Being called "Debs"

[ValerieCupcake]

We have had a new director appointed. She is I assume named Deborah, but calls herself Debs.

AIBU to feel I would be taken less seriously by using this as my name in a high level professional role? I think it is too "Twee And Cutesy"!

[quote AllThingsServeTheBeam]@ValsCupcake this thread is not going well for you[/quote]
Doesn't worry me! Happy Friday! Have a cupcake!

Seriously? Hopefully this is a reverse.

Why does it? No idea what you mean.

You attendant is that someone calling themselves Debs Isn't being taken seriously, or to your way of thinking wouldn't be taken seriously. But based on the fact that she has just been appointed director of whatever your agency is, she is being taken seriously. That invalidates your argument.

Maggie Thatcher was not known as Mags.

So?

Her real name was Margaret. Why is "Maggie" okay but "Mags" isn't?

@Purpleavocado

I can't help but think the assertiveness programs you went on were a little old school. I'd imagine them advising you to 'dress for your next role' etc. It's okay for women (and men) to be taken seriously, without having a severe haircut and serious name, as long as they do their job well.

Agreed.

Will you just look at that newbie in the corner wearing ear pods, messy hair, ripped jeans, trainers and sunglasses indoors.
Do the interns have no standards, tut!!
Oh, it’s the new CEO, err sorry didn’t realise, ahem.

How people look these days just isn’t relevant vs even 10-15 years ago..
If they’re good at what they do, then they’re good at what they do.

And annoyed by the name Debs?!?
FFS, you sound like a frump.
But seeing as you’ve said you wouldn’t voice this out loud, rest assured nobody really cares and you’ve not exposed your narrow mindedness. Your secret is safe.

Those words do indeed mean what you describe, @ValerieCupcake, but jealous is a bit more nuanced than that, having the further meaning of not just possessiveness or envy, but also resentment and bitterness towards someone who has something we'd like or feel we deserve.

Sorry you're taking a bit of a pasting here, but you did ask for opinions!

Don't shit your pants but I know someone very successful and respectful that calls herself Debz

Argument 🙄

This is such a funny thread.

Well that's really scraping the barrel to find a reason to pull down another woman OP. On the plus side, I take it she passed muster on her appearance, style, weight, age, accent and lifestyle if you managed to get as far as her name to find fault with her.

reminds me of a jilly cooper quote that janey had friends called dick and fanny.

at least she's not debs with a /z/

My old CEO was called Vicky. Should we have all called her Victoria? Tbh we all referred to her as Queen Vic when she werent around tbh all the senior females had shortened names

Why does it matter to you. Perfectly fine

@SpottyStripyDuvet

I think that you should stop making assumptions about people based on their names. That says more about you than her choice of name says about her.

Totally agree.

A name doesn't make someone unprofessional or professional - that's on the individual concerned.

I can't believe you actually started a thread on this topic.

The person to not take seriously is you OP.

To be fair, it probably has led to her being taken less seriously than certain other colleagues. I'd maybe suggest to her she starts going by Dave or Dan. It'll be a game changer. (Until they speak to her or meet her in person).

On several assertiveness programmes I have been on we have been told not to do this as it makes you look less professional when women strive to be taken seriously.

If this is a snippet of the type of advice these courses were providing I would say their content was terribly outdated.

At least it’s Debs - imagine the horror if she was Debz.

Don't be so ridiculous.

What people are called or what they choose to be called is surely their own business. Do you have these feelings about people with non-English names that have different connotations in English?

Maybe you should give shortening your name a go, you might make director too one day. Although I would hope you had a bit more respect for others if you did.

I've known a few men and women who've talen themselves very seriously and insisted on the full versions of names that are usually/often shortened. I'd say without exception they were people of very little substance who were never going very far regardless of what they were called

I know a Rabbi called Bex, and feel the same. She's a great rabbi, but... Bex?? Her full name is Rebekah, which is so strong and serious!

@dottydodah

I seem to remember Deborah Meaden being most affronted when called "Debs" in a Dragons Den episode! I agree in a professional role you would expect a more formal greeting ,However if your lady wishes for this name the thats up to her I guess ,She feels comfortable with it . As others have said it hasnt held her back at all.

But that was because she doesn't call herself a shortened version of her name. For someone else to decide to do that, uninvited is just rude. Especially as they were there looking for money.

You want someone to invest in your business - at least learn their name.

She's a great rabbi, but... Bex??

If she's already a great Rabbi, how could using a different name help?

Don't worry about Debs not being taken seriously. You should worry that your unprofessional views might mean people don't take you seriously though.