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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Can you be 'too cheap' for kids bday party gifts?

138 replies

Kab3042 · 23/03/2022 11:02

Dd has had 4 party invites from class mates between now and April. 2 are also joint parties with younger pre school or reception age siblings (Dd is year 2 if relevant). So not sure whether I need to get the sibling something too?!

Even with the classmates alone, it's 4 gifts. Potentially 6 if you get the for the siblings. Can you look too cheap?

I'm thinking nice colouring books. Aldi had some nice large colouring books for £1.99 this morning and some pencils or felt tips perhaps? So £3-4 each? Too tight? Home bargains also had colouring books for 90p.

we are struggling financially and have my older sons birthday in a few weeks then Dd's soon amongst everything else we have to pay for too.

OP posts:

LabelMaker · 23/03/2022 11:04

Don't get for the siblings. I think £5 is a decent amount to spend.

PeacefulPrune · 23/03/2022 11:04

You don't need to get the sibling one.
I don't that think £4 is too cheap. All the presents get mixed up anyway and half get forgotten about.

LabelMaker · 23/03/2022 11:05

Ah £3-4 is the total. Yeah that's fine. They'll get loads of stuff anyway.

Lockdowndramaqueen · 23/03/2022 11:06

Give what you feel is right. When my kids have parties we receive a huge range of gifts which I never question. Colouring books sounds like a lovely idea, especially for that age group. Don’t get the siblings presents - maybe your daughter could make them a card?

Tothemoonandbackx · 23/03/2022 11:07

I'd agree, it's not the siblings Birthdays you're invited too, it's her class mates, so I'd only get girls for them. And don't forget, if others are invited, that's alot of presents for one child. So I'd say they colouring books and pens are perfect, any gift is really Xxxx

Mamamia7962 · 23/03/2022 11:09

I wouldn't buy for the siblings, they will have their own friends going who will buy them presents. Up to £5 is fine.

Dixiechickonhols · 23/03/2022 11:09

Sounds fine. I’d just get the boy in his class a present not the sibling.
If you have space a present drawer (with card and wrapping paper ) is good for peak party age. Stock up in sales on things that are good gifts - craft type kits, games etc.

BarbaraofSeville · 23/03/2022 11:11

That sounds lovely. I'm sure that the parents of the DC having parties would be horrified if buying more expensive gifts left you struggling.

Plus if it's a big party, they'll be overwhelmed with lots of bigger gifts and might not have space for them.

The Works is also good for books, colouring books and craft items for not very much.

You could also add a bag of sweets or something. I've got a free bag of Percy Pigs or Colins to pick up from M&S on my Sparks card, so if you have similar, plus I think they're 3 for 3 anyway, you could get all 4 a bag to add to the books and it only cost you £2 if you can get to an M&S.

Longclaw88 · 23/03/2022 11:12

Just buy for the child in the same class as yours, not the sibling. £5 per gift is absolutely fine.

Skyeheather · 23/03/2022 11:13

I'd get a colouring book, a pack of coloured pencils from the £shop and a bag of Haribo (89p in Aldi I think). The siblings will get a gift from the friends they've invited so no need to buy for them. ASDA do birthday cards for 28p and they are quite nice, good quality card and nice designs.

Jmaho · 23/03/2022 11:14

I think that's a lovely gift. I actually bought my youngest one of those colouring books from Aldi last week and she hasn't put it down.
Don't buy for siblings.
Also don't ever feel that your gift isn't enough. I would hate any parent to think they weren't able to attend a party due to not being able to afford a gift

Thursday37 · 23/03/2022 11:14

I do £5 max here (nursery age) so £3-4 is fine but also you could just decline some invites. You don’t have to do them all. You can be “busy”

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 23/03/2022 11:15

The Works has some pretty reasonable stuff in a 2 for £6 offer, or slightly bigger at 2 for £10.

At my DDs recent party gifts ranged from £15-£20 worth (which I was shocked by!) to some sweets. She was equally thrilled with both.

RandomQuest · 23/03/2022 11:15

At least colouring books actually get used! It sounds absolutely fine and no I wouldn’t buy for the siblings.

JudgeRindersMinder · 23/03/2022 11:21

Colouring books and pencils/pens are a great gift-better than what could be a more expensive piece of plastic which will be discarded in 5 minutes, kids can keep going back to colouring books

1000yellowdaisies · 23/03/2022 11:21

I wouldn't buy for the siblings.
Cheap is fine if thats all you can afford but dont be upset when your son gets a load of £3 aldi stuff back in a few weeks time.
I usually spend about £15 to 20 per child for their birthday and i think thats fair given they enjoy the party, there's usually a bouncy castle or activities, food and cake :)

JustFrustrated · 23/03/2022 11:24

My DDs favourite present from her party last year, and actually the only I remember/is still used

Was a homemade gift, the neighbours kids mom made her some bunting for her bedroom, which spelt her name.

Absolutely beautiful and still up now, and EVERYTIME I see it, I smile.

Don't over extend yourself £3-4 is absolutely fine.

HeyItsPickleRick · 23/03/2022 11:25

£5 is fine for a kid. A nice book from The Works might be another option? They always get so much I can't say I notice what people spend.

Thursday37 · 23/03/2022 11:29

@1000yellowdaisies

I wouldn't buy for the siblings. Cheap is fine if thats all you can afford but dont be upset when your son gets a load of £3 aldi stuff back in a few weeks time. I usually spend about £15 to 20 per child for their birthday and i think thats fair given they enjoy the party, there's usually a bouncy castle or activities, food and cake :)

How strange. We live in a very affluent area and yet no-one would spend that here. Are you somewhere that doesn’t share clothes around either and everyone buys new? It’s all hand me downs, home made treats and thriftiness here. Spending money rather frowned upon as vulgar!

mummydoris2006 · 23/03/2022 11:35

I nipped into card factory the other day and they had some lovely books at £1 each. I bought 3 and a bag of haribo for my neighbours little girl for her birthday.

SleepingSausages · 23/03/2022 11:41

I'm always amazed how generous some people are for children they barely know!

If I hardly know the child I do £5-10 and one of the 5 for £1 cards from the card factory. Might spend a bit more if I know the child well.

Could also think about a packet of seeds now spring is here? Can pick up cheaply in the supermarkets.

Also I sometimes pick up 2 for 1 offers from sainsburys. Decent presents for about £7. But £5 max is fine.

Abraxan · 23/03/2022 11:42

@1000yellowdaisies

I wouldn't buy for the siblings. Cheap is fine if thats all you can afford but dont be upset when your son gets a load of £3 aldi stuff back in a few weeks time. I usually spend about £15 to 20 per child for their birthday and i think thats fair given they enjoy the party, there's usually a bouncy castle or activities, food and cake :)

I don't know anyone who ever spends that amount for a school friend's birthday present, even those from affluent families and those at private schools.

All been £5-10 max, the upper amount more for slightly older children.

£15-20 would be for MUCH closer friends.

No one orders a child's birthday gift based on how much the party will be costing the parents!

QuiltedHippo · 23/03/2022 11:43

@1000yellowdaisies

I wouldn't buy for the siblings. Cheap is fine if thats all you can afford but dont be upset when your son gets a load of £3 aldi stuff back in a few weeks time. I usually spend about £15 to 20 per child for their birthday and i think thats fair given they enjoy the party, there's usually a bouncy castle or activities, food and cake :)

£60-£80 when the OP is on a budget is just daft though.

mummymummymummummum · 23/03/2022 11:45

I've had some success buying on multi buy offers from Amazon. A lot round here go for B&M Stores two for £10 toys/games/crafts. I always stock up on cards when I see bargains (Asda was brilliant! We don't have one nearby so I went mad when I was randomly in one a few months back).

Meadmaiden · 23/03/2022 11:45

Spending is usually £5-10 for party gifts, though at a recent party some people clearly spent more. There should be no obligation to spend more than you can afford, and I would rather people came without a gift than didn't attend because they couldn't afford one.

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