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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if you have ever blanked someone to their face

123 replies

AllWeekendattheKitKatClub · 22/03/2022 14:37

To ask: have you ever blanked anyone to their face when they've said hello to you and if so, why? AIBU to think that's rude in any circumstance?

A woman my DH used to know from a hobby did this to me after we walked past each other. I smiled and said hello to her but she just stared at me.

OP posts:

Calandor · 22/03/2022 17:52

Not on purpose

AngelinaFibres · 22/03/2022 17:52

@RincewindsHat

Yes, but unintentionally. Did it to my boss once in Pret. I sometimes (often if I am honest) have trouble recognising people out of context. I know it comes off as rude and probably a little hostile but I am genuinely just blanking on trying to place people and if they aren't stopping for a chat, just saying hi as they walk past, my brain does not always work fast enough for me to respond appropriately.

My husband has face blindness so he is like this a lot. On the plus side he says hello to random strangers who are not who he thinks they are.

InsufficientOven · 22/03/2022 17:56

My mum does it because she just doesn't notice. She's not trying to be rude, she's just usually in a world of her own.

Calandor · 22/03/2022 18:05

Tbh it sounds like she didn't know who you were

quitefranklyabsurd · 22/03/2022 18:06

I have. I’m ridiculously short sighted and if my eyes are sore I take my glasses of. My children could walk past within a foot or so and I wouldn’t have a clue.

CatCuddler999 · 22/03/2022 18:14

I ignored my stepdad.

I had left home and told him I wanted nothing more to do with him following years of violence and criticism.

Was walking along one day and he was walking directly towards me with my sister smiling. They stopped to talk to me and I just spoke to her as if he wasn’t there. He was staring at me the whole time and I completely blanked him.

I KNOW I wasn’t wrong in that instance.

LemonDrizzles · 22/03/2022 18:19

I did.

I was at something for dh and bumped into an old work colleague unexpectedly. Once my mind put 2 and 2 together, I recognized her. But, oddly, I can remember seeing her and not recognising her.

It happened recently so I still remember the incident as an odd phenomenon

ChampagneLassie · 22/03/2022 18:22

As others have said I really wouldn't think of it as about you - doesn't sound like it was someone close but a very loose acquaintance. The more people you know the harder it becomes to keep track of who they are - 2 people said hello to me this morning as I was out and about - I said hello back, can't for life of me remember who they were.

Clarabe1 · 22/03/2022 19:01

I would never do it intentionally but I do tend to go into a bit of a trance when I have things on my mind so it’s a possibility. .Otherwise I am a typical northerner in that I have to say a cheery hello when walking past people. I hate myself but sometimes I even comment on the weather. I can’t help it.

HappyDays40 · 22/03/2022 19:09

I've not outwardly blanked someone but I must admit I avoid people I don't want to speak to. I think unless there is some major reason it's pretty rude to just stare someone down and blank them. I I catch the eye of someone I know but don't want to talk to in particular I just keep things minimal.

teleskopregel · 22/03/2022 19:18

I blank certain people all the time. On purpose. I make unsmiling eye contact and hold it, and then move on. My DC was one of several children who were victims of sexual abuse and there were a group of people who attempted to bury it. At first, I had no idea how to react when I saw one of them and would avoid all contact completely, to the point where I felt anxious even going to the supermarket. It was ingrained in me that I had to have some polite interaction, but my DC's pysch said I didn't have to acknowledge them at all. So I don't. Some still attempt a friendly greeting, but what DC went through and how terribly we as a family were treated firms my backbone every time.

Etinoxaurus · 22/03/2022 19:22

Not knowingly. I did have a nice friendly chat with a stranger about the weather and my heavy bags the other week. It was only the next day when a colleague of five years referred to it I realised I’d been talking to him🤦🏻‍♀️💁🏻‍♀️
I did laugh in the face of a pompous teacher once, that was joyous and I’m pleased I had the presence of mind to react authentically rather than nod politely.

Haveatakeaway · 22/03/2022 19:53

Yes recently a man smiled at me a few times and I then of course had to keep checking back to see if he was looking again because it felt odd, then he actually came over and said hello and it clicked that I knew him and his girlfriend (not well but we've chatted a few times) but because she wasn't there I honestly didn't recognise him

Zillamop · 22/03/2022 20:07

Not intentionally, no.

I've been blanked sometimes and find it hurtful. I don't have any idea what the 'reasons' are.

Userg1234 · 22/03/2022 20:07

My grandmother did it to me! Deliberately blanked me even when her daughter said look it's userg. I had just met her for the first time aged 17 just a week before. It was 2 months after my mum had died.
She was a strange woman which is why my dad, her son was nc.

I laughed at her

statetrooperstacey · 22/03/2022 20:15

I have and it was glorious, sometimes I think of it when I’m going to sleep and it gives me a little warm glow. She had all her mates with her and they all noticed and she looked like I’d slapped her . Tbh it was better than slapping her.
Especially as she’d been massively loudly over the top with her “STACEY!!!! HELLOOO! HOW ARE YOU ? YOU ALLRIGHT??!! So they all stopped and stared . Fucking glorious. Bitch.

WarmSausageTea · 22/03/2022 20:15

I’ve done the opposite. Walking past someone I recognised, I couldn’t think why, but I’m terrible at recognising people out of context, and I’d been working all over the country. Anyway, I smiled and said hello; they smiled and said hello back.

Two minutes later, I realised it was Daniel Craig. In my defence, he’d been announced as the new James Bond a few weeks earlier, so he wasn’t quite as A list famous as he is now.

Also, he looked really good.

Whatthebarnacles · 22/03/2022 20:57

I do this all the time. I say unintentionally, but in reality I purposely pay zero attention to anyone around me in public, so I guess you could intentionally.

I always had such paranoia. I felt like everyone would look at me and judge me and I'd be a 'head down' person all the time.

I've worked hard on being able to walk around with my head held high, not worried that people might see my muffin top and look at it, or judge why my eyebrows aren't perfect or notice that my roots need doing.

The downside is, it appears that I look through people. Luckily the people who know me, know me well enough to practically shout my name even if there 3ft from my face. It kind of zones me back in that way! They probably think it's because I'm just oblivious, tbf. Only my husband knows how much I hate scenarios in public and how hard it is for me to pretend like I don't care and just enjoy the walk etc.

One place I love in the UK is London. Not one person gives a jot about the next. Can genuinely walk the street without feeling like everyone is looking at you. My absolute bliss!

So, yes I have.
Intentionally yet unintentionally.

See, I'm weird😅

Brainfogmcfogface · 22/03/2022 21:49

Yep, people I’ve cut contact with but still see from time to time, I stare straight through them, they no longer exist to me, and I couldn’t give a fuck if they find it rude, once I’ve made the decision to end the relationship, I’m not going to be fake and make small talk, I’ve no interest in speaking with them even in passing.

SingingSands · 22/03/2022 22:31

Not intentionally, but I did once get a text from another school mum who asked if I was upset with her because I'd blanked her in the playground at pick up.

I was mortified! I apologised and told her I was really preoccupied (I was really stressed about work) and also wasn't wearing my glasses!

I felt really bad about it but honestly had no idea at the time.

RedHelenB · 23/03/2022 06:33

Apparently I have. And luckily my neighbour ( who I'd blanked) asked me if she'd some something to upset me. No, I was just in a workd of my own and hadn't even noticed her.

hdjdjehhdhdvsv · 23/03/2022 07:09

I saw a girl who was horrid to me in a shop once. We were both older, too old for it to really matter but she stopped me and said "Hi oh my god how are you?" In that high pitched, aren't I so sweet kind of way. I just said no and walked around her. The look on her face was priceless!

Another time when I'd not long finished school, 2 next level evil bullies who were absolutely horrible le to anyone not in their little clique started shouting at me from across the road. "oh look its higshsjs hello hsusjshs how are you hausjsjs" in a nasty bully way, laughing trying to intimidated me.
I was with my new boyfriend and his friends. Well they asked why i was blanking them and I told them so they started shouting back for me. It was glorious and they scarpered pretty quick. if I ever have an argument with my boyfriend (who om still with years later) I think back to that moment where he stood up for me even if it was against a couple of girls and just feel so happy. Noone ever has, they thought they run the school. Well you met me outside of school bitches!

hdjdjehhdhdvsv · 23/03/2022 07:10

Oh and I've unintentionally blanked millions. I am very in my own world and miss the traditional English half smile, or nod almost every time.

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