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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone else hate mother's day???

62 replies

velvet24 · 27/03/2022 18:23

I feel its all a bit ott, stuff everywhere in the shops, most of it tat. It doesnt feel the same when you have to constantly remind your teenage children about it, one gave me stuff later on today other forgot but made me tea and says he appreciates me. Just feel all this pressure to photograph beautiful flowers and gifts and have it all over Fb.
I hate these made up days , made up by card companies to make money, anyone else????
Oh and must be awful for women who cant have children or have lost mothers, or just don't have a relationship with theirs.

OP posts:
EV117 · 27/03/2022 18:27

I think YABU - it sounds like if your children made more of an effort you’d be all over it, posting pictures and all. (I’ve never felt the need to do that.) I don’t think it’s fair to begrudge the day in its entirety because it’s not working out how you’d like it.

SquigglyOne · 27/03/2022 18:36

I lost my mum to cancer 11 years ago and even though I’m a mother myself now I hate hate hate it

SunshineLollipopsAndRainbows · 27/03/2022 18:42

I don’t think anyone should be judged for now they feel about today - it’s very emotional for some ( I have quite a few friends who don’t have their Mums anymore). And I agree with you OP about the shops. Stuff piled high, overpriced flowers, lots of tat that will end up at the back of a drawer. It’s become extremely commercialised, like other occasions. Originally it was a church festival where children took home a posy of Spring flowers after the service to give to their Mum & that was it!

HomeHomeInTheRange · 27/03/2022 18:42

Mothering Sunday isn’t made up, it originated from a centuries old religious event.

But it has certainly been hyped up and commercialised.

When I was young it was low key and family based, a hand made card from school or Sunday school, breakfast in bed for Mum.

But now it is Facebook fodder.,.and can’t be acknowledged without a great long disclaimer about everyone who isn’t it can’t be a mum.

And expectations are sky high, presents, Prosecco etc.

Which means more room for falling short.

DaisyDozyDee · 27/03/2022 18:43

I don’t like it either. I’m not sure there’s a way to celebrate it without making massive numbers of people feel a bit shit for various reasons. If you’re feeling pressure to post pictures etc, then that’s you choosing it though. Whether you celebrate an occasion and whether you share it on social media are both decisions for you to make for yourself.

kimchichichi · 27/03/2022 18:45

Me. It's bollocks.

I hate all occasion days.

Original poster
velvet24 · 27/03/2022 18:46

Glad im not the only one, is just so shit !!! People feeling the need to buy stupid presents and those without mums must be pure hell for them. We also don't bother with valentines because we don't need 1 day for someone to tell us we are happy in our relationship. Just like mothers day, I know my kids love and appreciate me as they tell me , don't need them to be forced to buy tat for me.
I'll be glad when all the crap has gone , then it will be sodding fathers day/.....

OP posts:
Original poster
velvet24 · 27/03/2022 18:46

@kimchichichi

Me. It's bollocks.

I hate all occasion days.

This! Card companies wanting us to spend money on these ridiculous days.
OP posts:
Nothappyatwork · 27/03/2022 18:47

Yes I don’t have a mother and frankly I’ve got thoughtless children so it’s a wicked combination

esloquehay · 27/03/2022 18:49

I don't hate it; I just don't celebrate it.

winnieanddaisy · 27/03/2022 18:49

I think that you're being a bit negative . Mother's Day isn't a new thing thought up by card shops to make money .
It was called Mothering Sunday in the past and when I was a child it was a chance for your mother to be spoilt on one day in the year .
In the 50s money was scarce and a lot
of mothers were stay at home mums so they didn't get treats Willy nilly the way lots of mums do nowadays . My mum didn't get her hair done often or her nails done in a salon . She always put herself last so we kids could have what we needed . Mother's Day was a day for her to be first . A card , some daffodils and breakfast in bed would be enough to make her happy .
Yes it is over done these days but the sentiment is still the same , if you love your mum it's a day to let her know it .

birdglasspen · 27/03/2022 18:50

I don’t do these days -valentines, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day. Just ignore it, oldest child made a card at nursery I thanked him for it but if he hadn’t made it I wouldn’t have cared! I am however going to teach them random acts of kindness towards their mum like running me a bath and leaving me in peace throughout the year!😂

ScreamingSauvignon · 27/03/2022 18:53

Honestly, use it to treat yourself. So many disappointed mothers on here today.

I would use this day to do what you want to do, and as we know in advance when it is, buy yourself something nice.

Don't give shitty men or lazy teens the power to upset you. I have just read about a mum crying over on another thread!

Reclaim the day and spend it how you wish or ignore it, but hating it is BU. Oh and don't make efforts for those who can't do same for you.

Wine Cheers to all the wonderful mums out there.

ImInStealthMode · 27/03/2022 18:57

Mother's Day isn't a new thing thought up by card shops to make money

Well, it's origins were that on the 4th Sunday in Lent domestic staff were given the day off to return to their 'Mother Church' - where they were baptised or the church in the parish of their family. In the process of going 'home' it would generally combine a visit to see their own Mother. Families would all attend church together and Children would pick flowers on the way to church and give them to their Mothers.

The practice of returning to your Mother Church died off in the 20s, but the tradition of giving gifts to your Mother remained (and was then blown into the almighty commercial monstrosity we see today).

As someone who doesn't have and may never have children we've spent today very quietly indoors. I don't begrudge anyone having a lovely day but I'd rather not be out amongst it.

Pumperthepumper · 27/03/2022 18:57

Mother’s Day these days seemed to be served with a healthy dose of guilt. If your family makes a big deal of it, you’re spoiled and showing off. If they don’t, you’re neglected and a martyr. Also, we have to think of those who aren’t mothers for whatever reason. There’s absolutely none of this on Fathers Day.

WonderfulYou · 27/03/2022 19:02

No I don’t hate it. It’s an excuse for me to get a takeaway or a nice treat and reflect on what a good parent I’ve been.

What I do hate are the numerous threads you know will come of how disappointed they are because they didn’t get XYZ.

FrecklesMalone · 27/03/2022 19:06

Well tbh I had a lovely day. I forced my three teens to go for a walk up a mountain and after the grumbles we had a gorgeous day in the sunshine. 2 of them also drew me a card. I feel lucky and appreciated.i do miss my Mum though. Apart from petrol it cost nothing but was perfect.

DaffTheDoggo · 27/03/2022 19:06

I like it but we don’t do the commercial stuff at all- just went for a country walk together, which was lovely

Otoh, people posting braggy photos on FB is always awful, whether for Mothering Sunday or any other occasion.

Halfarsedjingler · 27/03/2022 19:09

I hate it, my lovely Mum has young onset dementia, every year she knows less of who I am, she asked me who my Mum is the other day Sad
Her Mum is still alive and also declining in her health.
My kids have got me nothing despite going out shopping yesterday with DH, they have cooked 2 meals for me instead apparently, except I have Covid and feel like shit so don't want it and can't cook for them anyway so not sure that really counts.

bigbluebus · 27/03/2022 19:11

I don't hate it but we don't go OTT over it either - definitely no Fakebook posts. My DM has been dead for 6 years and my DD for 5. I actually took a plant to DDs grave today. (DM's is too far away). Adult DS remembers to get a humerous card and a gift and has cooked dinner tonight as we had friends around for a drink so it was easier for him to cook - not because it was Mother's Day. I've seen many posts mentioning Mothers today but none showing gifts - just post thanking Mothers for all that they do.

Turningpurple · 27/03/2022 19:15

I think yabu.

My mum died 4 months ago. Today's being shit. But so was Christmas, that's commercialised and OTT. People also get ridiculously upset over it not being perfect.

I think you can dislike it, not want to do it etc and its fine. Some people do it and enjoy it.

If people buy events up in their head and then become miserable because it's not insta-perfect or can't appreciate sentiment over something that looks good on their social media, then they are the problem and they need to look Inwards.

Yes, today has been shit for me. But dd got me a pot plant and ds some chocolates. They knew it would be hard for me and they are still kids. They thought about it and worked together to get something. It's enough.

And i do hope lots of people have enjoyed today. Just because mines shit doesn't mean anyone else's should be. Mine doesn't get any better or worse for other people enjoying it or nor enjoying it.

Phos · 27/03/2022 19:16

I don't hate the day. I hate the fact people feel the need to post gushy pictures all over social media of what they got.

Indoctro · 27/03/2022 19:20

I don't know I think it's nice I have a 5 and 7 year old and all week they been making drawings for me for Mother's Day and about 5 cards,

They have been mega excited , gave me a arm full of stuff they made and been offering to help me all day because it's mother day

I think it's sweet of them .

Making the most of it as I'm sure by time teens I will get bigger all Smile

Indoctro · 27/03/2022 19:23

Should of said I don't get bought stuff and nor does husband on Father's Day. Just stuff the kids have made.

FairWindClearSailing · 27/03/2022 21:51

I'm totally with you. I find it ridiculous. And if you have to wait until mother's day to get a lie in and a cup of tea in bed then you have a shit husband...