To resent DCs homework

[letsgoflyakite123]

Reading - of course. Maybe even some spellings and timestables. But DC seem to be set things like writing up a science experiment complete with diagram, oak academy lessons. I just think it is too much and really resent the time it intrudes on family life.
Dc1 (11) struggles with school work so needs lots of help and it takes ages. DC2 (7) excels with her school work and is so keen to do well it takes ages. So it's hard to do after school and ends up taking over the weekend.
Does anyone else feel the same? And if it is just me how do you fit it all in alongside seeing family and friends, DCs activities and just relaxing.

@Echobelly likewise we have to sit with DC1 for all homework (as some Sen). And likewise dreading secondary and knowing that this just won't be feasible then.

I hate HW for primary aged kids. It horrible when you've got little kids going to after school not getting collected until 5.30pm, still got dinner to have.
They want to chill, watch telly, talk to you, and then you are on their case about HW and trying to get them to bed.
It might actually only take 10mins but the 30mins of coxing and come on let's get it done is just tiring and wearing.

@Dinoteeth I agree with the 30mins wrangling for 10 min homework! 😆 The stress to gain ratio doesn't seem worth it. Particularly if you've all fallen out by the end of it.

@LockUpAlone agree we should aim for one weekend day with no homework but we hardly ever achieve this.

I do not do homework with my children. We read everyday but I work full time, they go to school all day and then to after school club, they come home tired and I'm not going to fight and argue in the little time I get to spend with them on an evening getting them to do homework.

There is no evidence that homework gives an academic advantage and my children are excelling at school. Just don't do it OP.

@letsgoflyakite123

That's harsh *@SpikyJugs* - quite the opposite. I often spend hours helping the DC do homework that I honestly think is pretty pointless. Deal with DC 1 crying as work is too hard and Dc2 crying as she wants to get it perfect but is only 7 and finds it all too much. I think they'd learn more if we had more time to focus on reading, or following an interest of their own, go to a museum etc. It sucks the fun out of it all.

Sorry I was harsh. I hadn't clocked the ages of your DCs. Yes I think for your youngest, it's a bit pointless and really shouldn't be taking up much of her time. With your older DC, it's good for them to learn the discipline of doing homework, but again, a time limit seems sensible so that it doesn't take over.

My school doesn't set homework beyond reading and sending home tricky words. But in the past we did learning grids with about 6 optional tasks. I remember once sending one with 'helpful' tasks such as learning a skill to help the family, like changing the bed or washing up or saying a kind thing to someone at home. The parents all really appreciated it (i had several notes and emails about it) and I felt less shit about sending homework to busy families.

Id say dc1 homework is important in the sense of prep for high school in September as hw load will increase.

I find sitting them at the kitchen table to do hw while I'm prepping dinner, cooking, folding laundry etc works the best for us as keeps my stress levels lower as I'm not pulling my hair out wrangling with them. Just keep checking in if they need a hand

Mine don’t do homework in primary, none of them ever have. I just say ‘no’.

Same here, we just don’t do it. Working full time and haven’t got the time or mental energy available. Kids are well on track with learning despite this.

There is no evidence that homework gives an academic advantage and my children are excelling at school.

This is really easy to say when your child is excelling at school. But what happens when they aren't? OP has said DC1 struggles with school, and without OP's support is likely to fall further and further behind. It's a balance you need to find. I also have one child I could say that about. But I also have one who has huge difficulties at school and not giving him the time and attention he needs at home would be hugely detrimental to him.

agree we should aim for one weekend day with no homework but we hardly ever achieve this.
This was is also us. But think about it, DH and I would go loopy if I never had a day off from work stuff. And then on top of that, it's something he finds really hard and hates doing. Just think of the effect that will have on him if he quite literally never has a break. It's really important that he can have a day to wind down and try to escape from the stress of knowing that how ever much he works and we insist, he will never be above the bottom of the class. [I'm speaking for mine here, not saying your DC1 is]

Totally agree. Homework should be banned. It adds nothing.

LockedUp you are right it is easy for me to say that and I don't mean to diminish other children who are struggling. I guess my point is, the school should be adjusting their teaching IN school to support struggling children, they shouldn't have to do so much extra at home.

They spend 6 hours at school and then expected to more of the same at home, no way, I wouldn't do it for work- we do activities and read and watch educational programmes but I'm not fighting my kids on the rare opportunity to spend time together in the week and I'm really not going to spend my weekend miserable.

I don't do any homework with mine bar some reading.
I don't have time for that. I have 4 kids. 3 in primary school and i work full time. The children should be able to manage the homework themselves and it shouldn't be time-consuming at this stage. If it is then the homework is not suitable and/or the teaching at school isn't properly designed.

Our primary school is fabulous and there is no homework (aside from reading every day to/with/together) before Year 6. As a pp said the evidence just doesn't support its efficacy, it doesn't support primary aged children's development in terms of attainment. Knowing that I'd take the pressure off, do what you can but don't waste your family time doing it, a family walk talking about the birds and flowers you see for example is likely to be just as useful.

In Finland, which offers very high standards of education, homework is minimal, and non-existent at the primary stage. It sounds as if your children would be better off following that policy.

A bright 7 year old doesn't need to do homework and really shouldn't be getting so stressed about it. You need to talk to the teacher about giving her a pass on this, and indeed about the amount of homework that is being set anyway.

Reading, spellings and times tables practice (using fun apps) should be plenty spread throughout the week.

I wouldn't do any more than that.

I hate homework as a parent and as a teacher. It hasn't been found to be of any benefit for learning and making your kids do it is a drag and as a teacher having to set it, check it and mark it is a big waste of time.

Have you asked your child's teacher about it? My daughter was complaining about the huge amount of maths work she was having to do each weekend as even though she is academic and able to do it all she finds it boring and there's a lot of it. I asked about it at parents evening and her teacher said she sets the same amount every week but sometimes it will be easier for them to complete it in the 30-40 minutes (Y5) they should be spending on it and sometimes they're unlikely to be able to, so they should just spend the required amount of time and then stop and if it's not finished then no problem.

My daughter puts high expectations on herself and would finish it no matter how long it took but now the teacher has said it's fine, she's happy to just put a timer on and work for the required time then stop.

Also, if dc1 struggles then their homework should be differentiated and set at an appropriate level so if it's not possible for them to do it independently I would just tell the teacher as they should provide a task that is achievable for the child, not set them up to struggle/fail. Not all children are working at the same level especially after covid and there's no point in pretending they are.

If you don't work weekends I would say it gets done after breakfast on a Saturday then a lie in can be had on Sunday. You then can set a limit that it has to be done by lunchtime and put away. After lunch you have the rest of the day to do what you wish. So basically they get a set time to do it and as much as they can gets done then, this will be more challenging for your son so he might need extra help but gives your dd a deadline to work towards. Teachers aren't expecting you to take all day doing homework and if it doesn't get done ping an email across explaining why, they can maybe then readjust expectations on what is an appropriate level of homework to set.

The first primary school our went to has lots of parental heavy homework - and what was more over time it got to younger and younger ages - by time youngest started nurusry was giving out HW - and more of it.

At one point though parents started complaining to HT - and it was drastically cut down on.

At same time I was being told my DC needed support yet frequently couldn't access school support or when they did it was poor quality/not good practise or not what they needed - so I felt we had no choice but to put in a lot of support at home. I did feel at some points that with every holiday having huge amount of topic work and fact I seem to have to do all the basics at home bitter and wonder why we were sending them to school.

Then we moved - and new school couldn't depend on parental suppot so much more was done in school and HW didn't come in till y5/6 and then it was stuff they could do themsleves. It took a huge amount of pressure off us.

I'd try approaching the teacher and school about HW being set as first step.

Personally I wasn't keen to give DC idea that HW was optional as it would be needed in seconday - but going out Saturday meant only had Sunday to do weekend HW - and with topic work I found quickest ways to get things done for them.

You shouldnt need to sit with them constantly. If you are then the teacher is getting the balance wrong - it should be reinforcing/consolidating stuff already learned in school, so DC should be able to do it quickly.

DS 5 gets a phonics & a maths sheet each friday. He does it at the kitchen table while I cook dinner, I dont usually have to do much to help because (as intended) it's not a stretch. If he gets things a bit wrong I often leave that for the teacher to see.

I was a secondary teacher for 26 years.

There have been repeated studies saying homework for primary has no academic benefit.

My eight year old gets 8 spelling words to learn through the week (tested on a Friday) and a set number of pages to read in her chapter book. She’s generally keen and enthusiastic so my husband does the homework with her on a Wednesday afternoon (he doesn’t work Wednesdays).

I think it’s just right. I think it’s important that they get into the way of having to do homework and I think it’s important that the parents show an interest and teach them that it’s important to do it.

I’m not in the education sector but as a parent I believe it’s not just about academic benefit. It’s about getting them to take schoolwork seriously from an early age, and showing them that its important and it matters.