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Original poster

He's angry I'm online dating even though I ended things 3 months ago

66 replies

bananatwain · 24/03/2022 22:02

I ended things with someone 3 months ago. Told him I wasn't ready for a relationship. Was true at the time. My son was settling in to a new nursery and not sleeping. I was recovering from an operation and just not in the right place for a relationship. A lot has changed in 3 months. I am recovered now, my son is sleeping through every night, I'm less tired and decided to start online dating again. I haven't even messaged anyone (not that it matters), I've made an account and am just seeing who is out there (it's dire). Cue the guy I ended things with (who I had only been seeing for 3 months) messaging me with a barrage of messages saying I'm a bitch for telling him I wasn't ready for a relationship and I have screwed him over because he's seen me on online dating. Apparently I couldn't possibly not have been ready for a relationship 3 months ago and be ready now. He even ended with 'if you were ready for a relationship and the fact you weren't ready was why you ended it then why didn't you message me asking to start again rather than go back on online dating?!!!'. I haven't replied yet. Why are people like this? Honestly, some people are unhinged.

OP posts:
Sexnotgender · 24/03/2022 22:05

Well aren’t you glad you didn’t get into a relationship with that tosser?

Good luck on your OLD journey, I met my husband online Smile

Sexnotgender · 24/03/2022 22:05

Oh and don’t reply. Ignore him.

Original poster
bananatwain · 24/03/2022 22:05

@Sexnotgender

Well aren’t you glad you didn’t get into a relationship with that tosser?

Good luck on your OLD journey, I met my husband online Smile

So glad!! Bullet dodged!!
OP posts:
LoganberryJam · 24/03/2022 22:06

You dodged a bullet there OP!

gamerchick · 24/03/2022 22:07

Definitely a lucky escape. What a knob.

Just block him, it's not even worth of a reply.

Ringmaster27 · 24/03/2022 22:09

See the red flags and thank your lucky stars you dodged them!!

Original poster
bananatwain · 24/03/2022 22:10

Just had another text saying he hopes I'm happy with whichever man is mad enough to take on a 30 year old with a child. Bonkers. I think he's lost the plot. Should block but I'm mildly entertained (though slightly concerned) about it all.

OP posts:
Thumpkin · 24/03/2022 22:10

‘That was the main reason, not the only one.’
Block, delete etc.

Onlyforcake · 24/03/2022 22:12

A prince among men eh? Uggh. I'm always impressed when people persevere with OLD, when these experiences are so common. Best of luck Flowers

User112 · 24/03/2022 22:13

Tell him “go back and read your own messages, you’ll know why” and block him.

Sounds awful and you deserve WAYYY better !

User112 · 24/03/2022 22:14

Just read your update. I want to punch him

Original poster
bananatwain · 24/03/2022 22:14

I'm genuinely a nice person, never did anything wrong to him. He was absolutely fine when I ended it. This has come out of nowhere. Just goes to show really that you have no idea what a person is like until you've known them a long time.

OP posts:
Original poster
bananatwain · 24/03/2022 22:15

@User112

Just read your update. I want to punch him
Suddenly I'm not dateable because I have a nearly 4yo. Ooookaaayyy.....
OP posts:
Lurking9to5 · 24/03/2022 22:16

You were entitled to end the ''relationship''!

He thinks you owe it to him to have a relationship with HIM?!

I'd tell him I said I wasn't ready but actually, my intuition was telling me there was something not right.

Original poster
bananatwain · 24/03/2022 22:17

I am definitely going to send one text before I block him I just don't know what yet. Maybe just a smiley face.

OP posts:
Lurking9to5 · 24/03/2022 22:18

@bananatwain

Just had another text saying he hopes I'm happy with whichever man is mad enough to take on a 30 year old with a child. Bonkers. I think he's lost the plot. Should block but I'm mildly entertained (though slightly concerned) about it all.
Well if you're so undateable I wonder why he's so angry you've moved on!

Sounds like he was going to capitalise on what he saw as your low value (having a child) but only abusive types think like this.

Emotionally healthy men are looking for a good connection that feels easy and fun.

Lurking9to5 · 24/03/2022 22:21

And lol at the notion that being thirty with a child is a problem.

You're so young. And having a child already, you're not grappling with any biological clock issues. You're free to take your pick and he knows that.

Original poster
bananatwain · 24/03/2022 22:22

God I hope I sing bump in to him. So glad I never introduced my son to him.

OP posts:
Original poster
bananatwain · 24/03/2022 22:29

Just had another text. Apparently I'm the best thing that ever happened to him. Mental. We were only together three months and saw each other once a week. Never had sex. Never stayed at each others house. Never shared ideas re what we wanted from the relationship. He's nuts.

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 24/03/2022 22:31

Yes. He is nuts. Please block him!

Good luck with the dating; it's a bloody minefield out there.

FridaynightCry · 24/03/2022 22:41

Oh gosh.
Class A nutter l, potential stalker.
Run!
Tell him you're done and wish him the best, but to not contact you again as you dont feel the same and its for thr best that you cut contact. If he keeps pestering you just say its concerning you and if be doesn't stop you'll be forced to report him for haraassment

lottiegarbanzo · 24/03/2022 22:45

I wouldn't reply, he'll see it as encouragement, as you admitting you owe him an explanation. He does sound unhinged and that's not a very safe thing to be, or to be near.

Honeyroar · 24/03/2022 22:51

It would be very tempting to tell him you didn’t like him very much when you were together, and after these messages you like him even less. Then block. But probably better to just block and forget.

Pompom2367 · 24/03/2022 22:56

Lol op send the thumbs up emoji and then block thumbs up always drives people like him mad

whirlygirl · 24/03/2022 22:59

If he knows where you live, I wouldn't goad him. Just perhaps wish him all the best and block.