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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have left without saying goodbye

61 replies

Weekendfromhellll · 27/03/2022 17:39

Went to see my mum for Mother’s Day and had a nice drink in the pub. Went back to my parents’ house and they went upstairs to facetime my grandparents, we were sat in the living room waiting but they were taking ages and our toddler was getting really restless and is in need of a nap, and we are due to collect food at 6pm. Went upstairs to tell my mum we were going to head off, got a dirty look and told to ‘just wait’ so waited around another 10 minutes, before deciding to just head off, sending a message to explain why and that we’d see her in the week.

Now expecting to be berated over text message. So before that (absolutely) happens, AIBU to have left?

OP posts:
thirstyformore · 27/03/2022 17:52

Why couldn't you join in the FaceTime? They could have done it downstairs...

Original poster
Weekendfromhellll · 27/03/2022 17:54

@thirstyformore They prefer it to just be them, so don’t allow it.

OP posts:
WizzardPjs · 27/03/2022 17:54

YABU

I get that it was irritating waiting but I couldn’t just walk out without saying goodbye, especially on Mother’s Day

Skiptheheartsandflowers · 27/03/2022 17:55

No, you were fine to go. They are weird about the Facetime thing. And it's your Mother's Day too.

Beees · 27/03/2022 17:56

I would have left when they decided to move upstairs to do the face time. There is literally no reason why you could not have joined in with this and it was incredibly rude to just leave you downstairs.

Violetmo0n · 27/03/2022 17:57

I find the FaceTime weird, why the dirty look? Why not do it when you had left?
They're your grandparents, bet they would have liked a quick chat with you?

I would of done the same tbh.

MindPalace · 27/03/2022 17:57

Completely YANBU. Bad of your mum.

Chloemol · 27/03/2022 17:59

YANBU

PinkiOcelot · 27/03/2022 18:02

Definitely not being unreasonable. How rude! Are they your grandparents and you got a dirty look when you went in? Bizarre behaviour.

Original poster
Weekendfromhellll · 27/03/2022 18:03

Yeah we were waiting 40 minutes by the time we left and the call wasn’t anywhere near ending. I would have liked to have said hello but it’s their ‘thing’ and my mum said my grandparents prefer it when it’s just them. It is odd now I think about it.

OP posts:
RunnerDuck2020 · 27/03/2022 18:03

YANBU - pretty rude of them to disappear upstairs to FaceTime while you were there!

lunar1 · 27/03/2022 18:05

They sound awful!

KarmaStar · 27/03/2022 18:06

Yabu to walk out on mothers day without a word then send a text,it looks like you went off in a huff.
We've only heard your version of events.

Original poster
Weekendfromhellll · 27/03/2022 18:07

@KarmaStar I popped my head in to say we we’re leaving and got brushed off. And that’s true, but am unsure what I can do about that because my mum doesn’t use MN.

OP posts:
cptartapp · 27/03/2022 18:09

Odd all round.
And you expect berating? Like a child? Ignore it when it comes. Don't respond.

Skiptheheartsandflowers · 27/03/2022 18:09

@KarmaStar

Yabu to walk out on mothers day without a word then send a text,it looks like you went off in a huff. We've only heard your version of events.
How is that different to any other thread ever?
OliviaBond · 27/03/2022 18:17

Yanbu if anything your parents were rude for FaceTiming when you were there when they had no intention of including you

Longingforatikihut · 27/03/2022 18:21

Your parents were rude. Who goes off to make a non urgent call when you have guests.

I'd be interested to know how long those who think yabu think you should have waited for them?

cheeseislife8 · 27/03/2022 18:28

YANBU, that was rude of them, especially leaving you for 40 minutes.

UptownWorld · 27/03/2022 18:32

How long were they on FT for in total? If it was 20 minutes I think YABU but if an hour then not.

Beees · 27/03/2022 18:32

I'd be interested to know how long those who think yabu think you should have waited for them?

Me too. I'd be packing up after 20 minutes so think the OP sticking it out for 40 is already pretty considerate.

If they didn't want to include them on the video call it could easily have been done after the OP and her toddler had gone home.

Aprilx · 27/03/2022 18:32

I can’t believe people are saying you weren’t being rude! Incredibly rude to walk out of somebody’s house without saying goodbye. One of your parents was just wishing their own mother Happy Mothers Day surely.

Sunshinegirl82 · 27/03/2022 18:33

It sounds as though this has shone a light on what appears to be quite an odd dynamic.

You are an adult with your own child so presumably it is also your Mother's Day? Why the weirdness about the FaceTime? Did they know you had plans to collect food at 6? Why would they decide to do the FaceTime when you were there? It must have been pretty obvious you wouldn't be staying for too long? Why not just arrange the FaceTime for after you had gone?

The whole thing sounds odd, makes me wonder if this sort of thing is a common occurrence? If things are normally a bit fraught because they behave a bit weirdly?

TheArtfulBlogger · 27/03/2022 18:34

YANBU at all!!!

How rude of them to go off for nearly an hour while you are sat there waiting!! Shock

Mrsjayy · 27/03/2022 18:35

You said you had to go and you left I don't think you did anything wrong.