To think my husband is gravely ill at the wrong time?

[MyOtherCarIsAPorsche]

Masses of confusion.

Husband spoke to GP yesterday morning and described his chest pain. He was advised to call an ambulance. My husband refused because he didn't think he needed one - thought he had chest infection or torn muscle.

He went to A&E - was sat in a corridor from 10.30am - he had ecg, x ray and blood test. He continued to sit on a chair in the corridor all day.

He was told he was waiting for blood test results. These came back at 6pm. Then he had to wait for a CT scan - then rushed to resus.

Dissected aorta from heart level to naval level.

I was called to be allowed to sit with him because I wasn't allowed to be in A&E. Was then told he was being blue lighted to another hospital an hour away for immediate surgery. I asked is this time critical? The answer was - yes life saving.

Paramedics arrived and told me to set off to this other hospital. There were three paramedics. One said 'I'm not taking him because I can't use that bit of kit, I'll lose my job if something goes wrong'. No advanced paramedics available and no doctor available to go in the transfer.

I was 15 min into the journey and then called back to the hospital.

No surgery.

Trying all day today to get him transferred. Nothing available.

He's critically ill.

I'm out of my mind with worry.

There's a saying about not being ill on the weekend. The standard of care is not the same. The 24hr cover appears to not exist.

I feel like we're being fobbed off with poor excuses big style.

You have the patience of a saint.
Cement mixer!!?
Do keep your single sleeping arrangements it’s much easier to cope with difficulties if you are getting good quality sleep. So you wouldn’t be putting yourself first by insisting on this, you are just ensuring that you can keep functioning as the Lynch pin of your family.
I really hope he doesn’t buy anymore construction equipment, but a hard hat may come in useful if he does, for one of other of you! ;)
:)))

He wants to build a small wall at our daughter's house and he wants an area of concrete with cobbles set in it at the front of our house, just beyond our little wall with railings on top. It's grassed at the moment. Our neighbour has dug up the grass at the front and put a liner down with gravel on top. My husband wants cobblestone. There's a bit of a problem with mowing that area of grass as dogs poop there. We're one of the last properties to get rid of the grass - that's probably why all the dogs are using ours. We live on the main road into our local market town. We used to have privet at the front but that would be full of takeaway rubbish after a weekend and people would steal our milk from the front doorstep on their way home from a night out. It was never stealth stealing as we have a long drive and it takes time to walk up to the front door. We installed cctv - sent evidence of people taking our milk to the police but they didn't do anything about it. We stopped getting milk delivered. (We are about a 10 min walk from the last pub and takeaway. So it's convenient for people to dispose of their rubbish and help themselves to a dink.) We did once get good footage of a vehicle used in a burglary over the road - some people took our neighbour's (retired GP) wine collection from his cellar whilst they were holidaying in Nepal. We didn't hear a thing, even though we have both bedroom windows open all year round. Their milk delivery and newspaper delivery vehicles wake me up all the time.

A cactus plant arrived yesterday and a scotch bonnet chilli plant.

I wonder what's coming today🙄

He was woken twice last night with chest pain and was wondering if it was his rib cage healing. He also said he squeezed a lot of yellow gunge out from the top of his scar - it's quite a lumpy bumpy scar at the base of his neck. 🤢

I'm hoping the gunge isn't the start of sepsis - our son had yellow/green gunge coming out of his hernia scar. He could hardly walk - he was in so much pain. He'd been awake all night pacing up and down because it was too painful to sit. He couldn't sit in the car. The GP refused to come out to see him. So I drove one of our vans to the surgery with him stood up, hanging on to the tool racks, in the back. We got to reception and I went to the front of a very long queue to ask if there was a room free to go inside as he was in so much pain and didn't want to stand around in the main waiting room. Lots of people in the queue were tutting at me. Then a huge gush of the most vile, stinking brown liquid came out of his wound and landed on the carpet tiles. The stench cleared the reception fairly quickly. We were ushered inside a room and he was blue lighted to hospital. He took months to heal - it was September to Christmas.

Rambling ....

His bisoprolol is 1.25 dose - his blood pressure was 97/67 this morning. @olympicsrock It's not keeping very stable at all - it was high last night whilst I was re-watching the previous night's sewing bee.

He doesn't look well 🤔

Hmm - that is a tiny dose of bisoprolol can’t be reduced further.
I don’t like the sound of pus discharging from his wound. Again it’s the kind of thing his team should know about. Infection and synthetic material are a bad combination - like with the hernia repair….

i like the sound of the dogs all poising on your grass even less. I am team DH and the cement mixer now if it means no more dog poo!

Well, @olympicsrock he's on his way to London. He's going in order to watch a rugby match 🙄. He doesn't support either team 🤔

He's gone off his trolley. He booked this literally as soon as he came home three weeks ago. He thought he'd be 'back to normal' - he's so far from it.

He had a 'funny turn' at the doo last weekend.

He's probably incubating sepsis while he's there then.

Oh rotten 'eck! (Something my granny used to say when things went wrong.)

Hope the rugbys fine, one of the teams is where I live, they expect 40,000 of the buggers making a weekend in London for that and playoffs tomorrow !

Is someone sensible going with him ?

@notapizzaeater

He's with his father who is 80 yrs old.

They make a right pair between them. His father had similar surgery about 3 yrs ago.

He's in a taxi an the way to the ground right now after having coffee at Kings Cross.

Oh rotten eck indeed!
I think the only sensible thing to do do now is ignore, drink gin and enjoy the peace and quiet!

@olympicsrock

Not a jot of peace and quiet for me. Or any gin and bitter lemon.

We went to see my mother today - my two daughters and I plus the 4 grandchildren. My mum is so thin - skeletal. She didn't know any of us. It was her 91st birthday. My youngest grandson had two fits whilst we were there. He then had another four back at home.

I'm now at my daughter's house. Her youngest child has had 8 fits in all today. Two of them were in front of consultants. He's in hospital - he's being kept in - they are doing an MRI tomorrow.

My daughter was on the phone with me whilst they took him to the other side of the ward to put a cannula in. His screams were awful - they said they didn't have time to wait for numbing cream.

They are going to give him something to hopefully bring him out of this extended episode of fitting.

So my husband is in London, my daughter and grandson are in hospital and I'm going to spend the night knitting. It's going to be a long one. Her other two children will be so upset when their mum is not there in the morning.

My granddaughter has a birthday party to go to at 10am. I'm not looking forward to that.

I know I won't sleep. I'm at my wits end. That poor little mite with a huge, thick bandage over the cannula and an uncertain future.

Oh @MyOtherCarIsAPorsche you must be exhausted. Maybe the gp could give you something to help you sleep and that would improve your blood pressure.

I hope your husband arrives home in one piece and that the meds stop your grandson’s fitting, poor love. Take care of yourself x

Hope he makes a speedy recovery, absolutely terrifying for you all x

Honestly @MyOtherCarIsAPorsche , I think a psych consult wouldn’t go astray now. He’s not himself, he’s making huge, financial decisions impetuously and doing weird things. (Reading between the lines, I would say that your manner is to normally minimize things, and he’s quite hostile these days.

Sorry - sneezing fit and I hit post accidentally.

I feel very strongly that you need to communicate this to your DD and that your own ticker isn’t in great working order.

So much empathy for you being the orbital point for everyone when there is so much going on. Your poor little GS… At least doctors are onto it.

These are pretty exceptional circumstances. I would be doing special biscuit and hot choc with grandma instead of a birthday party / babycino and cake if it’s not too much effort to get out of the house. It’s ok to cancel things sometimes!! I had a baby this year and we have had to cancel on my eldest attending a couple of parties, that’s life.

I've cleaned the house, washed and dried several loads, folded laundry, hoovered, cleaned, tidied, taken granddaughter to the party, filled my car and been supermarket shopping for things I think my daughter needs for today/tomorrow (there was no bread for breakfast and I'm partial to a slice of toast with lots of butter and a blob of silver shread).

I have a missed call from my daughter - and it's going to voicemail now so I'm worried.

My husband's train leaves Kings Cross at 1pm and should pull into our station about 3pm (fast train).

I have no idea where I am tomorrow with regards to childcare - I was supposed to be at DD2 (expecting twins) but it's looking like I'm going to be needed at DD1 as an emergency.

I have to leave in 20 min to go and pick granddaughter up - she'll be bouncing off the ceiling when she gets back.

At least it's looking like I'm not cooking Sunday lunch.

@Fraaahnces

Yes - I'm hoping he's temporary bonkers. It's our wedding anniversary a week tomorrow - 35 yrs (married at 20 - child bride). I'm concerned about the pus coming from the top of his scar - more this morning. He's never bothered with 'big events' before - he's seemed content to watch on tv. I think he's had a great time this weekend by the sounds of it, although he said he was shattered last night. I sort of admire him in one way, he's really wanting to make the rest of his life 'crack' but on the other hand I know he's taking risks and potentially inconveniencing others because of his folly.

As some have said - he's perhaps assuming that his days are numbered and he could be scared. He could have developed a fatalistic disorder, I don't know yet. He's generally laughing at his own behaviour and he's been quite self deprecating. We've chuckled about others taking advantage of his 'unusual' generosity (people are suggesting he buys all sorts of stuff). Funnily enough, there were no parcels arriving yesterday - possibly because he knew he wouldn't be there to hide them from me before I get home.

One thing I absolutely hate - he's decided he's growing his hair 🤢

It's certainly a different path he's on - I'm really trying very hard to go with the flow. I'm fairly broad minded and tolerant - up to a point. But you never know when the volcano will erupt.

I think it might do a lot of good if you do allow the volcano to erupt at some point.
You have done so well to have kept it in check so far. I couldn’t have managed it!
I do hope you find a little oasis of calm for yourself at some point today. Take care of yourself too as well as everyone else.

Growing his hair sounds ominous, good luck with that OP. Mine's suffering from long covid, which means he feels the need for various strange wiskery arrangements on his face. He thinks it suits him.....it doesn't.

Oh crikey- growing his hair….. perhaps it’s a mid life crisis. perhaps the wardrobe is next!

it really never rains but it pours with you . I’m so sorry to hear about the little one. I’m very glad for your daughters that they have you to help.

I’m on call this weekend again but managing to find a bit of chill time. Thank goodness the covid situation has calmed down . April was hideous!

Love And strength xxxxx

There's another thread on here where the OP's husband grew his hair long during lockdown. She made him go to the hairdressers to have it tidied up, he came back with a bob.

@carbay

Was that a Blackadder bob? 😬

I think that he's going for a young Rod Stewart look (he's blonde)(my husband) which harks back to when he was 13/14 yrs and wore cheesecloths. He normally goes straight over the top with a number two - no toilet puns please, we're talking about clippers. 😳He hasn't paid for a haircut since we got married. He can grow a fair amount of bristle under his chin but he's never managed a 'tache - it doesn't grow there, so he's generally clean shaven. But he has looked like Frank Gallagher/very unshaven a lot lately.

I've had to cancel the last couple of my hairdresser appointments due to extra 'stuff' going on. What little colour I have been left with is way in front of my darker, lengthening roots and I have gone completely white either side of my fringe. These bits used to go very pale blonde in the sunshine when I was little and people used to accuse me of having blonde highlights put in my hair as if it was a crime (which I didn't, we couldn't afford hairdressers, my Aunty Sheila would get the bacon scissors out every so often and give us all a page boy cut as it was the only style she could do).

We'll both have long straggly hair before the year's out. Which reminds me of my son who told his year tutor that his mother and father lived on the streets and he was at home, abandoned, and looking after his two younger sisters. We supposedly had long hair, no teeth and trench foot. The school, of course, believed him and called social services - they turned up promptly, astonished that I had just arrived home from work (school), my husband following closely behind.

I once jokingly told my father that he looked like George Clooney when he inadvertently grew his stubble a little longer than usual. (He'd been in hospital.) He believed me and took it too far and ended up looking like captain bird's eye/feeling he looked like George Clooney.

I've just had a message to say my husband has returned home. I can't wait to get home - I've been going 'full pelt' since last Monday. I'm sat, sitting and I just want to go to sleep. The children aren't interested in resting - otherwise I might have been able to have forty winks.

I'll get on with sorting another load of washing - there's stacks of it.

I'm still at my daughter's house. Her youngest is still in hospital. The lorazepam didn't stop his fits. They are continuing. He's been in hospital now since Saturday evening and we're no further forward with a diagnosis, treatment plan, help/advice to manage his episodes.

I'm absolutely shattered. I don't sleep well at all unless I'm in my own bed. My grandchildren wake up extra early (5.30 am), making it a very long day. They are both missing their mum.

My daughter is also shattered and has had very little sleep at the hospital.

I have had the children, one way or another for 8 consecutive days now. Hardly a minute to myself - but this is extenuating circumstances.

I mistakenly watched a frightening film last night 😬 I watched to the end and felt too scared to go to bed, so I stayed up later than I intended. I was messaging my husband for some sort of human contact but he must've gone to bed.

I'm surrounded by people and I feel lonely 😩

Will you think to start a new thread op? Running out of lines and lots of supporters with you here.

Oh big hugs @MyOtherCarIsAPorsche I’m sor sorry that your DS’s fits are taking so long to get under control, and that you’re pooped and feeling lonely. I’ve just started a new job and while I like it a lot, I’m wondering if I bit off more than I could chew. I’m 50 this year and getting up at 03:30am to get to work on time is killing me. (Never was a morning person, but I have worked shift work for most of my previous careers. Just long ago.) Also the walking… I walked around and around the hospital. My Apple Watch died two hours in after calculating that I had walked 3.7km while pushing a heavy blood collection trolley. I have a deformed leg and hip.

Glad your DH got back safely from his trip but so sorry to hear about your little grandson.

FWIW a neighbour's granddaughter had a succession of bad fits and was diagnosed with epilepsy at a similar age. It was very frightening at the time, but they did bring it under control and meds aside she subsequently lives a pretty normal life.

Fraaahnces
50 is a spring chicken!
Such early starts would not suit many people - you must be fit. I hope your stamina continues to build and it works out for you.
MyOtherCarIsAPorsche I imagine everyone reading this thread are sending you positive thoughts. You have such a lot to deal with I hope it helps to know we admire your ability to cope.