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Original poster

People who dont smile at you when you smile

135 replies

PeterandSandy · 24/03/2022 14:40

Most people smile if you smile at them when out.

The other day i did and the person looked away without smiling.

Wonder what that was about?

OP posts:
TibetanTerrah · 24/03/2022 15:47

I smile if the stars are aligned and I happen to be with it and make eye contact. Most of the time I'm distracted and away with the fairies and what my thought process is normally this:

Crap, someone made eye contact.
Crap, they smiled at me.
FUCKING SMILE BACK YOU IDIOT

Too late, they're long gone.

You utter utter fool.

ineedsun · 24/03/2022 15:50

@PeterandSandy
I quite like it and often smile at or say hello to people, but lots of people don’t, they like to just get on with their day without engaging with other people. DH thinks it’s weird because it’s not in his usual pattern of behaviour or character.

Wingedharpy · 24/03/2022 15:53

@bloodywhitecat :
I was about to say something similar.
2 weeks here.
Sorry for your loss.
It truly is like living in the twilight zone.
Smiling at strangers is nowhere near my radar just now.

Notanotherwindow · 24/03/2022 15:53

I don't notice a lot of the time. Too deep in my own head and by the time I register that it's me they're smiling at, they've walked past.

XenoBitch · 24/03/2022 15:56

A random person smiling at me would set off a million anxious thoughts in my head, none of which would lead me to smile.

MedusasBadHairDay · 24/03/2022 15:56

I don't get the posters who are outraged at the thought of smiling at strangers. It's not that unusual, especially on sunny days like it's been today.

Personally I struggle with it because I'm really socially awkward so tend to just avoid making eye contact, I hate that thing where you are walking on a path towards someone and don't want to make eye contact too early in case it looks like you are staring at them.

But it's a nice normal thing to do, and most people do smile back in my experience. I know that personally, even if I'm in an awful mood having a complete stranger extend a friendly gesture to me does lift my mood a little, and I always try to reciprocate.

Obviously no one is obligated to smile back, but I think there's a vast difference between smiling at someone as you pass by and hoping for a smile back, and berating people for not smiling (eg. Cheer up love)

MurmuratingStarling · 24/03/2022 15:58

@PeterandSandy No-one owes you a smile.

HTH.

NowEvenBetter · 24/03/2022 16:06

Stop looking at strangers faces and having expectations of them? Mind your own business?

stripeyflowers · 24/03/2022 16:15

This happened to me on Sunday but I was the person who didn't return the smile.

We were walking along the canal and deep in conversation. It was busy and most people were going past not even giving us a second glance. Then this young man came past and smiled at me as he went past. As I was talking and hadn't really expected it, by the time it registered he had already passed. Being a bit of a people pleaser, yes. I did think 'I bet he thinks I am a right miserable so and so!'

So it can be as simple as that, really.

CrystalCoco · 24/03/2022 16:18

I always think to myself - would you rather be the person that smiles, or the person that didn't smile back

In our neighbourhood most people will smile or say hello as they pass but it wouldn't be the case if we went into the city.

Gilly12345 · 24/03/2022 16:19

Some people are just not friendly.

If someone smiles at me then I smile back it is a nice thing to do.

Perhaps the person was having a bad day?

Not all people are nice people. 😀😀😀😀

AffIt · 24/03/2022 16:19

Is it nice when the stars align, a stranger smiles at you and you smile back? Yes.

Should it be mandatory? No.

Should it be questioned? Also no.

AffIt · 24/03/2022 16:21

@Gilly12345

Some people are just not friendly.

If someone smiles at me then I smile back it is a nice thing to do.

Perhaps the person was having a bad day?

Not all people are nice people. 😀😀😀😀

It isn't necessarily that people aren't nice: it's just that, as PPs have pointed out, other things might be going through their heads that mean that reacting to the facial expressions of strangers isn't top of their list of priorities at that exact moment in time.
SleeplessInEngland · 24/03/2022 16:28

A drip-feed wind-up thread.

whyayepetal · 24/03/2022 16:34

bloodywhitecat and Wingedharpy

So sorry to read of your losses Flowers
Wishing you both every strength - my thoughts are with you both.

OP, there are many reasons why someone may not return your smile, and it’s probably best not to overthink it. Smile at people if you like - no harm in that. I know that I very often don’t properly look at other people walking down the street as I’m usually preoccupied with whatever job I’m going to do/phone call I have to make/making mental shopping list…..and so on.

covilha · 24/03/2022 16:36

Grief

MurmuratingStarling · 24/03/2022 16:41

@Gilly12345

Some people are just not friendly.

If someone smiles at me then I smile back it is a nice thing to do.

Perhaps the person was having a bad day?

Not all people are nice people. 😀😀😀😀

It doesn't mean you're not a nice person, if you don't smile back at some bloody random nobody, staring in your face and grinning at you as you're passing them. Fucking hell! Confused
NannyR · 24/03/2022 16:41

@Gilly12345

Some people are just not friendly.

If someone smiles at me then I smile back it is a nice thing to do.

Perhaps the person was having a bad day?

Not all people are nice people. 😀😀😀😀

I consider myself a "nice" person, I normally say a cheery hello to other walkers when I'm out walking. However, when I was out for a walk the day after my mum died, I wasn't feeling particularly cheerful and when a guy started singing "smile though your heart is breaking" at me, I was gobsmacked. You don't know what's going on in people's heads, don't just assume that people are rude or unfriendly.
WouldYouIfYouCould · 24/03/2022 16:42

I smile back at most people who make the effort to smile at me, but perhaps not if they are a scruffy man in a mac with shifty eyes....

Nomoreusernames1244 · 24/03/2022 16:43

Bad eyesight?

I have hearing issues and quite often don’t hear people say good morning or whatever and continue on my merry way without acknowledgement.

I’ve had quite a few people get arsey and shout stuff like “and good morning to you too” at me- i generally see the body language coming my way and then I can look at their mouths.

Mumoblue · 24/03/2022 16:45

There are loads of reasons they could have not smiled back. It’s weirder to go out with expectations of other people’s faces, IMO.

Honestly, people smiling at me at the street isn’t “nice” to me. I have social anxiety and it makes me feel on-the-spot and watched. I’d much rather people just minded their own business- but I also realise that is a me problem.

Original poster
PeterandSandy · 24/03/2022 16:51

@NowEvenBetter

Stop looking at strangers faces and having expectations of them? Mind your own business?
so you never catch someones eye when your out?

Better to smile if you do than not too.

The world needs smiles.

OP posts:
FabFitFifties · 24/03/2022 16:54

This can't be the first time it's happened OP. My mother made my sister's social anxiety a lot worse by telling her off for not smiling at people. As a result, I get the rage if I hear 'smiler' or 'smile could be worse' type comments. Though I do admit to thinking 'miserable bugger' when my smile is not returned 😳Hypocracy 😂

TroysMammy · 24/03/2022 16:55

When strangers smile at me I always think either what state is my face in? I don't remember smearing food on my face or have I only put make up on one eye? Is it really a smile or is it a pitying look?

PenguinPup · 24/03/2022 16:56

There are probably a million reasons, none of which we know. Could have just been thinking about something else and not registered your smile until it was too late. Why does it bother you so much?

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