To be upset that my 12 year old didn’t make a card?

[Lennon80]

I’m wondering if your older children did anything for you? His father isn’t around to prompt him but he knew it was Mother’s Day and didn’t bother to make a card or do anything at all. Just said happy Mother’s Day. My five year old made loads of effort.

I have 3 kids. 18, 15 and 9. My daughter who is the only one who got me a card and some flowers. My 15 yr old, is old enough, but chose not to and I don't blame my 9 yr old, that's down to his dad. I am married may I add, 19 yrs. Previously to this for the last 2 years I got nothing, not even a cup of tea offered. So I thanked my daughter and made my 15 year old, do all the jobs I normally do, called my husband a cunt on behalf of my 9 yr old who is feeling guilty, but in reality to that his brother and sister could have helped him make a card, got ADHD, so couldn't be left alone to do it himself without demolishing something else.

The silence is lovely as they are all sulking, feeling hard done by.

This being the culmination of the last 2 years. I have been waiting til the no fault divorce rules change this April, to serve my hubby with divorce papers and we shall be going our separate ways. I am off to enjoy the rest of my life without unappreciative people in it, as far away as possible from the lot of them.

Feeling unappreciated instils resentment, I have that in bucketloads. Seeing the end of the tunnel is the only thing that's holding me back from walking out the door. Ticking off the days on the calendar, every morning, along with the cup of tea, I make myself.

I’ve got 2 adult children , one at home who has moonpigged an excellent card ( she writes) and added some more specially chosen music to the stick she made for my car last year . The other ( son ) came yesterday with 8 bunches of tulips , 4 different boxes of chocolates , a box of wine gums and 6 gonk / gnome things - he doesn’t do cards for any occasion . I’m jolly happy and being left alone to watch the IPL on TV .

He remembered it was mother's day and wished you a happy mother's day, much nicer than a card I think, someone using actual words..yabu

Single mum here too OP

I have to remind mine and they are 14, 17 and 19! I've been doing this for years - reminding them and making sure they have card and drawing stuff to decorate it with...

I reminded all week then said last night don't forget to make and Nan a card for tomorrow!! Guess when it was done? Last night after I reminded for final time!!

One DD makes it (usually one of the girls, although DS used to make his own cards at primary school) and they all sign the one card or youngest DD signs for everyone and they all give it to me together.

I wouldn't get a card otherwise

I'm resigned to the fact that I have to remind and chase for any card to be done, even for mothers day or my birthday! This year i got bought chocolates after I'd reminded yesterday evening but only as 19 yo went out late to get them.

Ps. I often order my own present on Amazon - giving them the choice of what they want to buy me (from a wish list or they go off list 🤣) .. and it's delivered and given me still in its Amazon packaging.... or if they didn't decide I order my own pressie for me. As I won't be forgotten

So it's fab that your son went out and bought chocs this morning eventually.

I feel your pain OP but gave up on feeling any angst or upset at being forgotten by DCs and make sure they are reminded -by me - to appreciate me!

They mean to ... they just forget to do it in time.....

I wouldn't expect a 12 year old to make a card - that's a bit primary school, unless they are very into crafts. I'd be happy with them saying "Happy Mothers' Day" and showing a bit of consideration during the day.

one of my teens has bought me chocolate and has promised to provide cups of tea on tap; the other is making dinner. I think that's lovely.

My 12-year-old shouted at me this morning because apparently I made her oversleep (I didn't wake her up despite the clocks going forward) and didn't bring out her clothes quickly enough for her to get ready to go to the yard to ride her pony 🙄 (that I'm stupid enough to finance). So I would take just a "happy Mother's Day"

My 12 year old made me a card and bought me a box of chocolates. My adult kids 18 and 21, both living at home, didn't even wish me a happy mother's day. Both out now doing their own thing with friends

I have 3 mid-teens and a 9 yr old (And a Dh to potentially give them a nudge) and I've had just one spoken "Happy Mother's Day" and absolutely zero other acknowledgment. Not a single card etc, let alone any gifts.

Spent the day cleaning. Yay for me.

DH reminded both DS(14) and DD(12) yesterday about Mother’s’ Day.

Neither of them has so much as even mentioned it today, let alone made/got me a card.

We get used to the made at school cards whilst they are in primary, but these exercises are very much driven by the teachers. Is this his first year at secondary?

I wonder if in year 6 they tell the kids: hey up this is the last time you will have mother’s day card organised for you. You’ll need to think of something and do it yourself next year... what might you do?

If not, they could.

I’m not really bothered about mother’s day. Appreciate anything that they do, but happy with a hug.

@XelaM

My 12-year-old shouted at me this morning because apparently I made her oversleep (I didn't wake her up despite the clocks going forward) and didn't bring out her clothes quickly enough for her to get ready to go to the yard to ride her pony 🙄 (that I'm stupid enough to finance). So I would take just a "happy Mother's Day"

I hope she didn't get to go to the yard at all with that attitude!

@Lennon80

I think lots of PPs have posted to say same about their children forgetting or not making effort and how us single mums (& sometimes partnered mums with lazy dads!) have had to remind for our own Mothers Days!!!

Ps mine still make cards into secondary school and almost uni now! Granted it the arty girls who do but I like it 😄 and DS will sign their cards too.

It's been 'oh so many' years since I got one card off of each of my DCs - I'm happier with joint one as it means they are working together.

No card or anything for me. I was told 'happy mothers day' from my 13 and 21 yr old.

Glad he made an effort in the end OP hopefully next year, will only need a little nudge a few days before. I'd be very surprised if it is the norm for secondary school boys to actually make a card, so get your hopes up for that next year.

60% voting YABU!! Why?!

The least he could do is get his mother a card for Mother’s Day, FFS

My ds did this when he was 14, he said, 'It's just commercialised nonsense,' my mum tore him a new one! 😂
He's 22 now and travelled home from Birmingham yesterday to surprise me, turned up on the doorstep at 7:30pm 😭😭😭 They do get more thoughtful as they get older. Hang in there xx

This sort of age is an awkward one I think. Too old for primary school card making but too young to have a job and their own money.

DS is 12 and I put some money in his bank yesterday when he went up town with his mates and asked him to buy me a little something and a card. Had to explicitly state that I’d like something he’s thought about and not just any old thing.

Ended up with a lovely Bodyshop smellies set, he says they spent ages sniffing them all choosing bless them. The card is a bit of a random choice given that it’s not an actual Mother’s Day card but he thought about that too.

If I’d not issued instructions I wouldn’t have had a darn thing.

@BambisMum911

He remembered it was mother's day and wished you a happy mother's day, much nicer than a card I think, someone using actual words..yabu

@BambisMum911

Someone give the boy a medal!! Lol

My kids stopped making cards when they left primary school.

My 13 year old DD didn't make or give me anything, or even say "Happy mother's day". I spent all yesterday telling her she needs to pick up the shocking amount of dirty laundry from her bedroom floor. I finally went it to wake her at noon today to find said laundry still all over the floor.

My 9 year old made me a lovely card at school and also spent the morning drawing a nice picture for me, lovely gesture. She also willingly made a card for her grandma.

Both DDs love arts and crafts.

We went for a walk earlier, and I saw a young boy get off the bus, I'd say he was 10 at the oldest. He was all by himself but was carrying a bunch of flowers, so he'd obviously taken himself off to buy a present for his mum, I thought it was very heart warming.

Single parent mum here with 2dc aged 13 and 16 until lockdown 1 their dad still sorted something for them....then lockdown hit and he had an excuse not to have to see them as much. I now drive them into town a couple of weeks before Mother's Day, my birthday or their siblings birthday and tell them to go buy something with their pocket money (they get £10 week into their bank account) The budget is £10. This year they went over budget and I got slippers, pjs, fluffy socks and chocolates.....I always tell them I would be happy with a nice card and no gift but bless them they say they enjoy doing it (once they have been physically taken to the town to get something)

This wouldn’t bother me. Tweens-Teens are generally self absorbed. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you.

I assume the cards from the 5 year old where made at school?

My 12 year old is autistic and hates anything like Mother’s Day so I don’t expect anything, but if it’s important to you then you need to start “training” him as to what you expdctb

My kids walk past a Card Factory on their way home from school so buy cards there for MD and my birthday (I'm a single mother) . Cheapest cards are as cheap as 29p/69p so I would expect them to remember and they do.

Yanbu to tell your 12yo that a card would have been nice. You make the effort for his birthday so he should make the effort for yours. Has he offered a hot drink or anything like that? When mine were upper primary so not able to go to the shops without me, they made me coffee in bed and let me sleep until 9:30.

I would be annoyed too. My eldest (15) bought me a mum mug and a candle, didn't wrap them and handed them to me (not wrapped) and with no card at 5 past midnight last night so she didn't have to get up to give them to me in the morning! I asked if I was getting a card (she is a good artist and it would take her 5 minutes to draw a flower on a piece of card.) She said no, and then said I owed her a lift because she spent money on me! I pointed out she was being transactional which was not in the spirit of mother's day.... My other kids made me beautiful hand drawn cards. I was happier with them than the unwrapped gifts with no present but tbh I am grateful the eldest bothered to do anything as I get the impression she barely tolerates me most of the time 😢