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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL in a strop

100 replies

xxlockdownbabyxx · 20/03/2022 18:47

Partners family came round today and we're all over my 4 month old boy, which is lovely to see! However.. his dummy fell on the floor and my MIL picked the dummy up and put it in her mouth to "clean" it! I was horrified, i took the it off her before she put it back in my sons mouth. She was offended by this and said I was being too precious, AIBU? I'm fuming in all honesty

OP posts:
Vodka1 · 20/03/2022 20:56

@BoldMove

Yuck! Don't like dummies anyway. As for her response your baby your rules so she can jog on.
The dummy wasn't for you, silly. I wouldn't like a dummy as an adult either!
Original poster
xxlockdownbabyxx · 20/03/2022 21:00

He's already had covid and is now just getting over a cold. I get people do it, I've done it myself in situations when im out and his dummy has ended up on the ground, but he's my child. I wouldn't ever dream doing it with someone's else's baby. I should add that's she smokes and was also letting her dog lick her mouth 10 minutes before 🤢

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Original poster
xxlockdownbabyxx · 20/03/2022 21:04

@Sometimeswinning

You were precious! Mil was a bit silly. Some people on mumsnet are vile in their reactions. Your child probably has and will put far worse in their mouth. She was embarrassed to be fair. I feel a bit sorry for her.
No I wasn't being "precious". We were in my living room, where I had easy access to clean sterilised dummies. I wasn't rude or anything, I just said I'd get a clean dummy.
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Feelingoktoday · 20/03/2022 21:04

@Thehop

There are more germs in your mouth than your anus.

Tel her not to do it again the dirty cow

Next time tell her to use her anus.

Honestly what a stupid comment 😂

Original poster
xxlockdownbabyxx · 20/03/2022 21:06

@Member869894

I'm guessing she is your firstborn...
My third actually, but thanks for the comment.
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Original poster
xxlockdownbabyxx · 20/03/2022 21:16

@BritWifeInUSA

Yes she did, but she's my mum. I wouldn't ever to do to someone else's child

She’s the baby’s grandmother, FFS. Loves the child almost as much as you do. She’s not some random stranger in the street.

But this is MN after all, where MILs are the closest thing to the devil.

I wonder how you’d feel if it was your mother, not your MIL, that did this.

No, I wouldn't want my own mother doing it either! It's disgusting. As I said in a previous post, my MIL smokes and was letting the dog lick her mouth moments before!
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greenlynx · 20/03/2022 21:18

You were absolutely right. It’s gross. There was no need to do this, she’s got access to water and sterilising equipment and parents were there to resolve the situation.

MrsWinters · 20/03/2022 21:19

It’s gross. We’ve just all stopped wearing face masks and social distancing.

Samanabanana · 20/03/2022 21:21

You were not being precious at all OP, I'd be horrified if either my mother or mother in law did this!

Sally872 · 20/03/2022 21:21

Yanbu. I would also be more annoyed at calling you precious more than the initial mistake.

I suppose I might (if absolutely desperate) clean a dummy this way if it was my own child and no other option. Never in the house or for someone else's child.

Kego · 20/03/2022 21:21

It’s really common. I’d find it gross too though

rainyskylight · 20/03/2022 21:26

I do this for my own DD (although cleaning it is preferable) but I wouldn't want anyone else doing it.

Amici · 20/03/2022 21:28

My ex MIL used to chew food up for ex SILs baby... I don't know if its a local thing or a generation thing but it was a 'done' thing here years ago. That's why I could never leave her alone with my baby and it was the catalyst for the eventual break up, having told my ex I didn't want the baby left there for this reason yet he left baby there... A) it's disgusting in general, B) I didn't even do it with my son and C) she was a heavy smoker... Even though there's no malice in it, it's awful to berate a parent who doesn't want it, so I'm with you entirely. She maybe called you precious out of her own embarrassment but still, it's gross af especially in this Covid era.

greenlynx · 20/03/2022 21:30

I personally understand that it might be common but once parents have indicated that they don’t like this the only possible response should be to say sorry and not to do this again. Where parents like it the tradition may continue…

Clarabe1 · 20/03/2022 21:36

Oldie here- yes this was a thing, A pretty rank thing but it was common practice.

PlanBea · 20/03/2022 21:37

It doesn't matter if it's what we'd do or not (definitely not something I'd do!!) But, your baby your rules. The correct response would have been "ok, thanks".

GodspeedJune · 20/03/2022 21:45

Really grim, regardless of covid. We wouldn’t share spit with random family members so why are babies different? Confused

Sometimeswinning · 20/03/2022 21:46

No I wasn't being "precious". We were in my living room, where I had easy access to clean sterilised dummies.

I didn't say she was right. I also don't think being precious is that bad. I think you do need to calm down. You've created a split thread. Some agree with you. Some see mil was probably embarrassed. I hope your partner hasn't been subjected to all of this!

cigarettesNalcohol · 20/03/2022 21:55

Very baby boomer of her.

inappropriateraspberry · 20/03/2022 22:06

I wouldn't want to put a dirty dummy in my mouth, or a child's!
I can't think of anything worse than sucking clean a dummy that's been on the floor - it would be wet and all sorts would stick to it, let alone the germs!

Heartofglass12345 · 20/03/2022 22:12

I don't get why people do this, it's disgusting. I wouldn't want to suck something that's been on the floor let alone put it in my baby's mouth afterwards.
Get a new one or run it under the tap!

whynotwhy · 21/03/2022 15:48

"I was horrified"

Perhaps your face betrayed your true feelings and your DMil felt harshly judged.

MaryBeardsShoes · 21/03/2022 15:55

I saw someone do this on the tube the other week 🤣🤢

whoruntheworldgirls · 21/03/2022 16:03

Gross, your not being precious. My daughter once dropped hers on the bus, it's then i invested in dummy clips!

Original poster
xxlockdownbabyxx · 21/03/2022 16:36

@whynotwhy

"I was horrified"

Perhaps your face betrayed your true feelings and your DMil felt harshly judged.

Good 🤣. She came round again today and we're fine.
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