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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL in a strop

100 replies

xxlockdownbabyxx · 20/03/2022 18:47

Partners family came round today and we're all over my 4 month old boy, which is lovely to see! However.. his dummy fell on the floor and my MIL picked the dummy up and put it in her mouth to "clean" it! I was horrified, i took the it off her before she put it back in my sons mouth. She was offended by this and said I was being too precious, AIBU? I'm fuming in all honesty

OP posts:
Porcupineintherough · 20/03/2022 19:25

I can see why you're annoyed, but fuming? I'd keep fuming for when you need it.

Staryflight445 · 20/03/2022 19:25

It can cause dental decay issues so nobody should be doing it. It transfers the bacteria.

Just educate her op? Dentists really recommend people do not do this.

RealBecca · 20/03/2022 19:25

Yanbu. Doubt if youd stuck your used fork in her mouth she would like it.

picklemewalnuts · 20/03/2022 19:27

She won't know that there's an issue, so to her it will look as if you're being precious and fussy.

You just need to tell her that we now know that cavities are caused by a bacteria we give to our babies when we share spoons, suck their dummies etc.

Philisophigal · 20/03/2022 19:30

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn at the user's request.

Londoncallingtothefarawaytowns · 20/03/2022 19:32

No. Not in covid times lol.
A dog licked my babys face yesterday and its probably the first immume system building incident hes had since he was born Grin

Bloody covid... people forget that the kids can get sick from it too...

If it was "normal" times , i mightve been a but surprised,but said nothing
Your MIL making you feel sillu isnt nice - she musmt remember what its like to have a prevuois new baby and be sleep deprived and anxious ! Flowers

theveryhungrycatapillar · 20/03/2022 19:36

I do it with mine but I wouldn't like anyone else doing it

Holly60 · 20/03/2022 19:37

She’s naughty to call you precious but she was probably a bit embarrassed.

thedarkling · 20/03/2022 19:40

This used to be a thing that people did. Do you have sterilised dummies?

Mountainbear · 20/03/2022 19:41

It's grim and I wouldn't want anyone doing that with my baby. But honestly, she's right- it won't actually do any harm. I was very anxious with my first baby - sterilised everything. I was much more relaxed with my second, particularly after the first three months - the dog frequently licks her face, this afternoon she was trying to eat soil from the garden... she's 8 months now and has never been I'll, so I really wouldn't worry so much.

thedarkling · 20/03/2022 19:42

@Staryflight445

It can cause dental decay issues so nobody should be doing it. It transfers the bacteria.

Just educate her op? Dentists really recommend people do not do this.

But he won't have any teeth at four months. Are you sure?!
Thehop · 20/03/2022 19:45

@Porcupineintherough you’re right, apologies, bacteria.

I wouldn’t want anyone else sucking my babies dummy “clean” and I’m fine with mine digging in mud and getting filthy.

GirlMum93 · 20/03/2022 19:46

YANBU I wouldn't be happy

GirlMum93 · 20/03/2022 19:47

@Porcupineintherough

Fuming? I wouldnt love it but she hardly put it in the dog's mouth. Sounds like you both need to calm the fuck down.
I agree. I wouldn't be fuming Confused
Member869894 · 20/03/2022 19:48

I'm guessing she is your firstborn...

1983sgfhmki · 20/03/2022 19:48

Absolutely grim. Especially with the amount of Covid that's around at the moment. Irresponsible.

thenewduchessoflapland · 20/03/2022 19:50

What an utterly stupid thing to do during this pandemic when the Corona virus is carried in saliva,a person can be asymptotic and a 4 month baby's immune system is still developing and their too young to be protected by the vaccine.

1983sgfhmki · 20/03/2022 19:50

@Member869894

I'm guessing she is your firstborn...
@Member869894 these type of comments are really fucking snide and rude you know. You sound really smug and unhelpful.

You are not being precious OP. It's rank.

Mossstitch · 20/03/2022 19:52

Mine are all in their 30s but this is precisely why they never had dummies....... Used to turn my stomach seeing people do this so was common in her era as probably as old as me😏

GirlMum93 · 20/03/2022 19:53

@1983sgfhmki

Absolutely grim. Especially with the amount of Covid that's around at the moment. Irresponsible.
🙄
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 20/03/2022 19:53

I wouldn't love it either.
People just love to prove that they are not precious about this, and that mothers are just making a fuss, but I've know parents whose children have ended up in hospital due to being slobbered over by people with cold sores.
Also.. what about Covid? It's still with us.

The amount of time I had to have off work because they were too ill for nursery etc. .. when they were small.
What is so fussy about making sure young babies are not literally licking up other people's germs.
Surely this is just basic hygiene.

RedPanda901 · 20/03/2022 19:54

Babies and children do their best to lick/touch everything you don't want them to. Yes, I agree it wasn't warranted given you were at home but the poor MIL prob did it without thinking. She might be worried about it right now. Relationships between MILs and DILs can often be strained so please try to forgive her and move on.

inappropriateraspberry · 20/03/2022 19:55

Imagine if she had a bug, virus, cold etc brewing and passed that on to the baby! It's a horrible thing to do.

Luredbyapomegranate · 20/03/2022 19:57

@Imissmoominmama

It used to be common practice. She was probably embarrassed.
This

I do think embarrassment is what caused the strop. If she’s generally fine I’d just forget about it.

BritWifeInUSA · 20/03/2022 20:01

Your mother probably did that with your dummy and you survived.