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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to be called a ‘dickhead’/‘bitch’ at work?

83 replies

pudridpudding · 19/03/2022 05:10

A woman I work with flounces in at the start of her shift yelling out: “Morning, dickheads/bitches!”

She isn’t my boss (though seems to think she is, along with everyone else), but she is responsible for a few people.

I find it childish, unprofessional and annoying. I suspect she thinks it makes her seem edgy.

AIBU to not want to hear it?

OP posts:
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 19/03/2022 11:00

you're probably a different generation to me.. they're endearing nicknames/it's used in a jokey way, I don't mean my friends are actual bitches or dickheads, We don't call each other that every time we see each other either lol just occasionally, it's quite common to 'insult' the people you like to their face as a joke

Are you absolutely certain that they find it lovely and endearing too? Would they feel confident to tell you if they didn't? How did it first start - did somebody decide that, instead of a neutral/friendly greeting, they would decide to use an insult with which to show their 'affection', and everybody was suddenly unanimously on board and in agreement with this?

How would you feel if a partner started calling you that all the time - would it just be a great, fun joke between lovers and not potentially upsetting in the least?

It does sound very immature and demonstrative of low social skills to me, but if you can be 100% categorically sure that everybody enjoys it (not just tolerates it or feels frightened to express dissent), then crack on, I suppose.

bellac11 · 19/03/2022 11:08

I absolutely hate the word bitch and particularly in recent years where it appears trendy to refer to women this way. Its disgusting in my opinion

There was a thread on here recently with someone asking for a 'bad bitch' playlist for her daughter. Not one poster questioned it. Incredible.

BeautifulGreenEyes · 19/03/2022 11:08

Very annoying and YANBU.

I used to work at a place where here was this loud obnoxious woman who used to swan into the office I worked in with 2 other women (from her office next door,) and start hollering and laughing loudly and acting really obnoxiously when she could SEE someone was on the phone. She did it deliberately to try and put people off what they were doing. I don't know why. As pps have said, it was probably a power trip.

Gazelda · 19/03/2022 11:11

[quote itssunnytoday]@Magenta82 you're probably a different generation to me.. they're endearing nicknames/it's used in a jokey way, I don't mean my friends are actual bitches or dickheads, We don't call each other that every time we see each other either lol just occasionally, it's quite common to 'insult' the people you like to their face as a joke ... again though I'd never say it in a work environment [/quote]
What on earth has @Magenta82's post got to do with age?

StScholastica · 19/03/2022 11:18

I wouldn't reply Morning, Cunt as I hate that misogynistic word but " Morning, Bollock Brains" or something similar would do.
She sounds insufferable.

TheEarthIsNotFlat · 19/03/2022 11:20

I’d be cringing inside for her. As a one off it’s probably raise a very slight snigger but after that it’s just annoying. Tbh, I couldn’t ever imagine doing this in a professional environment. We always used to do it at uni, you know when we were 18-21! We grew out of it though 😆

itssunnytoday · 19/03/2022 11:25

@Gazelda you've clearly taken that as an insult which it wasn't intended to be, my point was, different generations have different senses of humour, which is true

DecayedStrumpet · 19/03/2022 11:25

Reply with 'bloody hell you are brave to keep doing that with the HR investigation going on'.

I would go with this, because it's jokey but should focus her mind on what she's actually doing.

Or, "you know we're all taking notes for our workplace harassment cases, right?"

BeautifulGreenEyes · 19/03/2022 11:50

@StScholastica

I wouldn't reply Morning, Cunt as I hate that misogynistic word but " Morning, Bollock Brains" or something similar would do. She sounds insufferable.
I love that! Grin
iklboo · 19/03/2022 11:59

Groan loudly & say 'Oh, Christ. Not this again!' in a bored voice.

TimBoothseyes · 19/03/2022 12:04

I work in a factory and 1 person (male, surprise, surprise), every day without fail will yell "time for break motherfuckers". A lot of people have complained to the (male) supervisor but nothing has been done about it.

Piggy666 · 19/03/2022 12:06

@Thatsplentyjack

Next time shout back "morning cunt".
🤣🤣🤣
Acheyknees · 19/03/2022 12:07

Reply 'morning unprofessional colleague'

Longcovid21 · 19/03/2022 13:15

Reply morning pea brain. That should get the message across.

Nnique · 19/03/2022 13:36

Ugh no that would drive me crazy.

KateTheEighth · 19/03/2022 13:41

I would probably reply in a "good dog" voice "Who's an edgy girl? Are you an edgy girl? Yes you are, yes you are..."

Coffeetree · 19/03/2022 13:50

Or say, "Ah great, each time you say that I'm getting closer to my out-of-court settlement. Hello early retirement!"

BoredZelda · 19/03/2022 14:41

it’s quite common to 'insult' the people you like to their face as a joke

Yes, it is rather.

Thesefeetaremadeforwalking · 19/03/2022 15:34

I agree it's inappropriate and unprofessional.

Ask her not to speak to you like that as you find it offensive

Then I would have a word with HR if she doesn't stop.

Original poster
pudridpudding · 21/03/2022 00:34

@itssunnytoday The Inbetweeners are high school boys. She’s pushing 40! I don’t imagine she thinks we’re all great buddies because she’s big on cliques.

OP posts:
Original poster
pudridpudding · 21/03/2022 00:37

@BeautifulGreenEyes

Very annoying and YANBU.

I used to work at a place where here was this loud obnoxious woman who used to swan into the office I worked in with 2 other women (from her office next door,) and start hollering and laughing loudly and acting really obnoxiously when she could SEE someone was on the phone. She did it deliberately to try and put people off what they were doing. I don't know why. As pps have said, it was probably a power trip.

She does this too. She also loves to draw attention to herself despite anyone showing any interest. “Oh, I’m a real sort aren’t I.” “Ooh aye. I’m going to be insufferable the week before my holidays. Just INSUFFERABLE!!!”
OP posts:
Original poster
pudridpudding · 21/03/2022 00:38

@bellac11

I absolutely hate the word bitch and particularly in recent years where it appears trendy to refer to women this way. Its disgusting in my opinion

There was a thread on here recently with someone asking for a 'bad bitch' playlist for her daughter. Not one poster questioned it. Incredible.

I hate it too.
OP posts:
Original poster
pudridpudding · 21/03/2022 00:39

@TomHarksPiranhas

I have a supervisor who announces Daddy’s here when he arrives and see you later kids when he leaves Shock I’ve started saying “what?” every time now, he’s stopped saying it when I’m there but still carries on at other times!! Not as offensive it creepy.Hmm

You definitely need to call her on it in someway…..

Oh that’s so creepy. Just… why.
OP posts:
Original poster
pudridpudding · 21/03/2022 00:43

@BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation You’re right! She’s David Brent! And she even has a Gareth too! Haha. That’s going to make things easier for me now I can draw the parallels for my own amusement. Mind you, she’s somehow more cringy and a lot less endearing than David Brent. And I bet she can’t play the guitar either. Or sing.

OP posts:
Lalliella · 21/03/2022 00:50

Takes one to know one.

Ignore her. She wants to get a rise out of people. Don’t let her have it.