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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my husband is gravely ill at the wrong time?

952 replies

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 26/03/2022 13:12

Masses of confusion.

Husband spoke to GP yesterday morning and described his chest pain. He was advised to call an ambulance. My husband refused because he didn't think he needed one - thought he had chest infection or torn muscle.

He went to A&E - was sat in a corridor from 10.30am - he had ecg, x ray and blood test. He continued to sit on a chair in the corridor all day.

He was told he was waiting for blood test results. These came back at 6pm. Then he had to wait for a CT scan - then rushed to resus.

Dissected aorta from heart level to naval level.

I was called to be allowed to sit with him because I wasn't allowed to be in A&E. Was then told he was being blue lighted to another hospital an hour away for immediate surgery. I asked is this time critical? The answer was - yes life saving.

Paramedics arrived and told me to set off to this other hospital. There were three paramedics. One said 'I'm not taking him because I can't use that bit of kit, I'll lose my job if something goes wrong'. No advanced paramedics available and no doctor available to go in the transfer.

I was 15 min into the journey and then called back to the hospital.

No surgery.

Trying all day today to get him transferred. Nothing available.

He's critically ill.

I'm out of my mind with worry.

There's a saying about not being ill on the weekend. The standard of care is not the same. The 24hr cover appears to not exist.

I feel like we're being fobbed off with poor excuses big style.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
SockFluffInTheBath · 22/04/2022 13:31

I’m so sorry your poor DH is still waiting OP. Please look after yourself and stop carrying everyone else Flowers

PlainJaneEyre · 22/04/2022 14:09

The last time the OP posted was A MONTH AGO!

Christinatherabbit · 22/04/2022 14:10

You must be out of your mind with worry. Try to eat and rest when you can, easier said than done but you need to look after yourself too

Seymour5 · 22/04/2022 14:12

@PlainJaneEyre the OP posted in the early hours of this morning.

Dartsplayer · 22/04/2022 14:35

PlainJaneEyre · 22/04/2022 14:09

The last time the OP posted was A MONTH AGO!

OP posted this morning

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 22/04/2022 14:38

Thinking of you both

impossible · 22/04/2022 14:38

OP you are doing great battling through this nightmare. It sounds as though you have good, supportive family. Take as much pressure off yourself as you possibly can. Am keeping my fingers crossed for you.

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 22/04/2022 14:46

I'm still here.

I've got a bit of a coffee/Easter Egg induced migraine going on at the moment.

We had a gender reveal booked this Sunday - now cancelled. My younger daughter is expecting twins.

Please please please - no 'sex not gender' comments. It is what it is. Sex reveal parties seem a little ....

I have been keeping myself occupied throughout the nights with Netflix and knitting. It stops my mind wandering and helps me to focus on nicer things.

In the last two weeks I have done two hats in pink, two in blue, 4 pr mittens pink, 4pr blue. 1 pr socks pink, 1 pr blue. Just finished a pink cardigan, so starting a blue one.

To think my husband is gravely ill at the wrong time?
OP posts:
EsioTrot · 22/04/2022 14:49

@MyOtherCarIsAPorsche they are so beautiful, what skill you have!

You're doing so well. Keep on keeping on and please do make sure, as previous posters said, that you're getting the medical attention you need if you still feel unwell.

Sending best wishes from my little corner of the world.

EmmaH2022 · 22/04/2022 14:49

Well Porsche those are going to be very stylish babies, thanks to you.

i'm not posting much but hand hold.

TheRealHousewife · 22/04/2022 14:55

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 22/04/2022 14:46

I'm still here.

I've got a bit of a coffee/Easter Egg induced migraine going on at the moment.

We had a gender reveal booked this Sunday - now cancelled. My younger daughter is expecting twins.

Please please please - no 'sex not gender' comments. It is what it is. Sex reveal parties seem a little ....

I have been keeping myself occupied throughout the nights with Netflix and knitting. It stops my mind wandering and helps me to focus on nicer things.

In the last two weeks I have done two hats in pink, two in blue, 4 pr mittens pink, 4pr blue. 1 pr socks pink, 1 pr blue. Just finished a pink cardigan, so starting a blue one.

Beautiful knitting, you’re very talented!

Choppies · 22/04/2022 15:04

I am so sorry to hear about your husband but I can’t honestly believe the required team are sat in the break room or on the golf course fobbing you off. The NHS is in a state of crisis and there just isn’t the staff at any time these days :(

PlainJaneEyre · 22/04/2022 15:05

Apologies - I looked at See All and didn't see there were three pages.

JetTail · 22/04/2022 15:09

Your knitting is incredible! I say that as a child and grandchild of prolific knitters!

LoveSpringDaffs · 22/04/2022 15:31

((HUG))

You must be so overwhelmed & exhausted!!

I can't add anything to the medical side, only just to go as high up as you can to get a senior consultant (higher??) to review the entire situation.

it sounds like you have a close & living family, so I hope you're all able to support each other through this.

Don't neglect your own health issues!!

Keep knitting!!

xx

applesandpears33 · 22/04/2022 15:38

Your handknitted clothes are lovely and will be treasured.

I've nothing to add to everything everyone else has said, but just wanted to let you know there is another person wishing you and your family all the best.

CarryonCovid · 22/04/2022 15:53

Oh goodness OP how frustrating and worrying for you. I used to work in vascular surgery many moons ago and the operation you describe is a huge deal, they need to know they have the ITU/CCU bed afterwards. My uncle has been walking about with an aortic aneurysm for 10 years now, so they can be very stable. I hope it goes well 🍫

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 22/04/2022 16:00

Oh - and my grandson (17 months) who had the fit, he's got an EEG next week and has been measured for a cushiony helmet to protect him as he falls a lot (not walking yet) and still throws himself backwards when sitting. (He's been diagnosed previously with hypotonia but we think possibly more to do with hypermobile joints.). I have four grandchildren - two girls 5yrs and 2yrs, two boys 2 yrs and 1 yr. Three grandchildren were born in 2020. Two boys in 2020 to the same daughter - 10 months apart. We are suspecting that the youngest has epilepsy as he has since had further episodes - mainly at night.

I have just received a tablet device which I'm loading with bits and pieces to drop at the hospital to try to occupy my husband. It probably won't pass the time any quicker but it may distract him a little. His surgeon (🥬) has been to see him and he has apologised for the delay and 'promised' him surgery on Monday.

I actually feel a little brighter now (naratriptan and pain killers kicked in and still have the temporary coffee and chocolate high) and I'm looking forward to producing a blue cardigan by tomorrow. I usually doze off on the sofa about 3/4 am and then I'm up for the children 6/7 am depending on who I'm childminding. I'm having a day off today as my daughter (having twins) is at the hospital (number 3) seeing a heart consultant as she has sinus tachycardia and a right bundle branch block (?) - or something similar. My mum, who is 91 (she had me when she was 35 which was old in those days) and has vascular dementia, has not eaten for three days and is very frail and on some sort of pathway.

So you see - as a family, we have a copious amount of medical problems which are not always visible and rarely diagnosed.

I'm starting to feel that I have aged a lot just lately - I was hoping to be a young, fit grandmother and live in an idyllic heaven with the grandchildren and spoil them rotten, play on the beach until sundown, run them ragged all day so that they are tired out and go to bed without fuss for their hardworking parents.

This whole episode has dragged everyone down I suppose. But hopefully we'll regroup!

I just fear being a miserable let down.

Unfortunately, our warped sense of humour being what it is, we were contemplating the children being 'orphaned' during our chat this morning - we don't have wills. We were laughing and joking about it 😬 my husband was laughing so much a monitor dropped off and two nurses burst in to his room.

I don't half ramble. I'm going now, to drop off the tablet 🥳

OP posts:
SouperNoodle · 22/04/2022 16:10

You and your family all deserve a huge break (and a ridiculously lavish holiday).
I do hope things start improving for you all soon.

Keep on laughing together. It will get you through xxx

Fuzzy303 · 22/04/2022 16:12

gosh, really feel for you OP, you really are going through it. Some of your words have really hit home for me though, I am going to suck all the fun from life as it really really is too easy to get complacent

Honeyroar · 22/04/2022 16:29

I saw this thread when it initially started and hadn’t seen it since. I’m so sorry it’s still ongoing and feel so sorry. No wonder you’re worn out. Thinking of you.

FiloPasty · 22/04/2022 16:51

This is just awful, too much to comprehend, you’re all in my thoughts

Innocenta · 22/04/2022 16:54

@MyOtherCarIsAPorsche I know it must feel like another scary thing, but try not to worry too much about your daughter. Nothing you've mentioned so far about her heart is anything I don't have too (on top of some other stuff), and it's possible for all this to remain stable and monitored for years and years. Of course it's important for it to all be fully checked out and investigated given the family history, but when the issues are first named, that's such a scary time, yet in practice in doesn't mean anything will happen to her.

DentonsFringeArnottsWaistcoat · 22/04/2022 18:50

Goodness, I’ve only just seen this thread, didn’t see it back in March, and so read through all of your updates in one. What a bloody hideous rollercoaster. I want to give you a big hug, you’re sounding remarkably sane, I’m not sure I would in your shoes. I hope you’ve got people near who can look after you Flowers and this might help too Gin

AllOverIt · 22/04/2022 18:57

You sound shattered, OP. Holding it all together for everyone. You're amazing!