My house is never gonna be clean enough.

[Kage30]

I would consider myself a bit of a clean and tidy person generally, like a clean house but my house is far from a show home. I tidy as much as I can with 2 kids with sen, I hoover daily, mop daily, wash the bedding weekly. Bathroom cleaned regularly, laundry kept on top of, sides always wiped, dishes done etc. Clutter is a big trigger for me so try and keep it tidy, laundry away etc.

But I never have time to deep clean and feel guilty about it thinking my house isn't clean enough. Things like cleaning the skirting boards, pulling things out to vacuum underneath, windows etc? I don't dust as often as I should. My oven hasn't been cleaned in months. I need to hoover under the kids beds again as seems to be a hotspot for mess!!

I feel like I'm drowning. Once the basic things are done, I feel like I have little time to 'deep clean'. Wardrobes are a mess as both Dp and the kids just pull things out and drag everything else with it and dump it back in

I'm struggling to keep on top of all the things I would like to do.

Not really an aibu. Buy anyone else feel like this?! Where your house looks pretty clean but when you look in the corners and the skirting boards or in the cupboards it's not!

It takes a lot of effort to keep it at the standard it is.

I follow different cleaning accounts and some of the house look immaculate. Like every inch of the house is sparkling.

As well as that some people I know seem to have effortlessly clean houses. I'm always tidying of cleaning and it is still not clean.

Also, desperately need to decorate but no spare money and no spare time so that's not going to be happening any time soon. My kitchen is old and need a new one.

I just feel down amongst all the insta perfect houses.

I wish I could relax and not worry about it.

To add, I'm not working at the minute but with two kids with sen and a Dp working 12 hours a day, it's hard to find time to deep clean.

I've cleaned all day and just feel like it's not enough!

@thenewduchessoflapland

This is the time when people like Mrs.Hinch do more harm than good.How many of us have felt shite because we don't have an Instagram worthy clean home?

Some of my friends have messy cluttered houses with a thick layer of dust on the skirting boards etc;do I care;not one bit because we are real people with full and extremely busy lives.

FYI I've never gone into anyone's house to inspect their windows or under their beds.

Sounds like you're doing a wonderful job as it is ❤️

Pls Mrs hinch does anything but clean. Made a fortune telling cleaning lies and now doesn't even clean

"there is a lot a of money to be made by making women feel bad about how clean their house is"

So very true.

I haven't cleaned under my bed since the first lockdown and the inside of every cupboard, wardrobe and drawer in here is an absolute riot. Long as the outside is tidy and clean it's fine. You've got better things to do with your life than spend it cleaning!

@ufucoffee

What is this 'pulling things out' you speak of? I've never done it. Nor do I intend to.

It is what most people do when they move house.

OP I've cleaned an oven once in my life, and even then I gave up halfway through. I follow people on social media who make a mess, not those that clean one up.

Honestly, just stop stressing, it is making you ill.

Mine looks like a bombs hit it shortly after I clean it, joy of 6 kids and a dog that sheds loads. Chill out a bit, have a nice brew and a biscuit.

My house gets a surface clean once a week, 2 days later it looks like it was never touched. Bedrooms get done rarely. Skirting boards? Maybe once a year? My cupboards are a disaster.

I work full time, am a single parent of 4, I have a dog and 2 cats. I have a life. Who am I trying to impress? I deleted Instagram as it made me feel like shit. I can’t afford holidays or expensive days out, or new clothes. My house is a mess, so what? My kids and I are happy, we are real, we make mess, we shout, we laugh. Honestly. There are bigger things to worry about.

OP, what do you want on your gravestone? She kept a spotless home? 😂

There's a reason men rarely worry about this stuff. Forget about it and get on with living.

Stop following the cleaning accounts. They’re giving you unrealistic expectations and making you a bit OCD by the sounds of it. A house is to be lived in not to be shown off on Instagram!

Yep. My main bugbear is that I have 2 medium sized dogs in the house who shed constantly and the dust and dog hair and dirt on skirting boards is more than I am willing to stay on top of daily. I hate hoovering, so I bought a robovac (named Dusty) and he hoovers downstairs while I walk the dogs in the morning and then a quick once-over with the mop or steam cleaner takes no time, and he potters about upstairs while I'm working. He picks up an insane quantity of dust and dog hair, and I feel very comfortable to go round once a week and do a quick wipe of skirting boards, bannisters, rubber-brush scrape carpet on the stairs etc. It's really made a big difference and made me feel so much less overwhelmed.

It's such hard work isn't it.

A couple of years ago, I started a system of concentrating on one room a month. I do all my usual daily/weekly cleaning, but the deep cleaning just gets done once a year essentially. Spread over a whole month, I wipe skirtings, windows, light fittings, vacuum under things, tidy in drawers and have a bit of a declutter. Basically, by the end of the month, the room looks great, but it never feels like a big job and it just means 10 minutes here and there when I'm doing other cleaning around the house anyway.

I like a clean and tidy house, but this makes it manageable, and it honestly doesn't feel dirty.

You do more than me.

You need to be able to accept that you can't do everything. And that you must prioritise rather than run yourself to the ground. You are only one person and I guarantee, in a few decades time, no one will care if your skirting boards had dust on them.

Comparison is the thief of joy OP - all those Instagram houses are so clean because the owner either pays someone else to do the dirty work for them or there is nothing else going on in their lives. If those perfect houses sometimes look like a tip you can bet that's when they DON'T get the cameras out. You sound as thought you're doing enough, so please don't obsess about it.

@Kage30

I would consider myself a bit of a clean and tidy person generally, like a clean house but my house is far from a show home. I tidy as much as I can with 2 kids with sen, I hoover daily, mop daily, wash the bedding weekly. Bathroom cleaned regularly, laundry kept on top of, sides always wiped, dishes done etc. Clutter is a big trigger for me so try and keep it tidy, laundry away etc.

But I never have time to deep clean and feel guilty about it thinking my house isn't clean enough. Things like cleaning the skirting boards, pulling things out to vacuum underneath, windows etc? I don't dust as often as I should. My oven hasn't been cleaned in months. I need to hoover under the kids beds again as seems to be a hotspot for mess!!

I feel like I'm drowning. Once the basic things are done, I feel like I have little time to 'deep clean'. Wardrobes are a mess as both Dp and the kids just pull things out and drag everything else with it and dump it back in

I'm struggling to keep on top of all the things I would like to do.

Not really an aibu. Buy anyone else feel like this?! Where your house looks pretty clean but when you look in the corners and the skirting boards or in the cupboards it's not!

It takes a lot of effort to keep it at the standard it is.

I follow different cleaning accounts and some of the house look immaculate. Like every inch of the house is sparkling.

As well as that some people I know seem to have effortlessly clean houses. I'm always tidying of cleaning and it is still not clean.

Also, desperately need to decorate but no spare money and no spare time so that's not going to be happening any time soon. My kitchen is old and need a new one.

I just feel down amongst all the insta perfect houses.

I wish I could relax and not worry about it.

To add, I'm not working at the minute but with two kids with sen and a Dp working 12 hours a day, it's hard to find time to deep clean.

I've cleaned all day and just feel like it's not enough!

Haven't rtft but could you scale mopping back to once a week rather than daily? Or even every alternative day (for rooms that really need a daily mop)? You are already doing so much already, especially keeping on top of clutter. Well done you!

Don't feel guilty, a deep clean should be done once or twice a year at most. I deep clean once a year, no more than that. As for cleaning the skirting boards, I do them at most once a week. Even then my cleaning consists of spraying a bit of polish onto a duster on an extension pole and wiping it over the boards. I also only clean the inside my oven every 6 months, using Oven pride (its messy, lay down some newspaper on the floor).

Can the kids help with some of the cleaning? Would they be able to cope with keeping their rooms clean? Or hoovering under the bed? As for DP, he should absolutely do something to help. Even if he takes charge of keeping the wardrobes tidy. I would be so cross with him if he kept messing the wardrobe and not tidying up after himself.

As for following cleaning insta accounts, please remember they are there to sell you a dream/aspiration. Some of these cleaners are at home all the time with no kids, some have cleaners and some rope in their family members to do the cleaning as well. They are great for tips, recommendations and inspo but like anything they are gonna show you an idealised version of their life.

If you are looking for a realistic cleaning routine that maximises your cleaning but minimises the burden on you, try the organised mom method or the FLYlady method (I prefer FLYlady but had good results with both). Both emphasize that doing 15-45 mins a day is enough and that your home will not become immaculate overnight.

I think loads of usage in the same boat as you OP.

I do have 1 thing I try and do: just 15 minutes per week sorting/decluttering 1 drawer OR one cupboard OR one shelf OR under 1 bed . . . you catch my drift

By next Christmas you'll be in better control of your stuff. Christmas seems like ages away but better late than never!

Don't be sucked in OP.
I dust once in a blue moon, hoover weekly, oven cleaned once a year )( I do keep a foil lined tray in the bottom to catch stray food).
Skirting boards get dusted just befor being painted- which is rare. Hovvering under beds only happens if there is a change of furniture.
I work, I care for others, I have spare time.
In my spare time I do yoga, plant seeds, walk in the forest, meditate, feed birds, massage my feet, laugh and eat with my family.
I don't give headspace to dust under the bed.
Life is too precious.

How about cleaner for one off deep clean?

OP I could have written your post word for word. Even down to having the small dog that sheds a lot.

I never feel as though my home is clean and tidy enough even though I feel as though I never stop cleaning and tidying it. It's never pristine and I'd love it to be - skirting boards are dusty (or just generally need a good repaint), doors can be dirty (or again need a painting over), oven gets dirty within just a few uses. I also feel as though I try and be clutter-free and yet I look around me and there are things everywhere.

I don't really have anything to suggest and am only really adding to the thread to say I feel the exact same so it's not just you.

I only deep clean in November ready for Christmas!! Takes a good 3 hours just to vaccum the whole house here.... On my days off? No thanks.
No dc died from a mucky skirting board.
Plenty of time to clean when they have left home. And given they won't be there to make mess your job is instantly easier!! Isn't there a saying about tidying up when you have dc being like sweeping snow while it is still snowing?

I have some fantastic dust bunnies under my bedroom furniture, no one has sasthma so as far as I am concerned they can stay there.
I know it seems like a race to the bottom us saying how much we don't do but it is true that life is too short to worry about cleaning.
I had a friend who cleaned her entire house from top to bottom every day and I remember her ringing me to say she was bringing me something and feeling bad because I hadn't washed the dishes from the night before so I hid them in the oven, ridiculous. Unfortunately she died from cancer in her early fifties and I always feel sorry that she spent so much of her life cleaning.

It’s hard for me to advise because I just don’t spend that much time cleaning. I work 30 hours a week and that justifies my cleaner for two hours a week. Bathroom and kitchen are clean, laundry done, cupboards stocked with food. Anything else gets done one it looks dirty, my standards aren’t that high so not often. I hate cleaning though and would rather give time and head space to my kids, I have one with ASD who needs lots of talking through things and reassurance. Your kids will not remember the state of your house unless it is extremely cluttered and dirty which yours isn’t. Delete Instagram. What good is it doing you? I’ve never had an account so thankfully never seen Mrs Hinch etc. You do not need it in your life.

Mine is the same, and I don't even have kids at home! So don't feel bad about it - it's clean enough.

I'd love a pristine house but I have never managed to have one as my desire for that is generally overwhelmed by my dislike of cleaning and a voice in my head telling me that essentially a lot of it is a waste of precious time, and infuriatingly it all needs to be done again only a few hours / days / weeks later.

My DH is the messiest person I've ever met, my late teen kids take after him and so it's a constant battle against the things that accumulate everywhere, which means before cleaning, things generally need to be tidied up, so making the whole exercise even more protracted. Our house is quite large too, so keeping on top of every room weekly is impossible. I no longer bother with the kid's bedrooms other than to rescue crockery etc - they do eventually tidy up themselves but it can be not for weeks or months. Instead we focus most on the kitchen, bathroom, living room and our bedroom, plus hoovering the hall / stairs etc.

Actually DH has finally stepped up a bit after 30 or so years and now keeps the kitchen tidy, which I am really appreciating. I work 4 long days and it used to be that every morning I'd tidy the kitchen before work, only to find the sides heaped with stuff when I returned. Nagging others to do it usually took more energy than doing it myself........

To be honest, I make sure we have the basics: clean clothes (only iron my own), clean bedding, enough food and ensure that nothing is too disgusting. Other stuff can wait. As for a deep clean - hardly ever. On the whole our house looks presentable -ish and we do muster the motivation to do better if anyone comes round (rare since conid struck), so I don't think we have a terrible reputation in general.

Sounds like you are trying too hard OP. When my kids were little I took them out a lot so I could focus on them and not spend my time either trying to do chores or failing to, but feeling bad about what needed doing.

I once ran a finger through the dust in a friend's home and she sometimes still mentions it but the truth is I was delighted that her house was NOT pristine. No judgement from me!

Somebody (who might have been me) once bought me a tea towel with the message 'My house is clean enough to be safe, and dirty enough to be happy'. I felt that was a lesson for life.

No ones home has to be insta ready but clean and tidy where possible is always a good goal.

I think when a house is tired, and in need of a lick of paint, it often doesn’t have that fresh look you maybe looking for.

This is the second thread I have seen today about women driven to the brink of anxiety by ludicrously unrealistic, commercially driven Instagram influencers who get paid to be professional Stepford Wives.

It’s as if feminism never happened.

I despair that people have been reduced to feeling anxiety about not doing enough deep cleans.

OP: what you are seeking is an illusion and it will drive you mad if you continue down this road. Just step away from this.