To resent DCs homework

[letsgoflyakite123]

Reading - of course. Maybe even some spellings and timestables. But DC seem to be set things like writing up a science experiment complete with diagram, oak academy lessons. I just think it is too much and really resent the time it intrudes on family life.
Dc1 (11) struggles with school work so needs lots of help and it takes ages. DC2 (7) excels with her school work and is so keen to do well it takes ages. So it's hard to do after school and ends up taking over the weekend.
Does anyone else feel the same? And if it is just me how do you fit it all in alongside seeing family and friends, DCs activities and just relaxing.

Good habits and all that.

In Finland, which offers very high standards of education, homework is minimal, and non-existent at the primary stage. It sounds as if your children would be better off following that policy.*

The only thing about references to finland is it's a totally different system & culture. At primary average class sizes are under 20! Finland culturally is all about levelling, so by and large there is less expectation that more able children will be challenged, in favour of prioritising support for the less able. This results in a higher median level, but possibly at the expense of the more able achieving their potential. Also finland used to top international tales and doesnt now - many critics feel that the oft lauded relaxed attitude is behind current attainment and the former high scores actually reflected older teaching methods.

I hated the first school weekly spelling tests all that time so they could get mid scores and never remember the spelling after the test or use in actual work. It was worse as frequently there wasn't any ryhme or reason to the lists.

Then at home I'd be trying to go through actual programs teaching them to spell.

The second primary used nessy in school - and we were free of the weekly spelling tests and it was a huge relief for all of us.

So personally one of the first things to go would have been weekly spelling tests and I'd have found other ways to show parental interest in their school work.

At my dd school they have changed homework. They used to have an awful grid where the child chose the task but there was so much variance and almost all needed quite a bit of parental input.
Now they are supposed to read daily, then once a week they are set a maths exercise and an English one. Dd usually does it on her own and I check it over. They are supposed to do tt rockstars but this is counterproductive for dd as she does a few games then spends more time changing her character accessories than anything else!

@SpikyJugs

It doesn't take that long. Are you basically saying you can't be arsed helping your DCs with their homework?

First post shows such ignorance.

Both my twins (and my older stepson) are dyslexic. Homework can take a long time. There’s only me to do it, as DH is also dyslexic and I can’t trust him to get it right.

It’s quite clear from your post you’ve never had to try and gently cajole a sobbing child after 45 minutes to just try one or two questions.

Anyway - speak to your school @letsgoflyakite123. I did, and they basically said that if in ten minutes it’s doesn’t look like it’s going to happen, then don’t force it. They don’t want to make a child associate being upset with learning.

My youngest child by comparison is very able btw and whizzes through homework - he does it even though I would support him not doing it.

If you think there is too much homework, or it is not of the right focus, or indeed would be more difficult for say low income families to do, have you not raised this with the school? Perhaps via a parent governor?

Schools are dammed if they do, damned if they don’t. I’ve talked to our HT and several class teachers about homework, because I think it’s ridiculous, certainly below y5/6. I will ensure we do reading, tables etc every night and if my child wants to make a Norman castle out of spaghetti or design a poster about healthy eating then I will provide the materials and some time. But I’m not standing over them and I’m not doing it for them. Usually the Norman castle or the poster doesn’t get made. School seems happy enough with that.

Trouble is there is a vocal subset of parents who actively want more homework, complain there’s not enough work set, ask for extension tasks, want to know why they aren’t set holiday projects…. I’ve seen them at parents meetings.

School can’t win.

Just do it in a set time frame... eg 3 days/ week 1 hour each child with your support
What gets done in this time is fine and enough... they obviously can do more without support, but it's down to the DC.

Hm. Primary teacher here. Spellings, reading and times tables is definitely enough in primary. In Year 6, we provide SATs revision books for Maths, Reading and SPaG, but they do not require any 'creative' effort; only answering questions on a dotted line, printed in a book.
My DC sound just like yours! I really feel for your DC1. My DC1, same age, is similarly challenged by homework, as a result of dyslexia which really impacts their processing ability and working memory. DC1 has some support in class and definitely needs support with home work. I have contacted all tutors and explained this, saying that differentiated home work would be welcome but failing that, they are to expect partially completed (as in DC1 does what they feel capable of) or heavily scaffolded and scribed by me. They have all responded favourably and DC1 now receives a mixture of differentiated by task or differentiated by outcome / expectation home work. Much happier atmosphere. Meanwhile, DC2 could happily do homework all night...

@ChiefWiggumsBoy thanks for your post. Your experience sounds similar to mine with the upset etc. It's interesting the teacher said not to persist if they get upset. Can I ask how old they are? I agree with this really but with DC1 heading into secondary I worry that if I take this approach it will cause problems next year. (Though tbh me forcing them to do it currently despite the upset is causing its own set of problems.).

@Theyellowflamingo I do agree re the teachers being damned if they do or don't. This certainly isn't meant to have a go at teachers - just frustrated at the expectation of work out of school. It must create so much extra work for the teachers too. Though one of my DC hasn't had any homework marked since January! 😆

I have found my people! Total waste of time most weeks. Mine do three hobbies each after school and then music lessons in school too. We do loads with them outside school so no shortage of ‘cultural capital’. Between after school club and hobbies/sports, weekday evenings are busy enough and so Sunday morning has become the dreaded homework time. Google classroom is my nemesis but the school insist on using it, DC can’t always access material themselves, sometimes additional paper worksheets are sent home too, sometimes not, and this is on top of Spelling Shed, Times Table Rockstars, Purple Mash… I went to school in the 80s/90s and we didn’t have homework until secondary. Didn’t do me any harm! So long as you read with them, all will be well!

Ah - and forgot to mention the million PTA contests and competitions and decorate a wooden spoon type events. DC don’t want to miss out and so there’s another project or 7 for parents. It’s just too much when both parents work full time!

@EveSix that's very interesting to hear how you've managed the homework for your DC. I think I will keep that in mind for secondary as I can forsee problems with this ahead. Definitely good to take this proactive approach as I am worried about DC getting into trouble at secondary for not doing work or us spending hours and hours on which would be hugely detrimental to their mental health (and mine!).

Homework feels like the teachers way of making kids catch up on lessons they can’t fulfil.

My son is at a secondary that thinks it’s rather above itself, consequently grades are it’s obsession, so naturally 10 pieces of homework in one day isn’t unusual.

My daughter is at a more creative inclined school and homework is less stringent.

Either way, nearly all kids if not supervised by parents will Google answers to homework, considering most homework is smartphone App based nowadays.

Yes, too much homework does impact family time, but then so does my shiftwork job.
However . There’s 13 weeks of school holidays, particularly the summer holidays, where there’s no homework set at all. Can always use this to catch up on quality family time.

@SpikyJugs

It doesn't take that long. Are you basically saying you can't be arsed helping your DCs with their homework?

How the hell do you know it doesn't take that long?

And of course now you won't come back to the thread. Post and run.

I went to a school that, at eleven years old, set an hour and a half a night, rising to three hours by the time you were sixteen. Every day. Much more at the weekend.

I resented it then, and I resent it now.

If an employer did that - gave you half day’s work to get through every evening - you’d tell them where to stick it.

I don’t think it’s a fair or effective system.

It's dc's homework not mine. I refuse to sit for ages helping ours do work, I will help if they are stuck but they need to do it independently.

@SpikyJugs

It doesn't take that long. Are you basically saying you can't be arsed helping your DCs with their homework?

How did you manage to reach that conclusion from the OP!!

@Fabtasticfanatic

Both DCs homework is pointless - I don't see any benefit to doing it at primary other than to test which parents are interested and which aren't. The kids don't gain anything from it.

Clearly you fall into the uninterested category. If children are encouraged to do homework at a young age then when they are older and homework is a part of their exam preperations it won't come as such a shock.

I started state primary school in 1959. There was no homework whatsoever in the whole seven years I spent there.
We all knew up to our twelve times tables by the age of seven. By the time I was ten, we were doing algebra, geometry, and starting trigonometry. We could all read fluently by the end of reception class.
Our time at home was spent playing in the streets, woods and fields, learning independence, getting fresh air and exercise, and learning how to interact with our peers.
Why can’t modern primary schools cover the same curriculum during the school day, leaving children free to play at weekends?

@alienslove

I think as long as you read, i'd forget the rest, it's really not worth it if they aren't happy. Happiness and family is much more important

Another who thinks reading is the only socially acceptable skill, heaven forbid if one's child isn't on the highest level. I used to be amazed at the number of people who would laughingly brag that their child was hopeless at Maths but would be mortified if the same child had reading problems.

I'm a teacher and I wish homework wasn't a thing. It takes a lot of admin to plan meaningful tasks that don't feel pointless, communicate them with home on various online platforms, check completion, track how often it's not being done etc.

In an ideal world, we'd set optional enrichment tasks and reward students for participation in it.

@SpikyJugs

It doesn't take that long. Are you basically saying you can't be arsed helping your DCs with their homework?

Homework at Primary school is largely a waste of time. Reading daily is all they should need to do. Your comment is pathetic. OP - YANBU

My kids are primary, we don't bother with homework. They have the option to do it (with help if needed)
a) when they get home from school
Or
b) after lunch on a Saturday
They usually don't bother. They are performing above expected levels at school and i like them to relax at home. We do reading most nights but they enjoy that.

@Babdoc

I started state primary school in 1959. There was no homework whatsoever in the whole seven years I spent there. We all knew up to our twelve times tables by the age of seven. By the time I was ten, we were doing algebra, geometry, and starting trigonometry. We could all read fluently by the end of reception class. Our time at home was spent playing in the streets, woods and fields, learning independence, getting fresh air and exercise, and learning how to interact with our peers. Why can’t modern primary schools cover the same curriculum during the school day, leaving children free to play at weekends?

This in spades! Although there would have been some children who struggled but you just weren't aware of them. Homework is a complete waste of time. Children need to relax.