to be annoyed that friend hasn't even thanked me for buying her dd a Christmas present?

[crapcook]

This friend is the partner of DP's oldest oldest mate. DP and his mate have known each other since they started infant school so they are very fond of each other...almost like brothers.

As a result of this I feel close to him and am fond of him too iykwim. I have also become good mates with his gf who is the one I am moaning about. We had DS in Dec 06 then they had their DD in Aug so we also have that in common.

They live in Manc and we were up there after Christmas for a few days. One night, I was going out with my girl friends for the night and DP was going out with his mates for the night and this friend asked him to pick him up on the way to where they were going out. DP took their dd's present and apparently when they opened it they loved it but were embarrassed that they hadn't bought DS something.

Now I know you shouldn't give someone something and expect something in return but him or his gf (who like I said am quite close to) haven't even called or emailed me to say thank you for it.

I must add, that this wasn't any old tat, it was a really nice present.

Lil - In my previous posts I put in that we don't usually send thank you notes. We are 'close' enough that we don't need to bother with such formalities.

YABU. If they tahanked your DP when theyy were given it then that should be enough.
If we open presents in front of the giver than our family thank in person and no one expects a thank you note either in the post or through e.mail.

I think it's reasonable to want to send thank you cards, and teach children to do the same, but to think less of someone who doesn't for whatever reason, that's unreasonable.

If your DP has already been "thanked" in person, and if there is obvious embarrassment on their part for not giving your dc a present, that should be enough, and if you are all such good friends, let it lie.

You may be disappointed, and maybe you would have acted differently in their shoes, but YABU.

actually crapcook yes I do actually believe it is your fault ecause YOU are the one who decided to buy the little girl a present and YOU are the one who is getting your knickers in a twist because they are not following the same rules regarding follow-up further thank yous that you would follow in this instance

That is not what you put in your previous post Twig.

You posted that I was on a power trip and I had intentionally gone out to embarass them by buying a present.

Regards your last post, I can see why you would think that from an outsiders perspective. I have explained the context of this situation. Our views differ.

Can't be bothered debating about this now.

Thanks for replies everyone.

no I said you were on a power trip now with your insistence on follow-up thank you to initial thank yous .. because you're determining how they should act

I did not say you intentionally went out to embarrass them .. but that unexpected gifts for your children is embarrassing

our views do differ .. quite considerably

I just hope you decide to forget about it in real life and not continue to be 'offended' by it

You put this...

you have already embarrassed them by buying a gift in the first place without discussing it

Do I have to ask my friends if it is okay to get them a gift before I go out and get it? By saying that I was wrong not to discuss it with them first implies that I knew they would be embarrassed when I bought it.

As for your last line, get off your high horse. It isn't very becoming of you.

if you insist on a format of gratitude then yes you should discuss it up front

ROFL at high horse .. yeah right

this is getting a bit over heated now !

"I laughed at the thought of all the idle people watching Eastenders instead of writing thank you cards - how dare they have free time!"

Lol, i didn't say instead of, i said write them while watching Eastenders. How dare they have free time? Well don't say "I don't have time to do it" if you have 'free time' to watch tv!

The person who bought the gift did it in their free time so i'm sure the recipient can use some of their precious free time to say thank you.

'if you insist on a format of gratitude then yes you should discuss it up front'

Are you saying that if my friends and I agreed that I was to buy them a gift then they would feel more inclined to thank me for it? What?

Anyhoooo, just finished amazing 90 minute Ashtanga Yoga class and have been freed of all irks.

OK Sparkles, consider me suitably chastised!