If you don’t drink

[Wrinklepicker]

What do you do on a Friday night?

I realise how tragic this sounds.

I’ve pretty much decided I’m done with drinking. A few years ago, going through a horrible divorce, my drinking crept up and I was drinking most nights. It wasn’t healthy. I’ve cut right back and now only drink at the weekends, often just one night. I can still put away a fair bit on that night though.

I’d like to stop altogether, apart from the odd ‘champagne at a wedding’ type thing, but the Friday night, end of the week, relax with a glass of wine, is still a strong urge/habit.

I’m just wondering what non-drinkers do to mark the end of the working week and relax into the weekend?

I used to crochet when I was married actually. The trigger for my escalating drinking was definitely my divorce and needing to spend more time with friends as I had no husband anymore - my friends are big social drinkers and throw in the emotion and upset of divorce and it was a bit of a perfect storm. Then it became a habit.

I think I’ll have a look at some crochet patterns. I love open water swimming and have made some new friends who do that so Ill try and arrange Saturday morning swims, and maybe try a different gym session where I hang around for a swim and sauna - I’m in and out in the week.

I always find there is so much more time in the weekend when I don’t drink, but I suppose because I’m single and my kids are away at weekends I’m not always sure how to fill this newly acquired time!

I definitely feel like I’ve come a long way already but I’m excited for the next leg of the journey ☺️

I get you, OP.

In the US, Lay's Potato Chips has a slogan, "Betcha Can't Eat Just One".
I used to say that about a glass of wine, "betcha can't have just one" and I often didn't.

I've done 200 days now without alcohol and it's been okay. I used to worry about how I'd handle sunny days in the garden or an evening relaxing in front of the tv but once I made the decision to stop, I did. What's helped is that I bought a few books on alcohol-free drinks and I've learned to enjoy them on sunny days or while watching tv. There are plenty of ideas on Pinterest and it's been fun trying new things. I especially loved a prickly pear lemonade, hibiscus agua fresca, piña coladas...

Additionally, I did change my routine a bit in the evenings. I'll go for a walk or go to the gym, read, do a jigsaw, knit, draw, etc...

I don’t understand the need to ‘mark the end of the week and ‘relax into the weekend’
Not something I’ve ever considered
It’s just another day

@Wrinklepicker

I used to crochet when I was married actually. The trigger for my escalating drinking was definitely my divorce and needing to spend more time with friends as I had no husband anymore - my friends are big social drinkers and throw in the emotion and upset of divorce and it was a bit of a perfect storm. Then it became a habit.

I think I’ll have a look at some crochet patterns. I love open water swimming and have made some new friends who do that so Ill try and arrange Saturday morning swims, and maybe try a different gym session where I hang around for a swim and sauna - I’m in and out in the week.

I always find there is so much more time in the weekend when I don’t drink, but I suppose because I’m single and my kids are away at weekends I’m not always sure how to fill this newly acquired time!

I definitely feel like I’ve come a long way already but I’m excited for the next leg of the journey ☺️

I think you either find a near replacement - alcohol free, fancy hot chocolate, fancy soft drink, or you find something totally different. Crochet and open water swimming are both things I like and think they'd be great but other options might be

a walk by the coast/river with an ice cream on a friday evening
yoga
a trip to the cinema
a particular takeaway or restaurant
a fancy meal at home - steak etc

Near me is a gym and spa where you can buy day passes to use the spa facilities fairly inexpensively. It tends to be quiet on a Friday night. If you have something like that nearby you could do that - mine has a massive jacuzzi with a swim out arch to an outside one, steam rooms, pool, jacuzzi lounge bed things.

I don't have a problem with drinking, I can go weeks without quite happily, but I have a massive problem with sugar and struggle to avoid the ritual of ending a meal with something sweet. It is a big issue health wise and I'm really struggling with it so I take my hat off to you OP for the changes you have already made and the one you're looking to make.

I guess I’m the odd glass of champagne at a wedding type, though I do drink a bit more often than that. It’s not a regular habit though, I might get on a kick and have a glass a few days in a row and then not drink again for 6 months.

I suppose on Friday we tend to just be a little more relaxed with our routine and stay up a bit later knowing we don’t have to get up ridiculously early in the morning. We are more likely to watch a movie or have a leisurely dinner. Our bathroom remodel is finally done so it’s a good night for me to take a really long bath (the remodel even allows me to stream tv and movies in the tub which is just pure indulgence)
Weeknights are pretty regimented with work and a teen with lots of homework so just having that breathing space is enough.

I'm thinking of quitting the booze altogether too, OP. I don't drink much at all altogether in an average week/month any more, but I still have the occasional evening where I'll drink too much, and I regret it every time and think 'Why the hell did I do it?' I only even really enjoy the first two glasses.

Anyway, yy to knitting or crochet. I do both and can't do them after booze - in fact on quite a few occasions I've chosen not to drink on a Friday or Saturday night precisely because I've got a knitting project I'm itching to get on with.

What else do I do? Read, play board games or card games with dh (and sometimes my teen dc), and often watch a film or a couple of episodes of a series with dh.

One thing I'm trying to keep in mind is that I never, ever regret choosing not to drink, but I almost always at least slightly regret choosing to drink, even if I don't have much (apaet from anything else, I always sleep worse).

I watch TV with OH, have some chocolate or biscuits, have a bath. I do everything I did before, just without a drink and I genuinely don't miss it.

I always run on Friday night. Rarely missed a run on a Friday. Thats my relax time.