If you don’t drink

[Wrinklepicker]

What do you do on a Friday night?

I realise how tragic this sounds.

I’ve pretty much decided I’m done with drinking. A few years ago, going through a horrible divorce, my drinking crept up and I was drinking most nights. It wasn’t healthy. I’ve cut right back and now only drink at the weekends, often just one night. I can still put away a fair bit on that night though.

I’d like to stop altogether, apart from the odd ‘champagne at a wedding’ type thing, but the Friday night, end of the week, relax with a glass of wine, is still a strong urge/habit.

I’m just wondering what non-drinkers do to mark the end of the working week and relax into the weekend?

And maybe engrossing yourself in some ‘quit lit’ - never heard this term!- is a good idea..

I rarely drink alcohol, am now in my 50's and have never real drunk it so I've nothing to miss on a Friday evening in fact I could turn the question round and say why do you need to "mark the end of the working week" with a glass of alcohol or need it to "relax" at the weekend?
I not saying I'm better than you I just guess we all just find different ways of relaxing I walk, ride and garden thats how I relax/unwind.
Im assuming its like smoking (I dont smoke either) you need to find and alternative activity when you feel the desire to have a drink, puzzles maybe or chocolate?

I've given up alcohol for Lent and am often alcohol free because of weight management. I love fizzy drinks, s save them for a Fri/Saturday. I mix cordial into sugar free lemonade, if I can't find sugar free Rio or Fanta fruit twist. I used to have treat food, but that was replacing one bad habits with another. Friday is my home microneedling and facial night. I agree that it's great having the weekends back.

@SuperJune I love Friday night yoga too!

I go to that and then often have a swim and a sauna, pick up a takeaway or something easy to cook and then usually have an early night if I'm not going to the cinema or gig, especially if I've had a busy week. The late night Fridays at some of the museums are starting up again too for those near one, and I'll be heading to those when I get chance.

I'm not teetotal but I don't drink at home and rarely go to pubs or bars, so it's probably only once or twice a year I have alcohol. Like a PP, it just doesn't really cross my mind.

I've tried, and enjoyed, combinations of the grown up cordials plus soda water, lightly sparkling tonics, lemonades etc but always drink them in a large wine glass. Psychological, but feels like a proper Friday night drink.

These Mediterranean Fever Trees are nice.

An equivalent non alcoholic drink for me.

I stopped drinking wine after the hangovers started to get to me, so I tested some non alcoholic beers and pre mixed drinks and found a few I really like. There's some good gin substitutes now, and there's always a fancy can of something in M&S if that's your thing.

It's not going to be the same as wine unfortunately, but something that's a treat is helpful.

As the weather gets better how about logging off and going for a walk or even a swim?

I usually avoid alcohol for mental health reasons.

Used to go to a fab aerobics class on Friday evening with great music, that was brilliant.

I give the DC an easy tea, eg chicken nuggets, to give myself a break from cooking. Watch something with them. Online window shop, watch TV, relax with DH, potter about.

Get a good sleep, then on Saturday morning I like to get up early and do parkrun, or an exercise class of some kind, then takeaway coffee and mooch around local shops.

Once went to a spa on Friday eve with my sister in law, we didn’t have any treatments, just swam, steam room, read magazines, had slice of cake and soft drink and chatted. that was a lovely treat.

I take DD to brownies and have started sometimes helping out. Then go home and watch some tv and if I fancy that 'marker' I have a non alcoholic beer. Sometimes I'll see a friend but just stick with the non alcoholic beer.

I gave up drinking three years ago for similar reasons to you. I now spend Friday nights watching TV or reading, or if I'm going out I go for a meal, go to the cinema or theatre. I treat myself by getting nice food (not too much sugar though as I ended up putting on a few extra pounds at the start!) having a bath with nice bubble bath or a bath bomb, using nice face masks and/or body lotion, or just relaxing doing very little.

I found it got easier as time went on. I didn't drink any non-alcoholic wine or gin as I prefer not to, but some people find it helpful. I also went to AA meetings, even though my drinking wasn't daily, and I hadn't had any major consequences from my drinking. I found AA kept me on the straight and narrow, and the AA steps helped me to carve out a way of living which did not include alcohol. I'm very irreverent, and haven't changed my views or beliefs since joining AA, just in case you worry that it might be a religious or sanctimonious programme. Good luck!

I've been AF a year now and in answer to your question I don't do anything to mark the weekend. When I first stopped I used to drink an af beer or soft drink in a fancy glass, but I don't need that anymore. I don't feel like I'm missing out.

I tend to read and crochet in the evenings; whatever I can fit in around gym/dance/yoga classes these days.

I recently gave up alcohol as it was making menopause symptoms totally unbearable. No alcohol = no symptoms. But I do miss it, particulary as it set apart a time in the week when I was having fun on my own terms, and not for anyone else.

So I guess a replacement would be something else which feels like a treat, just for you, whatever that would be? Takeaway, exercise, like others have suggested. I haven't worked out what mine is yet.

I’d definitely agree with quit lit for anyone else reading this and wanting to cut down. A few years ago I was really quite bad, mindlessly drinking whenever I had a bad day (often) or a good day (to celebrate) or it was Friday, or any other excuse.

I feel loads better for getting down to a reasonable limit but that’s made me realise how rubbish drinking makes me feel at all and how much better life is without it.

@Wrinklepicker

It’s inspiring hearing from all of you who have kicked the habits. A lot of what you say resonates, like finding it freeing and enjoying other drinks more.

I’ve really taken a step back recently and realised how much drinking is fetishised ‘wine o’clock’ ‘mummy needs gin’ etc and what utter bullshit it is

OP this is such a good point. I gave up on 27.12.21 after a drunken Boxing Day and I read a book called this naked mind-control alcohol by Annie grace and it says quite a lot about the bullshit that really opened my eyes up to it.

Non-alcoholic Martini is a lot nicer than it sounds! Martini Vibrante.

I try to drink water or tea all through the week but on a Friday-Sunday, I allow myself a fizzy drink. I don’t drink anything at all but it’s nice to have a treat to look forward to.

I have an ice cream, usually. Something a bit special, like a Magnum. I don't drink much and never alone (don't see the point) so it wouldn't even occur to me to have a drink just because it was Friday night?

I can count on one hand the number of times I will have an alcoholic drink in a year (my body can’t process alcohol very well at all, so I will have no more than the equivalent of one unit of alcohol at any one time).

I do have non alcoholic drinks at home but I don’t tend to drink them very often at all. Posh cordials are good though. :)

How do I mark the weekend? I’ll watch a movie, or get some nice snacks and chill with a book. Or I’ll FaceTime/catch up with friends. Maybe I’ll do a run on the treadmill or an exercise video. I tend to go to bed early during the week, but at the weekend, I will stay up a bit later.

@Wrinklepicker

It’s inspiring hearing from all of you who have kicked the habits. A lot of what you say resonates, like finding it freeing and enjoying other drinks more.

I’ve really taken a step back recently and realised how much drinking is fetishised ‘wine o’clock’ ‘mummy needs gin’ etc and what utter bullshit it is

Also the assumption that alcohol is a good gift for random people you don’t know that well (teachers, colleagues) with 0 consideration for people not drinking or not being able to have alcohol in the house.

“They can just regift it!” - Then why bother buying them a gift at all?

Hot chocolate or ice-cream were my go-tos at the beginning when I needed something to mentally replace that ‘it’s Friday, time for a glass of wine!’ feeling. Looking forward to a nice hot chocolate or ice cream instead helped me get through Fridays, which were undoubtedly the hardest days for me at the beginning. I think that’s very common.

As time’s gone on I find that I don’t really need to drink or eat something specific to know that it’s Friday and be able to look forward to the weekend. It’s just not something I really give much though to any more, although my husband and I might get a takeaway or cook a nice meal on a Friday night and enjoy an evening together.

Basically there’s a pathway in your brain right now that says Friday=wine and it can be helpful to replace that with another food/drink to start with, but as time goes on that connection starts to fade away and you don’t feel like you NEED a Friday treat in quite the same way, if that makes sense?

I don't work so Friday nights are not treated that differently to any other night. Have a 3yo at home and it's just the normal routine - dinner, bath, bed etc. Takes an age to finally get DD settled into bed so I don't really have time for any relaxation activities for myself afterwards. Just catch up on admin and prepping things like food for the weekend. Very boring but that's life with young kids. I've never been a big drinker, but stopped when I was pregnant and breastfeeding and now pg again, and haven’t had any alcohol for about 4 years. Plan to breastfeed to a couple more years and probably won't drink while doing that.

I like Elderflower type drinks . Also in Summer "Real" lemonade .(Winter good old Tomato juice ). Also sparkling water with the Elderflower to make it last. Also having a nice glass as well! Dont know why just adds to the feeling of relaxation /Treat I think!

Well at the moment my dc play sport on a Friday evening so a chunk of the evening is taken up by that.

Dh and I used to have a takeaway and that was our Friday treat.

We usually have something nice to eat, watch tv and go to bed.

If you wanted to treat yourself you could go to see a film, go out to eat, get a takeaway, have a long bath and a book with some chocolate, visit a friend or relative.

It took me ages to get used to that bit - the division between work/day time and when it's time to relax in the evening. I found having seedlip and a nice tonic or a alcohol-free beer helped. Something that felt like a bit of a treat and that I didn't have every day.

I also didn't know what to drink when I was stressed - chamomile tea isn't quite the same as a glass of wine. But you will get used to it and one day you won't even notice it's missing. Stick with it! It does get easier. Try using the calm app or headspace, they really help with processing your emotions and calming you down.