Page 3 | To ask if you have ever blanked someone to their face

Gonnagetgoing · 22/03/2022 15:39

I did this apparently once with someone I used to know well. I didn't recognise him as he'd aged so much and we were now working in the same building. I had to rush off so had no idea I'd done this.

A couple of days later this man is in the same queue (to enter an office) and he turns to me in the queue next to him and says "hi Gonna, why did you blank me the other day?" Me: "Oh hi L, I didn't recognise you long time no see eh, must be a few years? How's H and the family?" Him: "You saw me the other day and blanked me, you know you did" Me: "Honestly L, I did not see you, if I did it wasn't intentional, I just didn't recognise you and was rushing to work after queuing here!" Him: "".

The thing was - I'd actually sort of fallen out (but not directly) with a few people after my best friend had died unexpectedly - last time I'd seen him was at a drinks/memorial gathering for her - and her funeral had been before that. These people weren't my friends anymore and I certainly didn't really want to stay friends - it was another time and place scenario.

TheOrigRights · 22/03/2022 15:39

No, but I was blanked by my neighbour the other day.
We've had a bit of a falling out. She said her bit, but then shut me down every time I opened my mouth. "I don't want to talk about it".
I got upset and walked off in tears.
Next time I saw her she blanked me.

She has also fallen out with another neighbour, which comforts me a bit, as I don't think it's me who's at fault.

HollowTalk · 22/03/2022 15:40

@Bellex

I took my brother to A&E over Christmas and there was a lady from my yoga class and I did intentionally blank her.

She was clearly looking for me to say Hello first and if I’m honest I just couldn’t be bothered with small talk considering we were in A&E. She’s also really annoying in general

That was very rude though. There would've been no harm in just saying hello to her.

Gonnagetgoing · 22/03/2022 15:41

In answer to your question OP - yes it's rude but if you don't recognise/acknowledge/lost in thought then easily done.

I used to do this when I was in my early 20s apparently - people would say "oh Gonna I saw you the other day, you blanked me" - in the street this was - I mean how the F am I supposed to know they're passing me?! I can't recognise everyone.

TheHatInTheCat · 22/03/2022 15:42

Yes an ex work colleague made a malicious report about me then was still nice to my face. I would look at her like a piece of shit if she ever tried to talk to me and walk off.
A school mum would sometimes say hi and sometimes ignore me. Couldn’t be arsed with that crap so I ignored her all the time.

WeCouldBeSpearows · 22/03/2022 15:42

I have.

I don't care if you think I was rude. It was someone I had known for years. At the time my daughter was about 8 years old. He had just been through the court for molesting a ten year old girl.

So yes, when he said hello, I blanked him, and I haven't spoken to him since.

ButtOutBobsMum · 22/03/2022 15:44

Yes. A good friends abusive ex-husband. I was so happy for her when she finally left him after all the years of suffering at his hands.

I've seen him several times since at social events as we still have mutual friends. He's one of those guys who acts like he's this really great guy and is the life and soul of the party. He always singles me out and makes a big show of trying to say hello. He even tried to hug me once!! I tend to just look him up and down, give him a look of pure contempt and turn my back on him. If anyone asks why I always say "if you knew what I know about him, you'd do the same!"

Total scum of the earth and I want nothing to do with him

SevenWaystoLeave · 22/03/2022 15:47

Perhaps she didn't recognise you? Or was in a world of her own and not really paying attention? I've never deliberately blanked someone but I've definitely done both those things.

Original poster

AllWeekendattheKitKatClub · 22/03/2022 15:48

@Changechangychange

A woman my DH used to know from a hobby

She clearly had absolutely no idea who you were. That isn’t “blanking”. Blanking would be if your sister or your best friend pretended not to know you, or your ex’s new girlfriend refused to acknowledge you when you went to collect your children.

This is “have you ever had a stranger say hello to you, and if so, did you have the presence of mind to say hello back, or did you just look surprised and stare at them wondering if you knew them?”

DH had been walking next to me when she was in the distance coming from the opposite direction. He veered off with the dog but I remained on the path.

OP posts:

LowlandLucky · 22/03/2022 15:48

Was the sun in her eyes ? I have walked past people i know because the sun is in my eyes, it is so low in the winter i can't see a thing.

girlmom21 · 22/03/2022 15:50

Bit weird that he veered off before you got to her, but close enough that she knew he was there, and then she chose to ignore you...

Maybe she thought you'd sent him away so he couldn't talk to her.

Kittykat93 · 22/03/2022 15:51

@WeCouldBeSpearows

I have.

I don't care if you think I was rude. It was someone I had known for years. At the time my daughter was about 8 years old. He had just been through the court for molesting a ten year old girl.

So yes, when he said hello, I blanked him, and I haven't spoken to him since.

I doubt op is talking about this kind of situation though?

SpookyMargot · 22/03/2022 15:51

@WeCouldBeSpearows

I have.

I don't care if you think I was rude. It was someone I had known for years. At the time my daughter was about 8 years old. He had just been through the court for molesting a ten year old girl.

So yes, when he said hello, I blanked him, and I haven't spoken to him since.

I can assure you that no one would think you rude for blanking a child molester.

Original poster

AllWeekendattheKitKatClub · 22/03/2022 15:52

@girlmom21

Bit weird that he veered off before you got to her, but close enough that she knew he was there, and then she chose to ignore you...

Maybe she thought you'd sent him away so he couldn't talk to her.

Oh. Didnt think of that.

OP posts:

maddy68 · 22/03/2022 15:56

My husband does this all the time. If he doesn't have his glasses on he just can't see anything. He's not being rude just can't see it's embarrassing

SirenSays · 22/03/2022 15:57

Yes, I regularly do this as part of my grey rock method for some of DHs family.

I'm also blind as a bat so have often only just spotted people by the time they think I'm completely rude and giving me dirty looks for ignoring them.

ZaraSizeMedium · 22/03/2022 15:58

Yes, my SIL.

After 20 years of tolerating her lying, shit stirring, nastiness, snide remarks and yet another episode where she was openly nasty to my DH but FIL told DH he must not challenge her behaviour, he must “be the bigger man”, “it’s just how she is”, “I don’t want you upsetting her, she’s fragile”, I have decided that I refuse to avoid and therefore miss out on family gatherings when she’s there, so I will, and do, act like she doesn’t exist.

caringcarer · 22/03/2022 16:00

I have done it once to my cousin. I found out as executor he had managed to get my Aunt's will changed after her death. I still got the same but another of my cousines' was taken out of inheriting a ring.

SVRT19674 · 22/03/2022 16:01

Yes, to my ex-uncle. Walked straight past him and his OW, after he had had numerous affairs and topped it by having a kid with a coworker and then at the divorce hearing took a photo of the kid and waived it in my aunt´s face and said "this is something I have and you will never have" (she was the wrong end of 40s). She was childless because he refused to have children. I don´t know what circumstances you are referring to, but I don´t really give a fuck it is considered rude. Fully justified and proud of it.

CanYouRowRow · 22/03/2022 16:02

Sometimes I don't recognise someone until they've walked past me and then it's sort of too late for me to say hello 😬

girlmom21 · 22/03/2022 16:02

@SVRT19674

Yes, to my ex-uncle. Walked straight past him and his OW, after he had had numerous affairs and topped it by having a kid with a coworker and then at the divorce hearing took a photo of the kid and waived it in my aunt´s face and said "this is something I have and you will never have" (she was the wrong end of 40s). She was childless because he refused to have children. I don´t know what circumstances you are referring to, but I don´t really give a fuck it is considered rude. Fully justified and proud of it.

Can you share a picture of the prick so we can all blank him if we ever cross his path too? What an absolute bastard.

Snuggleworm · 22/03/2022 16:05

Yes I did it inteniontally to my BIL ALL the time. Well when I have to be in the same company as him. He is an absolute evil horrible f*cker who tried to ruin our wedding, our honeymoon, has thrown a mobile phone at my head, a cup of hot coffee at me. Said my daughter was not part of the family ( in a family group chat that she was part of) as she is not my husbands child ( we are thogether since she has been 6 and she is now 18) And that is just the tip iof the iceberg.

Then he tries to speak to me or say hello at family events with a big fake smile on his face while everyone else is around so yes I blank him, just stare straight through him. In fact, he is lucky I don't speak to him because God knows what I might say :) I stay quiet for my husbands sake.

stimpyyouidiot · 22/03/2022 16:06

Yes. I was once posting something for my dad through his door. His wife, the OW (who befriended then broke up the family in the most dramatic awful way) then drove on to the driveway while I was doing it. Pretended she didn't exist.

I'd never do it to anyone else though!

Imperfectp3rf3ction · 22/03/2022 16:06

I've also done it for reasons

If I've forgot my glasses I can't make out people beyond a metre.
I'm pissed off about something then it registered they said hi and it was too late to go back.
If someone has annoyed me.

MordredsOrrery · 22/03/2022 16:12

Unfortunately, I apparently do this regularly. I just don't notice people - don't see their faces or realise they mean me if they're speaking/gesturing. I've even walked straight past DH without noticing. It's not personal and I'm mortified if/when it's pointed out.