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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder about the fetishisation of cleaning?

277 replies

Skelligsfeathers · 17/03/2022 22:36

Cleaning and housework used to be just that. A necessary evil which most people did but didn't enjoy.
Now however, it seems to be a hobby almost for some people and the standards expected of people's homes seem to be insanely high.
Endless videos on social media of people pouring multiple chemicals into already pristine sinks. Grown adults getting excited about cleaning cloths and different fragrances of disinfectant.
TV shows where people who are obviously ill with OCD are paraded as being somehow morally superior to others because they spend hours every day cleaning already clean houses....

I just don't get it.
Is it all just another way of making money?
Or is it saying something deeper about our society?

OP posts:
fairylightsandwaxmelts · 18/03/2022 08:20

@Bagelsandbrie I was going to mention that - it's been going for a good few years now too.

Also a lot of the cleaners on "Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners" were male.

Xpologog · 18/03/2022 08:20

There was a programme on the other night, swapping council houses ( as in permanent swap) The houses were immaculate, sparkly, everything looked new. Light coloured curtains and carpets —- how do these stay pristine? I felt so depressed about my house, not cluttered or dirty ( tho how does a dog moult so much???) but always an element of a bit scruffy, in a mismatched sort of way.

Incognito32 · 18/03/2022 08:23

Not new. You only need look at Good Housekeeping magazine back in 1950s....

But anyway....Judgy much?

Is there nothing that women won't criticise other women of? Live and let live for goodness sake

AngelinaFibres · 18/03/2022 08:24

@fairylightsandwaxmelts

I think the whole idea of control and no hobbies is somewhat patronising.

People generally come out with stuff like that because it makes them feel better about why they don't like cleaning.

And why they are currently living in a very dirty house
FTEngineerM · 18/03/2022 08:24

@5128gap not MrsH size but @cleaningwithmario is quite big and there are a few others but I can’t remember off the top of my head.

Proudboomer · 18/03/2022 08:28

Fetish cleaning? I clean because I like to live in a clean environment. I find it more worrying about the number of people who seem to be proud to not clean as they seem to be so busy with their hobbies and work/leisure balance.

Teastheword · 18/03/2022 08:32

@Josette77

Generations of women took pride in a clean home. I love a clean organized home.I have hobbies, I'm an artist, but I find it meditative and calming. I'm curious why clean homes and people who clean are looked down as boring or caving to pressure. Lots of enjoy it.
Yes that is true. But I think the OP is talking about people who "clean" things that aren't dirty and use lots of unnecessary and dangerous chemicals to do it
Piglet89 · 18/03/2022 08:34

My mum was a primary school teacher in west Belfast in the 80s. The kids used to come in and say how their mums were having the house redecorated with new wallpaper every year, just before Christmas, if I remember.

We had the same wallpaper in our house for practically the entire time I lived there until I was 18!

Sailorsusan · 18/03/2022 08:34

Same as @LakieLady

My mother was a SAHM when we were young and washed terry nappies every day with no tumble drier, etc. She was particular about kitchen surfaces and did the bathrooms each week on a Sunday. But there is no way she loved doing it. She would have just done it. She had standards but there is no way she'd have spent hour scrubbing a sink unless it actually needed doing. My Dad used to hoover/dust at weekends.

PierresPotato · 18/03/2022 08:35

If you go back a generation (or three now tbh!) men like my dad who had mostly all done National Service could be quite hot on cleaning, majorly focussing on shiny shoes and pressed shirts of course. But there was also a clean it up and never leave a dirty mess attitude all round.
He did the hoovering on a weekend too. Mind you between work and home he didn't have a hobby ..

MsItchy · 18/03/2022 08:36

I used to work with a woman who had no kids (she had a partner and dog) who finished work at 2pm (she started early) then went home to clean her house, every day. I think she had an obsession.

I wish I was someone who cleaned more but I have suspected ADHD and it all builds up around me. I've got a house proud friend visiting tonight and I will need to hide stuff and clean a bit before she arrives!

PierresPotato · 18/03/2022 08:36

I agree all the chemicals are nuts.

Sailorsusan · 18/03/2022 08:37

Me too @Piglet89 Grin

valerianaofficiana · 18/03/2022 08:38

It's a mystery, OP, I can think of bazillion fetishes that are more enjoyable and interesting 😈
I'd be so happy to find a cleaner with such fetish, sadly, in our neck of the woods, cleaners are clearly not affected by it🥸

EdithGrantham · 18/03/2022 08:39

I think someone mentioned this but I can't find it now. What's the difference between having cleaning and gardening as a hobby. Both are necessary, neither are ever "finished", it's possible to outsource both if you have the funds and inclination. Is the only difference that gardening was historically more typically done by men so we have been conditioned to see it as more worthy?

Piglet89 · 18/03/2022 08:42

@Sailorsusan really fascinating a PP said her abiding childhood memory of her mum is scrubbing/cleaning at the sink.

Mine is of my mum in bed surrounded by her papers, studying for a masters. She was a mad-dash-cleaning-before-people-visited mum; I recall her getting a nasty electric shock when she took a damp cloth to the plug sockets in one such effort.

She also ironed everything; our clothes haven’t seen an iron forever - life’s too short.

I’m an only child and our house was the house my wee pals from the street came to to drag out the dressing up box and play. My mum really didn’t care about mess that much! She was all about learning through play, I think. (My mum’s big into the importance of education and learning!!!!)

Sailorsusan · 18/03/2022 08:43

Just my personal opinion but gardening involves quite a lot of knowledge and creativity. Maybe that's the difference?

Not judging either way. I need to do more of both.

Bagelsandbrie · 18/03/2022 08:43

[quote fairylightsandwaxmelts]@Bagelsandbrie I was going to mention that - it's been going for a good few years now too.

Also a lot of the cleaners on "Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners" were male.[/quote]
Yep it really isn’t a male / female thing. My son aged 10 is obsessed with Filthy House SOS - he has autism and learning disabilities and would literally sit there watching it all day and folds all our tea towels in perfectly straight lines Confused It helps to relax him.

LaurieFairyCake · 18/03/2022 08:44

It's mad, I don't get it at all

It's a mix of women being pressured and taking it on to have some control of their lives

Whatever it is, it's NOT good for mental health

I clean about an hour a week (maybe). I just don't care. I couldn't do any more minimal cleaning. If people are coming round Dh and I will give it a really good clean - but that's once every few months.

BlueBellsArePretty · 18/03/2022 08:44

Agree with @FoxyFoxyLoxy hate cleaning with a passion so got a cleaner. She comes once a week and it's so liberating not to have to worry about now.

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 18/03/2022 08:46

I like a clean and tidy house but have a ft job, am a single parent and have a dog.

I like to think I'm finding the balance between a clean house and a home you can relax in!!

I went to a colleague's house once and it was honestly the cleanest house I've ever been in but I was afraid to sit down for fear of making a mess.

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 18/03/2022 08:48

@EdithGrantham

I think someone mentioned this but I can't find it now. What's the difference between having cleaning and gardening as a hobby. Both are necessary, neither are ever "finished", it's possible to outsource both if you have the funds and inclination. Is the only difference that gardening was historically more typically done by men so we have been conditioned to see it as more worthy?
Yes there isn't much difference really, I love gardening and in the spring and summer having a beautiful garden trumps having a clean house!! I'd much rather be out in the garden.
Sailorsusan · 18/03/2022 08:51

@Piglet89 my DM also studied for a masters and our house was very 'lived in' regards toys etc. I also remember that it didn't matter too much if I spilled Ribena on the carpet because it was a dated 70s red swirly one Smile

DM enjoyed ironing far more than cleaning but I can't remember the last time I ironed anything... As you say, life is too short Grin

SickAndTiredAgain · 18/03/2022 08:52

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with enjoying cleaning, but I hate the wastefulness of some of it.
I know someone who wipes down every surface in her living room with antibacterial wipes every single day. It generates so much rubbish, plus it’s totally unnecessary - how much bacteria is the tv stand/bookcase/mantelpiece really harbouring 24 hours after it was last cleaned.

crispmidnightpeace · 18/03/2022 08:54

Wow, what a question? Of course it is both. One might suggest it's vacuous and I know just the videos you mean, what about putting the little balls into glass jars? I saw those little balls in the shop and just thought hm more microscopic carcinogens flying about? Perhaps I'll just put up with the smell of cat fur and coffee.

On the one hand it's great to enjoy mundane tasks. My duties as the lower earner and main child-rearer have become quite heavy on cleaning since we ironed out all the duties and it involves a 7 hour clean once a month and a 2 hour clean every week, that’s just to keep it manageable and then it's just constant dish collecting, laundry collecting, laundry doing, drying, putting away. I cook 1 – 3 meals a day for three people and I work from home and educate my daughter at home including lots of activities.

I'm busy. I live up my downtime but if I can also enjoy my tasks surely that’s a bonus. So I do watch those videos and they put me in the mood for cleaning. Enjoyment of these bits of puff are much more preferable to me than the alternative which is misery.

The home needs to be cleaned and my husband doesn't have the time nor the skills. Money needs to be earned and I do not have the inclination for full-time work. So this is our compromise and although I am unlikely to buy tiny beads of chemically-induced powerful smells, I will drink a coffee whilst watching a taloned headless lady pour them into a glass jar for motivation.

Hey, whatever works.