He's angry I'm online dating even though I ended things 3 months ago

[bananatwain]

I ended things with someone 3 months ago. Told him I wasn't ready for a relationship. Was true at the time. My son was settling in to a new nursery and not sleeping. I was recovering from an operation and just not in the right place for a relationship. A lot has changed in 3 months. I am recovered now, my son is sleeping through every night, I'm less tired and decided to start online dating again. I haven't even messaged anyone (not that it matters), I've made an account and am just seeing who is out there (it's dire). Cue the guy I ended things with (who I had only been seeing for 3 months) messaging me with a barrage of messages saying I'm a bitch for telling him I wasn't ready for a relationship and I have screwed him over because he's seen me on online dating. Apparently I couldn't possibly not have been ready for a relationship 3 months ago and be ready now. He even ended with 'if you were ready for a relationship and the fact you weren't ready was why you ended it then why didn't you message me asking to start again rather than go back on online dating?!!!'. I haven't replied yet. Why are people like this? Honestly, some people are unhinged.

I met one like that on OLD.
I was trying to be polite and let him down gently so I said I realised I wasn't ready for a relationship.

I wasn't ready for one with him because he was pushy and sulked about not being able to see me as often as he wanted, due to my other commitments.
He sent me a barrage of increasingly spiteful emails before I blocked him.
My crime was that I didn't cancel my membership so my profile was still up.....less than a week later.
Six months later I met the man who is now my husband. I was very much ready for a relationship with a proper grown up who understood that relationships in our 40s inevitably come with a bit of baggage. We took our time, smoothed out issues as they arose, accepted that our teenage/young adult children took priority etc.
I'd recommend not responding at all, though I know how tempting it is to tell him all about himself.
Good luck

if you were ready for a relationship and the fact you weren't ready was why you ended it then why didn't you message me asking to start again rather than go back on online dating?!!

"Goodness, I don't know. You are definitely making me regret that decision now. Mm hm.*

Ignore the texts (but keep those received in case he escalates). Block. Don't feed the beastie, he'll keep coming back for more.

You had been dating for 3 months and he doesn’t know where you live?

You had a lucky escape.

Block, ignore any contact.

Be careful dating again, some men are weird and you've a young child to look after.

Imagine that creep stole the spare key when you were together.

Be cautious.

I’d have to reply “Lols, ‘k! Bye’ and thumbs up emoji.

(And I’d leave it one more reply from him before I blocked!)

@AHungryCaterpillar

You had been dating for 3 months and he doesn’t know where you live?

What’s so strange about that? They’ve also never slept together.

Ooh Male rage when they are told no!

It IS unusual to not know where someone lives that you’ve been dating 3 months. So I was asking and yes that is unusual.

Just block. Do not respond. He is an asshole, but is clearly angry at your valid choices which is a bit worrying for the next woman he meets.

@AHungryCaterpillar

It IS unusual to not know where someone lives that you’ve been dating 3 months. So I was asking and yes that is unusual.

I've only ever been to his. I live with another family member who looks after my son when I go out so it has just worked out that way. Don't think that's too weird.

I was only asking as it seemed unusual, but it’s good that he doesn’t, I’m taking it he doesn’t know where you work?

@AHungryCaterpillar

I was only asking as it seemed unusual, but it’s good that he doesn’t, I’m taking it he doesn’t know where you work?

I work from home so no

Ha. What a wanker.

I know it's tempting to be 'entertained' by his messages, but you do really need to block him. He's the sort of person who will see the fact that you haven't blocked him as some sort of signal that you still have feelings for him, and it will get out of hand.

So if he's seen you are online dating, must imply he also is, no?

Double standards?