Or do you really fucking hate this

[suzysays]

Lighthearted/daft one

When someone (Namely DH) catches a big spider in the house then on the way to throw it outside pretends to Chuck it at you.

I hate it, DH always does it and I hate it I lock myself in the bathroom until I know it's gone but even then he's kept it in a glass to show me at times. I'm not a huge wimp don't mind small/medium size spiders and can get rid of them around myself but tonight there was a fucking HUGE spider in the house. I'm talking the size of your palm (maybe light exaggeration but you get the idea) and he as always caught it then stood outside the door teasing me to come out as it had 'gone' while he stood there with the fucker in his hand!!

Eurgh, men are so immature at times haha. Before anyone says LTB he's a fab husband and dad haha.

So aibu to find this annoying

Or

Does anyone else's husbands do this and you hate it!

This is abusive. I'd leave. No kidding.

My DH has become rubbish at getting rid of them now so he got me a spider catcher. I now get them in that and get rid of them myself. I think the cat gets most of them before we see them though.

My Mum loves spiders and used to do it to me as a child. She also threw a massive one at my Dad once who is also scared of them and honestly my phobia is so bad now. I also consider it abusive.

@Firstruleofsoupover

Do spiders do it same way as other species? I watched some ducks today on a duck pond and was glad I was not the female duck. Do the spiders really get on top of one another? What on earth attracts them.

When I was little I caught two doing it. One was on top of the other and I thought it was a tarantula. Genuinely. I called for my mum and one ran one way and the other the other way. I don't think I was really scared of them until that moment.

DH used to do similar years ago thinking I wasn’t really that scared, not really.

Then one night he was meant to help get a huge one off the ceiling but flicked it with a towel as I closed my eyes.

Felt a delicate ‘thud’ on my bare shoulder.

Yes, the spider was now on my shoulder.

My hysterical reaction made it sink in that I was truly scared.

He would never do it now.

Equally I never stay nearby when he’s on spider removal. Live and learn and all that.

🕷 🕷 🕷

Fortunately my DH would never do this as he's even worse with big spiders than I am!

I used to be terrible with them, I couldn't even me in the same room as a big spider, but then years ago, in my first place, I bought one of those little 'bug hoovers' that allows you to harmlessly pick them up and keep them at a distance. And after using it a few times, I began to be OK with having them in the room and just letting them be. These days I've even been know to remove them myself (albeit with a big container more or less thrown on top of them from a distance!) but DH still really hates being around them.

I'd threaten him. You've asked nicely, and enough is enough. If he does it again, he'll be sorry. Don't tell him what you'll do, just that you will seek revenge.

I'd give him a pinch, at the least, though I'd prefer to do something more diabolical and unexpected... A squirt of something wet and slimy (shampoo?) in his slippers, perhaps, or hide something he'll be wanting later in the day (remote, favourite snack or drink).

I don’t know why people do this it is so annoying !

Put conkers in your rooms.
Keeps the spiders away.

I don't actually mind spiders BUT I realise phobias/fears are real. I have a phobia of wasps/bees, I literally go mental when one comes near me and do a stupid dance thing when one dares to fly in my general direction. My DH finds it hilarious but would never deliberately chase me around with one. Phobias are real to the person who suffers but irrational to others. People should respect that and act accordingly.

This is horrendous. I couldn’t live with someone who did that. If my DH sees a spider he tells me to go out of the room and I’m off like a shot while he puts it out.

Tell him to stop it

@Laiste

DH did it once.

My reaction ensured he never did it again.

what did you do?

it makes me sad that some people like to treat other people like this.

I kicked my partner in the knee once when he pretended to throw a spider at me - I didn’t really mean to hurt or strike him, it was just sheer terror on my part. He hasn’t done it since!

It does irritate me though when people make light of phobias. You can’t help the way you are!

My dad once went through to the kitchen to try to shoo out a fly that was annoying us all, got a big raisin from the cupboard came back through and threw it at me. I screamed. Mean but I have to admit it was pretty funny. (I'm not phobic of flies. If it had been a moth otoh...)

@katepilar what did i do?

I screamed blue murder and panicked so badly that i hurt myself trying to get away :(

He saw my genuine phobia in that moment and never did it again.

My dh knows to NEVER EVER do this - he knows it is more than his life’s worth - and he has never done it

@Laniania your comment about the raisin has reminded me of something that happened to a friend of mine back in school days.

She was baking scones with her mum and popped a stray current off the work top in her mouth ...

Do i need to say anything else? She didn't like spiders much even before that ...

Bleugh.

I got over my phobia after a spider dropped on me when I was in the bath. I was on the verge of jumping up and screaming when I saw how panicked it was. I helped it onto the side of the bath and its whole body was shaking. It was the first time I found empathy with a spider.

Now I keep spider relocation kits around the house - clear widemouth beakers and a piece of thin card that is wider than the beaker. It's perfect. The spider doesn't see the clear glass coming and you can catch it and release outside easily. Doing that has ended my fear, I suppose because I feel in control now. I leave the little ones alone, just relocate the big ones.

"He's a fab dad" blah blah blah, (why do people say this? it's like people who say "I'm not racist but", they always are racist) but perhaps not a very nice person?

My OH wouldn’t do that to me. He teases and winds me up relentlessly sometimes, but never about spiders. He gets a bit huffy sometimes (you’ve made eldest DS scared of them, that’s not even a big one, I don’t need to check the bed every night for them) but wouldn’t dream of teasing me with the actual spider. I just sob/scream and freeze, I’m effing petrified of them. Dramatic but I’d of left a long time ago if he did to me what your OH does to you, it’s just cruel.

I wish I hadn’t opened this thread now, about to have a huffy other half come and check the bedroom for them because the thread has made me paranoid 😂🙃

@Pythone

Your partner repeatedly doing something that really frightens you even though (or worse, because) he knows that it frightens you is cruel and unkind. It's not just thoughtlessness. I also hate it - you've made yourself vulnerable by asking them to do this task because you're too scared to do it, and instead of being kind about it, they take the piss and deliberately mock that vulnerability.

This. It’s not about the spider, it’s an abuse of power. It utterly infuriates me that men can’t do things because you prefer it Why aren’t women allowed to have bloody preferences respected even if men don’t understand or share them? How hard is it to do these small things out of kindness, without making a song and dance about it?! Grrrr!

I hate Crane Flies (or Daddy long Legs as I called them as a kiddy). Literally hate them being near me. They give me the heeby jeebies. They’re just flying spiders in my eyes.

An old boyfriend years ago, who was fully aware of my fear, decided to torment me with one he’d caught whilst we were at my parents house.

Kept jokingly pretending to throw it at me.
I warned him I’d smack him one if he did.
My mom warned him I would too.

He ignored the warnings and threw it at me.
My reflexes kicked in and I punched him square in the face and he hit the deck in a daze.

My mom, calmly peeling spuds just said “Told you so”

I have told all boyfriends after that, (including my current partner), this story as a warning. None of them have thrown or pretended to throw, any creepy crawlies at me to date