To ask how to make DD eat?

[NotMakingItABattle]

DD is 7.

She had covid in January and ended up in hospital with it.

Since then she flat out refuses to eat. Anything at all apart from crisps, sweets and chocolate.

She’s lost enough weight that if she doesn’t eat soon she’ll end up with a feeding tube.

She’s had counselling and the counsellor thought it was attention seeking rather than a huge issue. She got a lot of attention in hospital when she refused to eat and so they offered her yogurt or whatever she deemed to eat that day so now she says she’s not hungry or doesn’t like it to try and get us to give her what she wants.

I’ve temporarily banned all sweets, crisps and chocolate until she eats but she still tries it on refuses to put anything in her mouth claiming she doesn’t like it or she’s not hungry. I found a stash of sweets under her bed last week that she’s clearly been sneaking in and eating at night – she’s now in my room where I can monitor her.

I’m offering to make any foods she will eat as often as she wants until she’s back to herself but she still mostly refuses. I am at the point of saying “fine have the tube then” but I know it’ll hurt her and may make her even worse with food.

Other than practically force feeding her is there anything else I can do before we reach tube feeding point?

School are also open to suggestions as she’s also refusing to drink there and they’re at the point of saying they can’t meet her needs if she doesn’t improve.

She’s very stubborn so things have to be her idea rather than mine or schools. She’s also very hypermobile and plays on that as she knows it gets her out of doing things like sport – her physio has said it’s common in children because they realise the condition gets them extra attention so they don’t want to get better because of it. She’s also suspected dyslexic and dyspraxic – has processing and memory issues alongside these.

So anything I can try? I don’t want to make food into a battle.

Before she had covid she was a good eater, bit reluctant with vegetables but could be persuaded to eat them. Always loved fruit, pasta and most meats though. She’s also very sensory, loves heavy blankets and cuddles so I suspect a little bit of sensory processing going on to.

Think this is probably above Mumsnet's pay grade to be honest. You say she has had counselling - if it's so bad she's at risk of ending up on a feeding tube, do you have any other mental health/medical professionals involved?

@SevenWaystoLeave

Think this is probably above Mumsnet's pay grade to be honest. You say she has had counselling - if it's so bad she's at risk of ending up on a feeding tube, do you have any other mental health/medical professionals involved?

@SevenWaystoLeave She's on the list for CAMHS but it'll be a wait, I had to pay for the counselling privately but I can't afford anymore.

This isn't exactly the same symptoms but my DD has recently been diagnosed with ARFID which is a food avoidance disorder.

She was referred through our GP to the Eating Disorder Team through CAMHS.
This was because she was hiding food, she also was so underweight it was verging on dangerous.
They didn't believe she had anorexia, it wasn't about her wanting to lose weight, I'm fact she hates being so slim, she just was never hungry or felt sick.

She is older than your daughter and I wonder if that's why they jumped on it a bit sooner.
How is your GP, do you think they could refer you to a Consultant who can in turn refer you to an Eating Disorder teams, you may get seen quicker.

Arfid is a relatively new thing so there isn't lots of information on it but definitely worth looking into.

I know how worrying it is when your child refuses to eat..it has aged me!!!

Was her sense of taste affected by COVID and if so, is it back to normal?

@Porcupineintherough

Was her sense of taste affected by COVID and if so, is it back to normal?

@Porcupineintherough Yes it was she said everything tasted of nothing even water which usually tastes of nothing but this was extra nothingness.

In hospital they just gave her whatever she would eat, so if it was yogurt she could have a yogurt or just a banana she'd have a banana.

She didn't eat sweets or anything when she had covid as she said they tasted of nothing so I assume her taste has returned to almost normal.

When did a GP or other doctor last see your dd?

A 7 year old child who is refusing to ingest enough that a school is saying that they may not be able to meet her needs is surely a medical priority.

@FramptonRose

This isn't exactly the same symptoms but my DD has recently been diagnosed with ARFID which is a food avoidance disorder.

She was referred through our GP to the Eating Disorder Team through CAMHS.
This was because she was hiding food, she also was so underweight it was verging on dangerous.
They didn't believe she had anorexia, it wasn't about her wanting to lose weight, I'm fact she hates being so slim, she just was never hungry or felt sick.

She is older than your daughter and I wonder if that's why they jumped on it a bit sooner.
How is your GP, do you think they could refer you to a Consultant who can in turn refer you to an Eating Disorder teams, you may get seen quicker.

Arfid is a relatively new thing so there isn't lots of information on it but definitely worth looking into.

I know how worrying it is when your child refuses to eat..it has aged me!!!

GP is ok but referrals seem to take ages, will discuss with them again though to see if it's something they can help with.

@Twitterwhooooo

When did a GP or other doctor last see your dd?

A 7 year old child who is refusing to ingest enough that a school is saying that they may not be able to meet her needs is surely a medical priority.

@Twitterwhooooo a few weeks ago but she had a cold/throat virus thing so they said to leave it a few more weeks. I'll get on to them again tomorrow.

I suppose you've tried the bribery of letting her have what she wants after she's had a few bites of something else...I'm with a pp in that this is above my my experience but I hope someone comes along soon with advice that makes a difference

A GP needs to set eyes on your GP, do basic ops and organise bloods etc.

Sorry, I meant your dd.

I would try to get her seen in person again.

Have you tried getting her involved with baking or cooking so food becomes more her idea? Pizza that she can add toppings to make her own picture? She chooses something to make, that you do together. It's then attention and her choice. Then leave it out for her to eat when she's ready

@Susu49

I suppose you've tried the bribery of letting her have what she wants after she's had a few bites of something else...I'm with a pp in that this is above my my experience but I hope someone comes along soon with advice that makes a difference

@Susu49 Yes she just shrugs and says she's not bothered.

Will get onto GP again tomorrow.

It's not just about referrals, it's also about keeping an eye on her physical health. If she's almost at stage of needing a feeding tube she needs medical monitoring. A relative has regular check ups including bloods, they are particularly concerned about keeping an on their heart.

Would she be interested in 'conducting an experiment' just to see how her sense of taste has returned for a variety of different food groups?

As she doesn't get hungry any more you explain there's no pressure to eat the things, just to chew for a couple of moments and spit them out. Make it loads of fun with lots of attention for her seeing which tastes she can spot. And of course you make the most marvellously delicious things known to man to remind her of what she loved before. No idea if it would work but it's the sort of thing I'd try with my kids, like the 'close your eyes and guess which colour pepper' game.

If previously a good eater...I would put meals she likes in front of her and leave it for 30 minutes. After that remove it. For every meal. If there are no alternatives ( like the sweets you found) then you should get somewhere .....

I have two ARFID children and 1 not...we did this with her!

She just thought she could be picky like her brothers !!9

@Rodion

Would she be interested in 'conducting an experiment' just to see how her sense of taste has returned for a variety of different food groups?

As she doesn't get hungry any more you explain there's no pressure to eat the things, just to chew for a couple of moments and spit them out. Make it loads of fun with lots of attention for her seeing which tastes she can spot. And of course you make the most marvellously delicious things known to man to remind her of what she loved before. No idea if it would work but it's the sort of thing I'd try with my kids, like the 'close your eyes and guess which colour pepper' game.

@Rodion That's a good idea alongside the health check from the GP thank you

I LOVED food, after Covid I can't:

Drink coffee, anything sparkling, plain water

Eat: curry in a sauce, anything tomato based steak, breakfast in any form

Just can't do it, don't underestimate the covid effect

Sorry meant to say I am completely not bothered about food and eating ready made mash with bisto and salt. Not a great diet!

I wouldn't wait for CAMHS referral which could take weeks. You can self refer to your local Eating Disorder team - usually called EDICT. I don't want to alarm you but if she's not drinking and dangerously low in weight any re-feeding should be done with medical supervision as it can be very dangerous. EDICT will tell your GP exactly what bloods should be done. Don't let your GP fob you off.

Could she be feeling pressured to eat. Have you tried leaving a little plate of a few bits and leaving her to it. I definitely would t have any sweets in the house Does she drink milk ?

Give her the sweets, chocolate whatever just to get the calories into her for now until you get to the GP again and ask for an urgent referral. If it’s any consolation, my 2 year old only ate wotsits and Cheerios for a year, the consultant said, keep giving her eat, it’s grub!

She needs GP monitoring at least. If the wait list for CAMHS is long is there an eating disorder pathway in your area? Do look into ARFID also. In the meantime any calories, even from treats are better than none.

Could you try making bread with her? Fun to make, smells delicious but is also quite plain and easy to eat.

I really don’t have any medical knowledge which I feel you should to give advice about something like this. But I had a thought as to whether something like Paediasure drinks would be helpful? I know they have chocolate flavour so maybe she’d drink those, and at least she’d be having some calories and nutrients? Just a thought.