If you don’t drink

[Wrinklepicker]

What do you do on a Friday night?

I realise how tragic this sounds.

I’ve pretty much decided I’m done with drinking. A few years ago, going through a horrible divorce, my drinking crept up and I was drinking most nights. It wasn’t healthy. I’ve cut right back and now only drink at the weekends, often just one night. I can still put away a fair bit on that night though.

I’d like to stop altogether, apart from the odd ‘champagne at a wedding’ type thing, but the Friday night, end of the week, relax with a glass of wine, is still a strong urge/habit.

I’m just wondering what non-drinkers do to mark the end of the working week and relax into the weekend?

I don't feel I need to mark the end of the week. It's a social construct that I don't buy into.
Friday night is no more/less special than any other.

I’m a recovering alcoholic, I used to love Friday nights and always made sure I had lots of booze in ready to get smashed.
I have been sober now 4.5 years.
I don’t even think about it now, but do tend to make a nicer dinner and make sure there’s a Wispa Gold in the fridge.
However, at the beginning, it helped to have something planned for Saturday morning.

I dint drink on the whole. Maybe half a glass at Christmas or on my birthday. Although this year I had a mocktail on my birthday. I'm not against drinking, I just don't like the taste.
Unfortunately, I can always celebrate anything with food. It's just as harmful but maybe less disruptive to other people? When I was working, Friday nights were for just flopping on the settee and watching telly. Or going out for a meal or drink with friends. It's just the drink would be non-alcoholic.

I’ve stopped drinking for the moment as my anxiety has been a pig recently and I’ve noticed alcohol brings on panic attacks.

Friday nights, sometimes I do a movie night with the kids - takeaway and hot chocolate and then when they’re in bed, a nice dessert with my partner later.

Or might just be a takeaway with my partner and a film.

I’m self-employed and I work lots of evenings so in all honesty, putting the laptop away and not working is a treat in itself.

Oh planning something for Saturday is a nice idea! More carrot than stick :)

@5thnonblonde

Oh planning something for Saturday is a nice idea! More carrot than stick :)

Yes, you’re then thinking of Saturday rather than Friday.

What I was asking is how people who don’t drink at all mark the switch from working week to weekend.

Does it help if I say this seems like an odd concept to me? In other words, I don't have any kind of marking the switch from working week to weekend, I just do what I normally do. Sometimes that's going out, sometimes that's staying in. I do have some issues with not reaching for the biscuit tin equivalent and my best answer is to keep busy. Just sitting and watching TV for example makes it really hard to resist. I'm much better if at least my mind is active.

I don't drink. Watch a film, get a takeaway or something nice for dinner, relax. Read. Occasionally go out (2 little kids!)

It doesn't actually cross my.mind to think about alcohol any more, unless someone offers me a glass, and the only place that happens is at the ILs. So Friday night is relax as usual (meal in front of the TV) and look forward to the weekend. As some sort of 'treat' I'd have a chocolate pud or ice cream. But then I'm happy with a cuppa rather than alcohol.

I have a hobby.

Drinking appears to be your ‘hobby’ and now you’ve stopped you clearly need to find a new hobby.

End of the day/week I do a few of the below depending on the time of year
-online gaming
-tabletop gaming
-reading
-knitting/crafts
-art/drawing
-hiking/woodland walks borrowing friends dogs
-gardening

What sort of hobbies do you fancy doing or could pick up again?

Have a nice bath with a fizzy drink
Hot chocolate (sometimes all the toppings, also enjoy a bit of ice cream in it too!)
Watch a film/series and stay up later (or take to bed early with film)
Nice takeaway or out to eat
Fajitas have become a Saturday night dinner often!
Non alcoholic version of a drink

Good luck OP

I go to bed early, 9pm is early for me. Sometimes I’ll be there an hour earlier, reading. And instead I make the most of my Saturday/Sunday mornings. Feel fresh waking up and seeing the sunrise or going for a walk, get all the shopping and cleaning done super early.

I like different flavoured tonic waters. Elderflower mostly.
You can get the non alcoholic spirits. I quite like the seedlip ones and I will order that sometimes when I'm out as well as most places now serve this on the Mocktail menu.

And, just to add, when I decided to stop drinking, I did actually find it quite difficult. So I read books related to stopping drinking and the Psychology around it which helped actually. I really love Caroline knapps book 'Drinking' and have since bought a few others.
I was definitely thinking about drinking more than I liked.
And like others have said - the non alcoholic options are loads better now. I have non alcohol bottles of lager during the summer and you can't tell the difference taste wise.

@Wrinklepicker

What do you do on a Friday night?

I realise how tragic this sounds.

I’ve pretty much decided I’m done with drinking. A few years ago, going through a horrible divorce, my drinking crept up and I was drinking most nights. It wasn’t healthy. I’ve cut right back and now only drink at the weekends, often just one night. I can still put away a fair bit on that night though.

I’d like to stop altogether, apart from the odd ‘champagne at a wedding’ type thing, but the Friday night, end of the week, relax with a glass of wine, is still a strong urge/habit.

I’m just wondering what non-drinkers do to mark the end of the working week and relax into the weekend?

We were just discussing this, this morning. I spent many days and nights out driving and joining friends without drinking. So basically the same as everyone else without the booze. No hangovers, and no taxi fares.

@Crimesean
^Oh FFS, what a smug, sanctimonious post hmm
Do you feel better for telling strangers on the Internet how abstemious you are, and for giving OP a sly little kick? Do you?^

I read that post and thought it wasn’t an entirely unreasonable question to ask but it’s not relevant to the OP’s dilemma.

The issue here is the OP has a habit that she wants to break and is looking for ideas on how to change. Good for her!

If you’re over indulging as opposed to enjoying an occasional treat by stuffing your face with crisps, takeaway's, smoking or drinking wine, it’s usually because you’re unhappy and trying to change how you feel about yourself.

OP needs to accept that she’s feeling tired and stressed and look for other ways to manage those feelings. Often people who give up excessive drinking swap one vice for another and start chain smoking or do something else to excess. It’s about finding a balance that works for her.

I enjoy crafting and will either sew, read a book or watch something on Netflix when I’m relaxing in the evenings on my own.

It can be a hard 'relax' switch to kick. I'm pregnant so not drinking right now anyway. But I had hugely swerved my drinking in 2021. I don't think I have anything special in place of it. I just stopped buying it in the weekly shop. If it wasn't in the house, I wasn't drinking it.

I love being fresh on a Sat/ Sun morning so I guess that was my reward. DH and I went to Scotland for a few days, without hangovers we were up early, able to enjoy huge breakfasts (I could never eat hung over), and spend the whole day exploring. I know on previous holidays at least one morning would have been taken up with being hung over til near mid day.

Totally agree with you about 'wine o clock' etc. No I am not judging, just noticing, but a lot of people (women) put a lot of alcohol in with their weekly shop. And the worst part is we all think it is normal. It has been normalised. But I know I was drinking far too much but really thought it was ok 'everyone else was'

I try to finish work a lot earlier on a Friday so at 5 and WFH that day. My husband is home by 4 on a Friday. In the summer that means I have time to ride, cycle or go for a walk before it gets dark. He generally does some DIY or gardening.

In the winter we might drive off somewhere like the coast or forest, occasionally go out for a meal, or crack on with cleaning to save doing it over the weekend or have a slightly nicer evening meal. We then crash out and watch TV or read, but it is usually fairly late by then.

What @MaudieandMe said there about crafting. I don't craft, but I did crochet/ knit to keep my hand occupied great for trying to stop night time snacking too.

@fairylightsandwaxmelts

Go out for meals Have a takeaway Watch TV or a movie with DH Go out with friends

All the normal things, just without the alcohol.

This^ Have friends in for pizza and popcorn night or do a bbq outside. Mu week is not so stressful that I have to celebrate getting through it. Friday is just a night to plan the weekend and stay up later so you can lie in on Saturday.

Takeaway
Movie night in with DP
Fakeaway night
Go to restaurant
Cinema
Bowling
See friends
Drive out to local shopping centre which closes at 11 and do some browsing and then stop for some fast food
Drinking was never a problem for me so I don’t mind going to a pub or a bar but can see how that would be problematic if you’re actively trying to avoid
Early night so we can get up early to go for breakfast the next day

DP works crazy hours though so if I’m in alone on a Friday or Saturday night usually some combo of bath and pamper night with a film and snacks. Will always make a conscious effort to meet up with friends if I’m alone also but we usually do brunch and then I like to have the evening to myself. I agree with PP who said planning each day of your weekend in advance really helps. We never feel like we’re missing out because we don’t drink.

I do the same.e as everyone else, just no alcohol. I like trying different teas too if I want something interesting to drink.

I go to the pub and drink soft drinks

• Winner winner chicken roast dinner
• Watch TV
• Bedtime

Make a nice drink just not an alcoholic one.

Have a bath.

Give myself a facial

Read my book or watch a movie

Eat nice food

Have sex

Pretty much whatever you normally do for leisure! 🤷‍♀️

For me the first few months of no alcohol . were hard but not I don't care anymore. Just stick with it