To feel a bit sorry for this classmate of DDs

[WantToGoButCant]

She’s arranged a birthday party in a few weeks’ time, invited all of the girls from the class (12 girls), and none of them can attend.

She’s an only child so no siblings and from talking to the mum the girls not close with any of her cousins as they’re all either much older or much younger. So the party may get cancelled.

I feel gutted for the girl as she’s only recently joined the class from another school – the class are Year 3 and joined just before Christmas.

I can’t rearrange DDs commitment as she’s with her dad that weekend and it’s up to him to decide what he does, but AIBU to want to do something to show the girl that it’s not that our DC don’t like her it’s just fallen on a very bad weekend?

And if so WWYD for the little girl? She’s turning 8

She just needs to reschedule. I always check the date with DS's closest friends' parents before formalising it and inviting everyone. That way even if nobody else could go DS would still have a great time.

You were “broken” as you read the thread
You would be “heartbroken” if the same happened to your daughter

Op, I think you need some perspective

She sent out an invite for a party on bad weekend. It’s not worked out. She should just say… ok, no problem. I’ll postpone and see about a alternative date asap so as many can join as possible, as I know DD keen to celebrate. I’ll be in touch with a possible date

I think the mums just going to have to find a new date. This happened to me last year as DCs birthday weekend fell in freedom day and everyone had a postponed family event to attend, I just changed it to the following weekend and all but one could make it. No dramas, it was fine.

@Sportsnight

Just message her and say what you’ve said here - this happens to be a terrible weekend because of the scout camp. No need for hand wringing.

quite .... new date could have been sorted by now

Poor little girl...sounds like shes had a hard time of fitting in!?... do none of the parents chat with her parents as it doesnt seem likely thay 12 people all cant attend (maybe they just dont want to)

Thé mum should just suggest the following weekend. Problem solved.
Or you should suggest to the mum that she do this.

You say a lot of them are with their other parent, how shit then that these other parents seemingly don’t facilitate their children’s friendships by enabling them to go to parties on their weekends.

Unless said other parents live hours away there really is no excuse IMO.

Why don’t you sugggest a weekend you can do, and invite her for an activity ‘unless you are thinking of rearranging the party, as this would be s great time for that.’ After checking with several other mums

An individual playdate is a very kind idea- but what does your daughter think? If she's not keen it might just be creating a problem for later.
But I'd be heart broken if it were my son's birthday party.....

@DDivaStar

Sounds like a bad weekend for it, def think the mum should do a different weekend.

This. Poor girl will be so sad otherwise, probably thinking no one likes her.

It's really kind of you to be putting so much thought into this.

This nearly happened with DD's 9th - she'd invited some boys but they all had a big football tournament, several other kids had family functions that day. DH (who gets very worried about this stuff) was convinced this meant we'd not worked hard enought at getting friends for DD and that meant that people weren't prioritising DD socially, but I figured it was just lousy timing. Don't feel bad about it OP, it can't be helped.

We invited some more kids and some friends from out of school and it was fine.

Why don't you message back and say, hey! Not sure how feasible but we're the weekend before or after if you want to do something?

Then maybe a few others will follow

@ waterrat we’re the same. DD recently started a new school in year 3, so this post pulls as my heartstrings. I’ve found it really hard to speak to parents as pick up in KS2 feels quite different to KS1, but DD seems to have settled in well. I have DD’s party invites to give out tomorrow though and this is my fear!

The mum replied and said she's going to speak to the venue/hall and see if it can be moved to after school one day, she was just going to cancel it so she was grateful I let her know that it wasn't personal.

KS2 drop off and pick up is totally different - the children are left at the gates to walk round to their classroom rather than taken to the classroom like in KS1 and pick up your in single file to collect so can't chat.

The whatsapp group is only really used for party invites and confirming none uniform days, it's never really been a group to chat on.

Glad she knows not personal

Must be hard being new to a class and school where all know each other , then to have everyone say no

Well done for telling her it was as many on a weekend away

Maybe the girl can join scouts if so many from class go to it

@WantToGoButCant did this get sorted? Hope something else was arranged for the little girl.

Contact the birthday girl and invite her to a playdate or outing.

Maybe suggest she rearranged to an after school date? She could create a doodle poll with 3 different dates and go with the one that has the most positive responses

Arranging anything in thr school hols is bonkers.
My middle DC is early Sept birthday. I realised thar the best time to have her party was on a Sunday a few weeks into term and send invites out on bookbags the very first day of term.
Mum just needs to come up with a better date, not the birthday itself