To ask if you see yourself as lucky or unlucky?

[WeirdArchitecture]

I read something (sorry, can't remember where) about studies done on nuns, who, because they shared a similar lifestyle and diet, etc, were observed in terms of health, happiness and so on, and they found a correlation between those who had a positive mindset and a happier, longer life.

Could be they were seeking the answers they wanted but it made me think about how we perceive ourselves - so we feel lucky or unlucky? And does it have any actual effect on our lives.

There are a few things in my own life that cause me a fair bit of stress, and I wonder if my attitude towards them changed first then my outcomes would be different. Like would accepting something you dislike or fear actually assist you in overcoming it, rather than focusing on how much you hate or fear it?

I know that confidence and positivity are well known to boost potential, but I'm thinking here of whether we can affect our own luck depending how we think.
I remember seeing something on the tv back in the 90's where several people were interviewed and asked how they perceived their luck. It did seem that the 'lucky' ones did fare quite well in life.

I'm NOT including loss, disability, famine or anything like that here, just the type of stuff we can generally alter ourselves.

Do you consider yourself lucky or unlucky? And does it have an effect on your life?

Unlucky.

I think if your bad luck is to grow up in a dysfunctional family then that sets so many templates for how the rest of your life will go. I think in many ways I was doomed due to a poor start. I'm also autistic. I've tried very hard and I keep picking myself up and carrying on but I'm tired of it all now.

Personally, 50/50 I'd say.
I got a job, month later pandemic hit, place closed.
I got a job, month later, car blew up and I couldn't get there anymore.
I book a day away, get a cold day before.
I have a kid, partner fucks off and leaves me on the shit.
So on and so on.

I think though, where luck is concerned, a huge amount of people's.lives are owed to good fortune and they rarely give it the acknowledgement it deserves.
I've argued on here with people that are like,
"I got where I am through hard graft and not luck"
Yeah.. but.. you were lucky to have supportive parents, lucky you had a functioning brain, lucky that your boss picked your CV and not the other person's, lucky you got a partner that turned out well and not a dick head so on so on.

Luck is incredibly important and can make a life or break it.

Pretty lucky. To have been born in the late 20th century, in GB, to parents who took care of me and didn't abuse me, with a healthy body and brain - hit the lottery, really.

I think of that when I start feeling dissatisfied with the minutiae. I may only earn £25k and live in a bog-standard semi, but if you look at all of the horrible situations people have found themselves in throughout history and even now in other parts of the world, I live like a fucking queen. I can eat whatever I want and as much as I want. Clean water comes out of a tap. I have a safe home. If I'm injured or sick I'll be treated free of charge. If I'm attacked or robbed I have recourse to the law.

Yep, pretty lucky.

I feel lucky. But I only realised how lucky I am about 10 years ago in my mid-40s. Until then I believed I was a failure, stupid - despite also knowing that I am intelligent - and socially, physically and in every possible way, clumsy. I certainly never achieved my academic potential.

In my early 40s I had CBT to help me cope with depression and issues to do with neurodiveristy. I began to see myself in a different way.

The first time I thought of myself as lucky was when I realised that throughout my 20s I had placed myself in dangerous situations many times, purely due to my social ignorance and innocence - and no harm had ever come to me.

Once I started thinking about myself in an accepting and positive way, so much else about my life began to feel lucky.

One of the luckiest things about my life is that I learned to feel good about myself. I still am shy and nervous. I still make social gaffs. I still have fears of the unknown and of the future. But I forgive myself and move on. My belief in my luck brings me more luck.

I'm not sure why you're defining this as 'stuff you can alter yourself' - if you can alter it, then it's not really luck imo.

I see myself as lucky, mostly due to things over which I had no control. I was born white, middle class, in a wealthy area of a democratic and relatively safe country, in a kind and supportive family. I am above average intelligence and had a good education, and at the age of 50 have suffered little loss and no hardship or tragedy in my life. I'm happily married with children who do well at school and are pretty easy to parent. I made some good decisions, but it's easy to make good decisions when you have a stable background, good influences and a safety net.

My mother was definitely lucky in some ways - always seemed to find the perfect parking spot etc. but very unlucky in others. I wouldn't say she was any happier or had a more optimistic outlook. She lived to 89.
I do think you make your own luck - not by outlook but by working and being prepared and recognising opportunities and taking them!

I feel lucky

I see myself as lucky living in this country when compared to some people who in my opinion are unlucky simply for being born and living in a country that doesn’t have the resources or freedoms that we have.

I have been unlucky in love but part of that is my own fault. Bad choices. Heart ruling head.

Im 50/50 sometimes it's right timing, other times it's hard work, other times it's being useful in the past, just a mix really

and other times it's oh pickles, then it's learn and hope for the best

Gob-smackingly lucky.

Lucky. Resilient, but lucky. I’ve worked hard but had things easy enough, and have good friends.

My mum & her best friend each have 2 children and have a running joke that they each have one who is lucky & one who is unlucky.

In some ways they are not wrong but in other ways, aren't these things destined to be self fulfilling?

Lucky, my heart has stopped numerous times now have pacemaker plus other health issues I'm grateful, lucky and glad to still be here x

Mostly lucky, I've struggled with mh issues for as long as I can remember and now I think I'm great at trying to see positives and putting things into perspective.

Deeply unlucky.
Chronic illnesses, single, been screwed over many times by people I trusted, no close friends, to name a few.

lucky...

but surely the reasons behind feeling lucky or unlucky would have something to do with the results?!

I view myself as lucky. But it's relative.

I've had bad luck. I was sexually abused as an adolescent. My mum died suddenly when I was 26 and a horrendous birth left me menopausal and unable to have any more children at 32. We're permanently skint despite our best efforts.

But I have the love of people that matter to me. I was lucky to meet my husband (even though he can be a bell end at times!). I was lucky that the tiny bunch of cells I conceived turned out to be my amazing son. I'm lucky to living in a beautiful place that gives me joy (even if the same place means i miss international food and our job prospects are lower).

People who meet me probably think I'm a pessimist. I think I gripe about the small things, but overall, I know life could be a lot worse and am thankful.

I think the threshold for what we see as a good life warps our idea of luck. And that, for the majority of successful people we admire, luck has played more of a role in their success than we or they care to admit.

I'd rather count my blessings than chalk up the ways the universe has wronged me.

So interesting! Luck, resilience, perspective. I think expectations come into play. I think people with high expectations can often feel let down. I prefer to keep expectations low and I'm often left feeling that something turned out better than I'd expected and that's a lovely uplifting feeling. There's a fine line between pessimism and realistic expectations though!

I'm lucky where it matters, in love and family and friendship.
The small stuff isn't important and I don't stress about it.
Car has just failed its MOT, but I realise I'm lucky to have a car and friends who are willing to give me a lift in the meantime.
My DMum is very frail and I know we won't have her for much longer but I'm so lucky to have had her this long.

HerRoyalNotness

Unlucky. I often feel that the universe made a box and said you there, that’s where you’ll stay and no matter how we try to get out of it we can’t. More dreams unrealised I suppose and feeling very stuck in life. Also financially, for example we’ll get a 4K tax return and think yahoo, we’ll put that in savings for a holiday. The following week the a/c will shit itself and the bill will be 4K. True story hmm

See I'd view that as really lucky too! It's all to do with mindset!

I think I'm lucky! Both in the sense of being fortunate in the way my life has turned out, but I also think I'm lucky in card games etc.

I believe that luck is a combination of being open to new experiences, and being prepared for anything that comes along.

People would consider me to be lucky because I have apparently "fallen on my feet" with a great job, lovely husband, and some inherited money. I can't take credit for the latter, but the job and the husband came along when I was prepared to make the jump and open to try something new and different. A positive attitude was at the heart of my luck.

Does anyone worry their luck is going to run out? If you're lucky with lots of small things do you worry your luck will run out for the big things? I've been worrying about that this week! I think I'm using my luck up.

Oh mate, I'm unlucky! Terribly so, to tge point that if something is out of my hands, its gonna go wrong. I do try to make up for it by micro managing everything that is even slightly within my grasp.

I try to be positive, and I try to see the humour in the bad that seems to flow my way.

For example, early November I became too ill to continue working, all ok, I had enough savings to cover my expenses for about 9 months, then DH lost his work, then the dog needed £1500 of treatment, which incidentally wasn't covered by insurance. DD wanted an ipad for Christmas, I thought, I know what I'll do- I'll upgrade her phone contract to an ipad and take out a new sim for her phone, all good- saved myself outlaying £1000+. DD fell over on boxing day and smashed her phone to pieces. Replacement phone cost me over £800. A couple of days later, the boiler broke down, the PlayStation corrupted itself, the car was broken into, and the washing machine broke down with my favourite coat in it.
When u finally got it out of the washing machine which had been a costly fix, DH put it in the tumble dryer and ruined it.

My life feels like it can be a run of continuous bad luck, but I try to see life as an adventure.

I know someone who isn't particularly unlucky who seems think that they are because something not particularly positive happens each few months, and their attitude gets defeatist very quickly. I can see why it makes her feel unlucky, but if she picked herself up a bit quicker to overcome the issue at hand, then I think life would seem brighter