My house is never gonna be clean enough.

[Kage30]

I would consider myself a bit of a clean and tidy person generally, like a clean house but my house is far from a show home. I tidy as much as I can with 2 kids with sen, I hoover daily, mop daily, wash the bedding weekly. Bathroom cleaned regularly, laundry kept on top of, sides always wiped, dishes done etc. Clutter is a big trigger for me so try and keep it tidy, laundry away etc.

But I never have time to deep clean and feel guilty about it thinking my house isn't clean enough. Things like cleaning the skirting boards, pulling things out to vacuum underneath, windows etc? I don't dust as often as I should. My oven hasn't been cleaned in months. I need to hoover under the kids beds again as seems to be a hotspot for mess!!

I feel like I'm drowning. Once the basic things are done, I feel like I have little time to 'deep clean'. Wardrobes are a mess as both Dp and the kids just pull things out and drag everything else with it and dump it back in

I'm struggling to keep on top of all the things I would like to do.

Not really an aibu. Buy anyone else feel like this?! Where your house looks pretty clean but when you look in the corners and the skirting boards or in the cupboards it's not!

It takes a lot of effort to keep it at the standard it is.

I follow different cleaning accounts and some of the house look immaculate. Like every inch of the house is sparkling.

As well as that some people I know seem to have effortlessly clean houses. I'm always tidying of cleaning and it is still not clean.

Also, desperately need to decorate but no spare money and no spare time so that's not going to be happening any time soon. My kitchen is old and need a new one.

I just feel down amongst all the insta perfect houses.

I wish I could relax and not worry about it.

To add, I'm not working at the minute but with two kids with sen and a Dp working 12 hours a day, it's hard to find time to deep clean.

I've cleaned all day and just feel like it's not enough!

Stop right there. You're doing a lot as it is OP.

I only pull things out twice a year. Once in spring and once in Autumn when it's warm and husband is a part of that.

I do have a one in and one out policy though. Especially with clothes. I think if you and bloke go through the wardrobes and have a clear out you'll feel better. stop worrying. I'll bet those show homes you look at are all clutter free.

Life is too short to be cleaning your house all the time. I stopped most of my cleaning a while back. I keep on top of the day to day stuff, but honestly my windows are filthy and there's dust on all the ledges and there's tumbleweeds of dog hair in most corners. It didn't take me long to just accept I was never going to live in a show home. People live here, I think it's ok that it looks like we do.

Hopefully that gives you some reassurance that there are other people out there who have been beaten by the sheet volume of cleaning. I accepted I wasn't going to win the war so stopped trying and I'd recommend it. It's freeing.

And I'd stop following the Instagram accounts!! You'll feel a lot better.

(Having said that, lots of accounts on there aout thrifty decorating, like vinyl wrapping your kitchen cupboards, so they might be helpful to find.)

I hear you.
I have 3 children. One who has SEN. A messy DH. 3 cats. My house is so hard to keep on top of.
I also work 30 hours a week over 5 days and feel like I'm constantly trying to get on top of things.
Your house sounds like the standard I'm striving for.
I've heard that some of the Insta Worthy clean homes have professional cleaners in before the photos .
Try to step away from insta and comparing your real life to their for show home.

Thank you. I forgot to mention our dog too. We have a small dog who sheds a lot of hair daily so constantly vacuuming that. Plus Dd has dust mite allergies so need to keep on top of her bedroom!

Cleaning is massively fetishised at the moment, step away from all the instagram accounts chucking zoflora around and you’ll feel better

If you can afford a cleaner for a few hours that might help as they can do a deep clean / the stuff you wouldn’t do

But the main thing is clutter, get some good storage and chuck out anything you don’t use

Deep cleans only really need doing once or twice a year.

I hoover once a week. If there’s dog fur, it can stay there. Life is too short.

I've also heard the little robot hoovers are good. I really want to order one but never seem to find a moment to order it.
That might be life changing for you.

Stop following cleaning accounts. You don’t need to keep your house that clean. No one ever got I’ll from a dusty under-bed. 95% of the population have dusty skirting boards and dusty under beds. But there is a lot a of money to be made by making women feel bad about how clean their house is. The problem is not your dirty house - the problem is your view that it needs to be spotless like on instagram. It won’t be. These people are paid to keep their houses cleaned to an unrealistic standard. You are not. Work on reprogramming your brain and do something more interesting with your life. What would happen if you - instead of hoovering the carpets again - watched a YouTube knitting video, did a yoga video, called an old friend, learned to cook a new dish, read a book with you kids… your children won’t think back fondly of how clean your carpets were. Free yourself!!

Easiest thing to do is just delete Instagram. Then you don't see these people who don't have anything else to do in their lives except clean. It will be much much better for your mental health.

Your house sounds clean enough.

Are the kids happy? Are you and dp happy together? Is the food preparation area clean? Do you all go to school/work etc looking today and presentable?
Get rid of the cleaning accounts - they are all fake and are just there to make the owners lots of money and to make the rest of us feel guilty.
There will plenty of time for a show house once the kids have grown up and gone if that is what you want. You have a home.

Stop looking at the Instagram accounts.They probably have a team of cleaners.

OP - please don't become someone who is obsessed with cleaning! What a waste of a life. Please fight against it.

What are your children doing when you are cleaning or watching videos about cleaning? Spend a bit more time having fun with them, get off this insane treadmill.

Stop following cleaning accounts.

Book a deep clean in with a local company.

Take yourself off for a quiet sit down somewhere.

In that order.

You should see my house. Life's too short for this much cleaning.

Yes I hear you too ,I have a child with severe autism and learning disabilities ,once I have tidied up the chaos he creates and do the washing ,washing up up ,mop the floor there is little time for a deep clean ,we live in a small house ,so have lot of clutter which doesn't help .

Most people with families and busy lives don't have time to keep their homes immaculate. And if they do, they're doing it at the sxpence of something else, exercise, time with the children, reading a good book, relaxing and recharging. No one does it all, people just prioritise what matters most. To me 'deep cleaning' never even came near the top of my list (in fact, I'm sure in the 90s there was no such thing, it was just cleaning as I recall) like you, I kept on top of the day to day, maintained hygiene, and if I spotted something like a grubby skirting board, gave it a wipe there and then. I certainly never worried about dust underneath heavy furniture or in dark corners no one went in or looked at. Now the children are adults my house is very nice and I have time to clean it as much as I like (there's usually some I prefer to be doing though) and don't regret a single day I chose to sit in the sun or go to the park with the children rather than clean behind my sofa.

Don't follow the accounts. You do more than enough!

@A580Hojas

OP - please don't become someone who is obsessed with cleaning! What a waste of a life. Please fight against it.

What are your children doing when you are cleaning or watching videos about cleaning? Spend a bit more time having fun with them, get off this insane treadmill.

Both are in full time school usually but I haven't had time to clean lately as Ds has been on a reduced timetable due to extreme anxiety so not had much time to myself but back things are going back to usual now! Even when they are in school I feel like there's not enough hours in the day amongst other things I have to do! I don't get much done at all at the weekend

This is why I’ll never have instagram. Just do what you can realistically manage each day,
and enjoy your life without letting this quest for perfection steal all your time. Good enough is ok.

I’m very similar to you in my cleaning habits although I’m always behind with the washing up!

It takes an awful lot of work to go from your sort of standards to Instagram standards and it just isn’t worth it. You’d be stressed and your kids would have a stressed mum.

I’m going to implement Flylady zone cleaning when I can be bothered to do some index cards (which I use for all my chores). Focus on one room a week and set the timer for five minutes. You can easily clean behind a sofa in five minutes.

You might have to forget about the decorating….you can do it in the same way for woodwork but emulsion ends up everywhere and can’t be done in five or ten mins a day.

Someone else suggested getting a cleaner in to do the deeper bits. Brilliant idea as long as you can afford it. Once a month or every 6-8 weeks shouldn't be outrageously expensive and it would allow you to remove some pressure from your shoulders and as you say get all the stuff like skirting boards, under furniture etc done.
My Mum drove herself crazy doing housework every day while working full time. When she unfortunately became terminally ill none of us had time to do as much as she had. When she died, we offered to continue but Dad got a cleaner 1 half day per week. Every couple of months she suggested doing the deeper bits. The house has looked just as it did when she was still with us so give yourself some kindness. Life really is to short to blitz clean all the time

My house is not as clean as yours sounds and it never will be until my kids leave home! There's just not enough hours in the day OP, don't make yourself feel bad about it as it's hard enough as it is!

I feel the same as you OP. What I’ve noticed is that when I’m feeling happy I don’t really notice the grime but when I’m already stressed and on edge everything that could be thoroughly cleaned but hasn’t been makes me even more anxious. My old flat mate even used to joke that she knew when my mood was low just before my period because I’d be manically cleaning.

I try to rationalise with myself when I start to obsess over all the things that could be done, and always remember that no one is noticing (and they certainly aren't judging) when they come to your house.

The people who make a living from having a seemingly perfect home and lifestyle don't have a partner sabotaging the wardrobe daily, for a start.

He's an adult. He can deal with his own stuff.

For the kids, having less things to pull out means less to pick up - most things could probably go into lidded plastic tubs in the bottom of the wardrobe anyhow, which will keep them clean if a little creased. On the whole, plastic tubs with lids are much easier because if time is short, you can just put things back in them and shove them back under the bed easily enough - and pull them out if you want to vacuum under there.

And for the other things, it's always better to have small jobs, as you don't notice those as much as a giant task - when vaccuming, nudge the sofa out, vacuum behind, push it back in. Next day, lift the side table, vacuum underneath, put back. Do one window because you're there wiping the sill at the time.

Oven Pride is the quickest thing for dealing with a really dirty oven. That one is a bigger task because you need to put paper down underneath to avoid gloop on the floor, but the actual physical cleaning of the racks is easy (dump in plastic bag with some of the solution) and you aren't scrubbing the inside - use kitchen roll and it all just goes straight into a bin bag. Once you've done it, a quick wipe each day means it doesn't build up into another massive task.

Drop one mopping session. The vacuum will pick up that bit of dust and if you use the little brush attachment, that will get dust off the top of the skirting without getting down and cleaning it. As you've already saved that time, then perhaps wipe over a 1-2m stretch of it when you mop, do the next bit the next day, etc.

Tiny jobs done in a few seconds all build up into making it quicker - there aren't things left to annoy you, there aren't things becoming intensive, difficult jobs, it all looks cleaner quicker.

And break it up into small bursts of activity. Plan sitting down and relaxing. You don't need to spend all day cleaning, if it's how you feel better about your home, give yourself a set time to work in, say from 9-11am in twenty minute bursts and then the afternoon is something else.

I really like clean and nice, but that doesn't mean you have to do a deep clean every day. You need to work efficiently, not constantly.

And stop beating yourself up over it. Your home sounds great - you aren't rich, you don't have cleaners, you have kids and a partner who isn't helping. Which makes you more aspirational than some rich woman with sponsorships will ever be, as she isn't rich because she's good at cleaning, she's rich because she is being paid to sell things to others. That's what she excels at - selling.