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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can you be 'too cheap' for kids bday party gifts?

138 replies

Kab3042 · 23/03/2022 11:02

Dd has had 4 party invites from class mates between now and April. 2 are also joint parties with younger pre school or reception age siblings (Dd is year 2 if relevant). So not sure whether I need to get the sibling something too?!

Even with the classmates alone, it's 4 gifts. Potentially 6 if you get the for the siblings. Can you look too cheap?

I'm thinking nice colouring books. Aldi had some nice large colouring books for £1.99 this morning and some pencils or felt tips perhaps? So £3-4 each? Too tight? Home bargains also had colouring books for 90p.

we are struggling financially and have my older sons birthday in a few weeks then Dd's soon amongst everything else we have to pay for too.

OP posts:
scandihouse · 23/03/2022 12:46

I live in an affluent area and it's the norm to give £5 in a card so I think that's fine. I also wouldn't buy for siblings.

LindaEllen · 23/03/2022 12:52

As others have said, no need to buy for the siblings. They will get a gift on their own birthday.

That amount is fine to spend - just make sure it's something the child will use and not just tat. I'd rather give the child a fiver than spend money on tat.

gingerbiscuits · 23/03/2022 12:53

Ah, I remember those days well!

I definitely wouldn't buy a present for the siblings & a few quid for colouring things sounds perfect.

My present 'go to' used to be a book & a bag of sweets or some colouring/crafty stuff or, if we knew the kids well enough, maybe a supermarket or Matalan t-shirt featuring a favourite character/design etc. - only ever spent a few quid - max. of £5. I used to snap up the odd bargain whenever I saw them & put them away for future presents.

My son's best ever 'school' birthday party present he received was a Captain America cap from Tesco which was about £3 but he loved it!! (Summer birthday!)

pawcontrol · 23/03/2022 12:53

@LimeSupper

We do £10 for presents (reception age so lots of parties) but then there’s wrapping paper and a card too! Occasionally we do spend £15 if it’s a close friend of our DC. We’ve only bought for siblings if we’re friends of the family and so they invite our younger DC along too. They’ve invited both of ours so we buy for both of theirs.
This, I would say is more normal. Although it can still end up being £12 as sometimes I struggle with £10. Yes you can buy something, but think of the child and what they like then it's better than loads of cheapy craft gifts. Especially as some aren't into crafts.
robocracker · 23/03/2022 12:57

I age been known to regift items....

I don't think the price matters as long as you actually think they will use it. So colouring books are great as long as they're not that awful rough paper.

I often used to buy books from the works, Poundland, home bargains etc. you can't go wrong with books!

Eventually there'll bevies parties and you'll get to know their favourite friends and you'll be able to buy something they really like!

robocracker · 23/03/2022 12:58

@robocracker

I age been known to regift items....

I don't think the price matters as long as you actually think they will use it. So colouring books are great as long as they're not that awful rough paper.

I often used to buy books from the works, Poundland, home bargains etc. you can't go wrong with books!

Eventually there'll bevies parties and you'll get to know their favourite friends and you'll be able to buy something they really like!

*Be less
TheYearOfSmallThings · 23/03/2022 12:58

You still have birthday parties where you live? How terribly vulgar. Where I am we knit a balloon and pass on the fun from a pre loved party.

GrinGrinGrin

Caspianberg · 23/03/2022 13:03

As someone hosting toddler first little party soon, I really don’t expect people to bring anything. They are invited to join in a little celebration, eat cake and Ds have fun with friends.
A token gift maximum.
A colouring book is ideal as they get used up

crosstalk · 23/03/2022 13:04

What about - don't bring a present bring 50p?

Into a hidden box so people don't know.

£15 for a party of 30 would mean the child could choose.

pawcontrol · 23/03/2022 13:17

Toddler gifts are different to school age children. Toddlers will go through things like crayons or packs of pens. They are easier to buy a cheap playdoh set for because most will enjoy it.

You have but what you can afford but still make it thoughtful.

If the child is school age but into animals an animal colouring book is fine, if they are passionately into cars not so much.

Original poster
Kab3042 · 23/03/2022 13:19

@1000yellowdaisies

I wouldn't buy for the siblings. Cheap is fine if thats all you can afford but dont be upset when your son gets a load of £3 aldi stuff back in a few weeks time. I usually spend about £15 to 20 per child for their birthday and i think thats fair given they enjoy the party, there's usually a bouncy castle or activities, food and cake :)
My son is autistic and is not invited to parties let alone able to have his own.

Dd is the one going to parties. She would be delighted with a colouring book as colouring and drawing is her absolute favourite thing.

£20 each would mean £80 for four gifts in the space of 3 weeks. I just couldn't do that right now.

If it was DD's closer friends, I would spend more but the parties are kids she's not really friends with and they've invited the whole class! ☺️

OP posts:
ZenNudist · 23/03/2022 13:19

I'd save your money on colouring books. They are a waste if time for my dc.

Original poster
Kab3042 · 23/03/2022 13:21

To add, I also buy a pack of 10 generic cards from b&m or similar to cut back on card costs! I used to buy a single age specific card each time but ended up costing loads! ☺️

OP posts:
Original poster
Kab3042 · 23/03/2022 13:23

@ZenNudist

I'd save your money on colouring books. They are a waste if time for my dc.
They would be for my oldest too. He loathes colouring but with Dd drawing and colouring is her thing at the minute, constantly drawing but I'm not sure if kids her age are the same or not!
OP posts:
Caspianberg · 23/03/2022 13:24

And for future, sales are good places to stick up. I saw Lego recently which was the £15-20 boxes, reduced to £6 as ‘last years models’. Didn’t think, but should have bought a few to put away.

londonrach · 23/03/2022 13:26

Totally ok. I'm shocked how rude 1001yellow by her comment. I'd much rather a £3 present to a £15 present. Op a colouring book is perfect although an empty pretty notebook (Poundland sells them) and a fluffy or unicorn pen or stickers (Poundland again or tiger) and you make my five year DD vvvvvv happy. Honestly the best presents don't cost much x

londonrach · 23/03/2022 13:27

Card factory sells 10 cards for £1. They perfect for class parties

DockOTheBay · 23/03/2022 13:28

@1000yellowdaisies

I wouldn't buy for the siblings. Cheap is fine if thats all you can afford but dont be upset when your son gets a load of £3 aldi stuff back in a few weeks time. I usually spend about £15 to 20 per child for their birthday and i think thats fair given they enjoy the party, there's usually a bouncy castle or activities, food and cake :)
I think you will be in a minority spending that amount. I would spend up to £15 on my daughters best friend (she has one very best friend who shes known for her whole life). Otherwise its £5 or so, maybe £7 if I see something they'll really like.
Goldbar · 23/03/2022 13:30

I think up to £5 is fine.

I usually ask the parents what the child would like, as most people have limited space for large plastic junk (and 30 presents is a lot!). I've been asked for playdoh (if you shop around, you can get little packs with a toy for £4-6), particular books in a series the child is collecting and for stickers.

When I'm asked, I suggest things around the £3-5 mark which are consumable - so a treat for my DC which I wouldn't normally buy but they don't hang arond the house Grin. My favourite gifts for DC to receive are jellibaff, bath bombs, sticker and maze books and baking kits.

Here's a few things we've given/received recently which have been popular:
www.amazon.co.uk/Mini-Butterfly-Childrens-Assorted-Colour/dp/B01DQV246M?tag=mumsnetforu03-21
groceries.asda.com/product/baking-mixes-kits/dr-oetker-spectacular-science-squashable-jelly-bubbles-cupcake-mix/1000226920861
www.amazon.co.uk/Zimpli-Kids-Special-Childrens-Friendly/dp/B08CJ66S8R?th=1&ref_=ast_sto_dp&tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Goldbar · 23/03/2022 13:32

I would prefer not to receive any more colouring pens for my DC though Confused! We already have a whole box full of art and craft supplies.

RoseGoldEagle · 23/03/2022 13:36

Cheap is fine if thats all you can afford but dont be upset when your son gets a load of £3 aldi stuff back in a few weeks time.

I think this is a horrible take on it. I’d think a colouring book was a absolutely perfect from a classmate. I usually spend £5-£10 on children I don’t know that well, and I’d still do that no matter what they bought my children.

GalesThisMorning · 23/03/2022 13:37

We recently hosted a whole class party. I would have been horrified if anyone felt obligated to spend more than they could afford! I have never in 20 years of parenting seen presents in the £15-20 range, unless for close family friends. That isn't expected. I was just so pleased that so many children joined us in making my son's birthday fun and special, that is worth more than toys.

Personally, I would like to find a way to normalise giving secondhand gifts at these kinds of parties, but I am not brave enough to start that trend!

Goldbar · 23/03/2022 13:41

Personally, I would like to find a way to normalise giving secondhand gifts at these kinds of parties, but I am not brave enough to start that trend!

I agree. It's such a waste, not to mention that having to deal with 30 gifts out of one party is a PITA.

We also cut costs by making birthday cards here. I bought a pack of blank cards and envelopes from the Works and DC decorates those for friends' birthdays rather than buying a pre-printed birthday card.

SushiGo · 23/03/2022 13:46

At this stage, hardly anyone was buying £15 presents- and £20 would have been noticeably a lot. £5 is usual I think - with less for younger children. We only spent £3-4 because that was what we could afford.

You can still get lovely things for £4. I used to buy from character.com - grab a few things with popular characters on in the sale then dish them out when the right child came up. A £4 spiderman back pack is absolutely a winner!

Porkmore · 23/03/2022 13:47

79p glow in the dark space stickers
70p haribo

Get yourself to home bargins!