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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you see yourself as lucky or unlucky?

102 replies

WeirdArchitecture · 23/03/2022 20:05

I read something (sorry, can't remember where) about studies done on nuns, who, because they shared a similar lifestyle and diet, etc, were observed in terms of health, happiness and so on, and they found a correlation between those who had a positive mindset and a happier, longer life.

Could be they were seeking the answers they wanted Wink but it made me think about how we perceive ourselves - so we feel lucky or unlucky? And does it have any actual effect on our lives.

There are a few things in my own life that cause me a fair bit of stress, and I wonder if my attitude towards them changed first then my outcomes would be different. Like would accepting something you dislike or fear actually assist you in overcoming it, rather than focusing on how much you hate or fear it?

I know that confidence and positivity are well known to boost potential, but I'm thinking here of whether we can affect our own luck depending how we think.
I remember seeing something on the tv back in the 90's where several people were interviewed and asked how they perceived their luck. It did seem that the 'lucky' ones did fare quite well in life.

I'm NOT including loss, disability, famine or anything like that here, just the type of stuff we can generally alter ourselves.

Do you consider yourself lucky or unlucky? And does it have an effect on your life?

OP posts:
Original poster
WeirdArchitecture · 23/03/2022 20:07

I mean, which comes first, the luck itself or the feeling that we are lucky??!!

OP posts:
SandysMam · 23/03/2022 20:32

I am disabled…have kidney failure and am on dialysis but feel lucky there is a treatment that will hopefully keep me alive. I have a mostly positive attitude and it does make the hard times easier. It also makes it easier for other people, let’s face it, no one wants a super drain bringing them down all the time.
I do accept though that there are many many circumstances where it might be impossible to be positive and see the lucky side.

DaisyDeli · 23/03/2022 20:33

I feel very lucky. Some of it is hard work, but I still feel lucky to have been in the position to do that in the first place. I'm treated well (mostly) by people. I'm very happy.

I'm also disabled (Multiple Sclerosis) and have had 2 massive losses recently - I still feel lucky, worse things happen.

MrsSkylerWhite · 23/03/2022 20:33

Very lucky Smile
No idea if it has any effect.

ouch321 · 23/03/2022 20:37

V unlucky
As a result of one thing that has ramifications on everything

ArabellaStrange · 23/03/2022 20:40

Very fucking unlucky but also I do things that fuck me in the arse later on. Self sabotuire extrodinaire...

Bonniekat · 23/03/2022 20:45

I view myself as lucky. I do think that helps my positive mindset and probably attracts ‘more’ luck.

My sister on the other hand views herself as unlucky and bad/unfortunate things always seem to happen to her. She’s got the mindset of if something bad is going to happen, it will happen to her.

Calandor · 23/03/2022 20:56

Yes I'm lucky. Always have been. Life's not perfect but bar a couple of things I generally get what I want/aim for.

Money, achievements etc. Lucky in love and never been rejected for a job. Always had a fair bit of money. People help me a lot for some reason. I also get a lot of free things - free makeup, free holidays, plane and train upgrades etc. I find money on the ground all the time.

It's not because of mindset though. I'm quite negative and cynical. Sabotage myself a fair bit but somehow everything always comes up shining (knock on wood).

Mum says I was born under a lucky star or that somethings looking out for me.

Ohyesiam · 23/03/2022 21:02

I feel lucky definitely.

MargaretThursday · 23/03/2022 21:10

I'd agree with you.

I'm regarded as "lucky" in the family. But I think it's more mindset than anything else. I've told this story to people before.

I was taking ds to an event we'd been to lots of times, and always driven up got tickets on the door and gone in.

One year we were about 5 miles from the event when he hit a queue and chugged along very slowly. Eventually we ground to a halt.
It was hot and I had the window open, and a cyclist coming the other way stopped to have a drink. I called across to him and chatted a bit then asked how long the queue was. He said it was right the way to the event, but it I turned round and took the next left then I'd skip some of the queue.
I was a little sceptical, but took this narrow farm track and hey presto, it brought me out very close to the gate.
Well the queues for tickets must have had well over 1000 people in. I looked and knew we wouldn't get in before it was full, so I said to ds that we'd have our picnic near the gate where we could hear a little, and then go home. He agreed, so we settled down on the grass.
Just as we were starting, a chap came up behind and I smiled and said "hello" and he asked if I was paying by cash or card. I said "card" and he told me to follow him.

So I did, and he started telling me that one of the card machines had stopped working, and he was taking the people from the front of the queue to pay at a different machine.
He took us up to a new machine to pay and the people in the queue for that one became very aggressive that we were pushing in, even after he'd explained.
So he said "oh well" and let us in for free.
As we walked through the gates they announced the place was full and no one else was to get in.

I was telling that to my family and approximately:
Df said: "You really shouldn't have trusted the cyclist, you could have ended up anywhere"
Dm said: "Why didn't you just drive home as soon as you saw the queues?"
Dsis said: "I'd never have settled for just having a picnic and going home I'd have joined the queue."
Dbro said: "I'd wouldn't have gone with the man. He might have robbed you..."
Then in chorus they said "you're always sooooo lucky!"

I maintain it wouldn't have happened to any of them not because I am lucky but because they wouldn't have reacted to circumstance as I did. In fact I don't think they'd have chatted to the cyclist in the first place.

I would say that I'm very good at reacting to a situation and working my way out, rather than being lucky.

I'd also say that I tend to tell this sort of thing with a positive outlook rather than a negative one.
I remember another time as a student there were massive floods and the train I was on was cancelled, couldn't get one going in the right direction even. So ended up on a bus replacement service going in the wrong direction. It took 12 hours on the bus from Coventry through to Banbury, and we got the last train from Banbury before the rails were washed away.
Telling my family I was talking about how we'd got a packet of cereal (we'd just been camping) so were eating the cereal and sharing it with the children behind us, making a game to keep the children happy. How we all cheered the bus driver when we finally arrived, and how the station master got his own pack lunch to give to the children, and made us all teas and coffees at 1am on the station. Didn't get home for nearly a week...
Dbro said: "It's not fair, you always have such fun."

But if him (or dsis) had been telling it, it would have been about the stress of not knowing where they were going, the awfulness of only eating cereal in 12 hours, the dreadful bus and how the bus driver had got lost...
So I told it in a positive way, rather than a negative. It doesn't mean that I had a better experience than them.

SexiestDogWalker · 23/03/2022 21:12

Out of the thousands of eggs your mum had, out of the millions of spent your dad had, and with a 25% chance at best of falling pregnant during a cycle, everything aligned and combined to make you and to bring you into this world, into this life we can't explain, within this universe we don't understand.

The fact that you're you, you're alive at a time where you can reach out across the world from a device you can hold in the world all of your hand- well. It's probably more likely that you'd win the lottery and be struck by lightning on the same day.

We're all very very lucky. Some more than others. Some of us were born into western nations, some born into money, power, fantastic health, impeccable genetics etc.

But we are all alive! That's so lucky.

SexiestDogWalker · 23/03/2022 21:12

*sperm, obvs. Not "spent." Although, haha!

Mackmama · 23/03/2022 21:13

I think it’s possible to be lucky in some areas of your life but not others. I’ve been lucky with family and kids, no fertility problems etc. I’m jammy at work and with things like exams (I always got one more mark than I needed never one less) But I’ve been unlucky with health problems getting cancer when my kids were young, there’s also loads of other health problems in my family, none of which have been caused by lifestyle choices, just bad luck.

Bubblegum22 · 23/03/2022 21:14

I always feel lucky, not saying no bad things havent happened but on the whole, easy jobs, good health (which is the main thing im thankful for), have a good income and savings inthe bank. Other things could be better but Im grateful every day for my life and thank my lucky stars.

SalsaLove · 23/03/2022 21:16

Lucky in that I’ve made a lot of lemonade.

Unlucky in that I was only diagnosed with ADHD later in life.

I feel I haven’t met my full potential and I plan to make up for it.

HerRoyalNotness · 23/03/2022 21:17

Unlucky. I often feel that the universe made a box and said you there, that’s where you’ll stay and no matter how we try to get out of it we can’t. More dreams unrealised I suppose and feeling very stuck in life. Also financially, for example we’ll get a 4K tax return and think yahoo, we’ll put that in savings for a holiday. The following week the a/c will shit itself and the bill will be 4K. True story Hmm

Silverclocks · 23/03/2022 21:21

I think lucky and resilient are the same thing.

If you're resilient, you're less.likely to wallow in bad luck and therefore less likely to feel unlucky and vice versa.

I'm quite a positive person and feel lucky, but I've been made redundant three times and my DH died very young. I've had plenty of bad luck, but still feel that overall I have a good life.

Kanaloa · 23/03/2022 21:25

Lucky. But I had a rough start to life so now I think I’m lucky. I think if someone had a very easy start to life they might not see their luck as much if they were in my situation. I certainly work with people who moan constantly and I sometimes feel like asking if they’ve ever realised they’ve actually got it quite easy. Our job is a relatively good one. And it’s certainly better than the unemployment line.

Nobodyknew · 23/03/2022 21:27

I’m lucky, so lucky sometimes I can’t quite believe my luck. I’ve been through some horrendous things but they’ve led to absolutely amazing things and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I’m incredibly lucky and I’m grateful for it every day.

Kanaloa · 23/03/2022 21:27

@HerRoyalNotness

Unlucky. I often feel that the universe made a box and said you there, that’s where you’ll stay and no matter how we try to get out of it we can’t. More dreams unrealised I suppose and feeling very stuck in life. Also financially, for example we’ll get a 4K tax return and think yahoo, we’ll put that in savings for a holiday. The following week the a/c will shit itself and the bill will be 4K. True story Hmm
I wonder if stuff like this is to do with your perspective though. I would be thinking ‘that’s a bit of luck, usually we couldn’t afford to fix the a/c but now we’ve got that extra money it won’t take anything out of the weekly money!’

To be honest I’d be beside myself to get a 4K tax return or have a/c.

D0lphine · 23/03/2022 21:28

Feel v lucky! Loving family, always had a roof over my head and food in my belly. Access to healthcare and education, travelled, great career. Wonderful partner, own my own home, have my own car. Loving and caring friends.

Nobodyknew · 23/03/2022 21:30

@HerRoyalNotness

Unlucky. I often feel that the universe made a box and said you there, that’s where you’ll stay and no matter how we try to get out of it we can’t. More dreams unrealised I suppose and feeling very stuck in life. Also financially, for example we’ll get a 4K tax return and think yahoo, we’ll put that in savings for a holiday. The following week the a/c will shit itself and the bill will be 4K. True story Hmm
I agree with the previous poster - your example is so lucky! Imagine if you didn’t get the tax return and could afford to fix the AC!
Nobodyknew · 23/03/2022 21:30

*couldn't

Vampirethriller · 23/03/2022 21:32

I'm very, very lucky. I've survived attempted murder, forced prostitution, sepsis twice, necrotising fasciitis, had my daughter after 10 mc, I just got a job after a long time looking. I'm the luckiest person I knowSmile

Imsittinginthekitchensink · 23/03/2022 21:36

Unlucky. I'm the kind of person that people feel sorry for as I seem to have every bit of bad luck that can be thrown at a person and that has pretty much characterised over half of my life. Despite that, I try to feel lucky. On paper though it's mostly been a car crash over the last couple of decades and it can be hard to remain resilient when history tells me my future, despite my hard work and chin up attitude, will probably also be the same.