoiding her. She sounds exhausting.

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