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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To try and get the new neighbours on side?

78 replies

LockDownAndTwoSmokingBarrels · 22/03/2022 17:40

We live in a detached house down a private driveway shared with two other houses. Our house is at the end of the drive meaning we have to pass the other two houses to get in and out.

The house nearest to us (House A) we don’t get on with. Many arguments in the past - parking wars, Christmas lights, Hole in the bush, lockdown parties, barking dog etc etc

The house next to them (House B) we used to get on very well with, in fact we were friends but they were also friends with house A and attended their lockdown parties so it was hard to complain without falling out with house B too. Anyway, House B moved out.

It’s been a few months now that the house has been empty but we’re starting to see signs of the new neighbours moving in. It sold ages ago and now the same couple keep appearing on the driveway - unfortunately I’ve seen them liaising with House A … house A are already getting their claws into them and I’ve seen them pointing at my house and laughing. I don’t want them turning the new owners of B against us telling them a load of shite.

AIBU to put a note through their door for when they move in introducing ourselves and then maybe taking around a welcome basket when they actually move in?

OP posts:
Marmelace · 22/03/2022 17:43

So you are going to pretend to welcome them by manipulating them into becoming part of your stupid strife with other neighbours? How utterly awful!

Waxonwaxoff0 · 22/03/2022 17:45

YABU. Be polite but don't drag your new neighbours into your arguments! The poor people just moved in.

Violetmo0n · 22/03/2022 17:47

Neighbours are neighbours.
Not everyone has to be friends.
Just say hello when passing.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 22/03/2022 17:48

Also if you're those type of people that took it upon yourselves to police your neighbours during lockdown then I'm on the side of House A. Busybody behaviour.

AllOfUsAreDead · 22/03/2022 17:49

You got upset over Christmas lights? Why?

Original poster
LockDownAndTwoSmokingBarrels · 22/03/2022 17:50

@Waxonwaxoff0

Also if you're those type of people that took it upon yourselves to police your neighbours during lockdown then I'm on the side of House A. Busybody behaviour.
Try working 13 hour shifts on a Covid ward and coming home to find your furloughed neighbours partying in their front garden - laughing and joking as you drive past
OP posts:
Marmelace · 22/03/2022 17:50

@Waxonwaxoff0

Also if you're those type of people that took it upon yourselves to police your neighbours during lockdown then I'm on the side of House A. Busybody behaviour.
The fact the op wants to take a gift around to get the boot in first says everything too. No wonder the neighbours are not happy with her.
Original poster
LockDownAndTwoSmokingBarrels · 22/03/2022 17:51

@AllOfUsAreDead

You got upset over Christmas lights? Why?
Because they were flashing into my bedroom window ALL NIGHT every night from end of November until middle of January
OP posts:
Marmelace · 22/03/2022 17:52

Sorry, you still sound awful. Were they not allowed to act happy because you'd had a long day at work?

AvonCallingBarksdale · 22/03/2022 17:54

Need to know more about the Christmas lights - theirs or yours?
Surely it must be a bit hideous being at odds with neighbours when there’s only three houses? Wouldn’t it be easier to bury the hatchet - use the new arrivals as a reason to have everyone round for drinks?

Marmelace · 22/03/2022 17:54

I suspect you look for things to be upset about, hence watching their interaction with the new neighbours and plotting to do some manipulating.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 22/03/2022 17:55

@LockDownAndTwoSmokingBarrels you have no idea what I did during lockdown.

MalbecandToast · 22/03/2022 17:56

God, your one of those neighbours Hmm

YellowAndGreenToBeSeen · 22/03/2022 17:57

You’re never going to like the Bad Neighbours (and tbf, I’m glad I don’t live next door to them) but trying to ‘get people on side’ is a bit off.

Go round, welcome them, take a bottle of wine and let them get to know you on their own terms, not as a way of point scoring. That way only madness (and losing) lies.

SNUG2022 · 22/03/2022 18:07

Definitely do it op! Take wine and cake and be really chilled, helpful and friendly.

godmum56 · 22/03/2022 18:09

One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was not to get over invested in socialising with neighbours. You are never going to get along with house A and new neighbours are going to make their own minds up. Say hello, be polite but don't try and drag them into neighbour wars.

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 22/03/2022 18:15

If it's anything like the issues I had with my utter cunt of a neighbour before I moved, it's not that you're looking for issues as people are suggesting, but that it causes anxiety knowing that there's something else coming for you to have to put up with. The laughing and pointing will only exacerbate this and I can see why you're keen to greet the new neighbours and show you're not the twat your neighbour will have tried to paint you as.

It's worth trying to speak to them or dropping a note through the door, but be careful of mentioning the other neighbour - best not to mention them at all and just be friendly.

I currently live in a similar layout/private shared driveway and everyone seems to have a gripe about one of the other neighbours. I wish we'd not moved here as everyone seems to need to gossip about someone and you do end up being dragged into it.

SevenWaystoLeave · 22/03/2022 18:17

Try working 13 hour shifts on a Covid ward and coming home to find your furloughed neighbours partying in their front garden - laughing and joking as you drive past

Sorry, what's so terrible about this? I recognise working on a covid ward is hard but does that mean no one else is allowed to have any fun?

GinPalace2 · 22/03/2022 18:20

Best trick I’ve heard to stop the Christmas lights is a mirror reflecting them directly back into their bedroom.

Dentistlakes · 22/03/2022 18:21

Don’t get involved op. The new neighbours will make up their own minds. If I moved somewhere and my neighbours ridiculed other people on the street I would give them a wide birth. I hate people who bad mouth others. I’ll make my own mind up thanks!

I would just be pleasant and ignore the inconsiderate assholes next door. They sound awful.

Lavenderlid · 22/03/2022 18:27

@SevenWaystoLeave

Try working 13 hour shifts on a Covid ward and coming home to find your furloughed neighbours partying in their front garden - laughing and joking as you drive past

Sorry, what's so terrible about this? I recognise working on a covid ward is hard but does that mean no one else is allowed to have any fun?

Presumably because it was during lockdown and they were breaking the regulations at the time, and possibly adding to the number of cases the OP had to deal with at work!
Dentistlakes · 22/03/2022 18:36

@SevenWaystoLeave

Try working 13 hour shifts on a Covid ward and coming home to find your furloughed neighbours partying in their front garden - laughing and joking as you drive past

Sorry, what's so terrible about this? I recognise working on a covid ward is hard but does that mean no one else is allowed to have any fun?

I guess it depends if it was against the law at the time. I would be pissed off if I had spent hours working with covid patients to come home and see my neighbours partying with no regard to the rules.
AllOfUsAreDead · 22/03/2022 18:45

Because they were flashing into my bedroom window ALL NIGHT every night from end of November until middle of January

So.. Close your curtains? You can get black out ones, that would stop the light coming in.

BeautifulGreenEyes · 22/03/2022 19:02

Wow what a horrible petty neighbourhood. I imagine the new neighbours will put their house back on the market, as soon as they're legally able to.

@LockDownAndTwoSmokingBarrels You and the neighbours you're fighting with sound as bad as each other. I pity the new neighbours. My 10 y.o. niece is more mature and sensible than you all sound.

Riapia · 22/03/2022 19:11

Hole in the bush
If they tampered with the hole in your bush I’m not surprised you’re upset OP. 😁😁
Sorry.😁