To wonder about the fetishisation of cleaning?

[Skelligsfeathers]

Cleaning and housework used to be just that. A necessary evil which most people did but didn't enjoy.
Now however, it seems to be a hobby almost for some people and the standards expected of people's homes seem to be insanely high.
Endless videos on social media of people pouring multiple chemicals into already pristine sinks. Grown adults getting excited about cleaning cloths and different fragrances of disinfectant.
TV shows where people who are obviously ill with OCD are paraded as being somehow morally superior to others because they spend hours every day cleaning already clean houses....

I just don't get it.
Is it all just another way of making money?
Or is it saying something deeper about our society?

I'm a masochist so always attracted to the cleaning threads. I've said on here before but my DC have (what used to be called) severe additional needs. They literally just undo everything. I try my best but do get upset when I think everyone else has a nice clean home.

I follow Knee Deep In Life on Instagram because she makes me feel like a normal person.

Also, I think it was Germaine Greer who said something about women being conditioned to have hobbies such as cleaning and self care beauty rituals which suspiciously benefit other people (usually men).

On the contrary I can see how the repetitive nature of it helps mental health.

"suggest some people don’t clean because they have ‘more important’ things to do. I find that a bit odd. You wouldn’t skip brushing your teeth just because you were busy with academia.

My parents were well educated, had four children, four dogs and both worked full time. My dad mopped and hoovered all the floors at 5am every day. I was taught that keeping a clean environment was part of looking after the well-being of everyone in your household. Cleaning is just something non-negotiable that DH and I have to fit in to our routine.

I have a few friends who live in untidy houses and claim scornfully that they have more important things to do than clean. In reality, they just can’t be bothered."

Or alternatively they choose to use their time differently to how you would use time.

There are multiple threads on here about neighbours who do washing/hoovering at antisocial times. And almost all posters call said neighbour selfish and say they should be reported. Hoovering at 5am just isn't doable unless you live in a semi detached house or you don't care you are disturbing others.

There are only so many hours in a day - of course people prioritise the things that are important to them. For some that will be cleaning and for others it will be something else.

Personally I think it’s a load of patriarchy bullshit. Another way of making women and yes it is predominantly women feel not good enough. No freaking way. Good enough is good enough. I wonder what Betty Frieden would make of this?

If anyone enjoys cleaning videos on YouTube I recommend Aurikatariina.

She is a young lady from Finland who enjoys visiting homes where the occupant has been having a tough time and the mess has got too much for them.

She doesn't charge for what she does but is sponsored by various companies.

What's surprising is that she mainly uses fairy liquid as her cleaning product.

She's so lovely. ☺️

@Comtesse

Personally I think it’s a load of patriarchy bullshit. Another way of making women and yes it is predominantly women feel not good enough. No freaking way. Good enough is good enough. I wonder what Betty Frieden would make of this?

You are making women feel not good enough. This thread is making women feel not good enough. Sneering at women who want to clean their homes - and lots of reasons have been given for that - and describing them as boring, vacuous Stepford Wives makes those women feel not good enough. We are our own worst enemy.

@SummerOfComedy

If anyone enjoys cleaning videos on YouTube I recommend Aurikatariina.

She is a young lady from Finland who enjoys visiting homes where the occupant has been having a tough time and the mess has got too much for them.

She doesn't charge for what she does but is sponsored by various companies.

What's surprising is that she mainly uses fairy liquid as her cleaning product.

She's so lovely. ☺️

I love her, she does amazing work. I also like her attitude - she's so kind and compassionate, no judgement from her whatsoever.

Also fairy liquid is used in my house for like 80% of all my cleaning jobs. It's fabulous and when its on offer, better value than own brand.

@Comtesse

Personally I think it’s a load of patriarchy bullshit. Another way of making women and yes it is predominantly women feel not good enough. No freaking way. Good enough is good enough. I wonder what Betty Frieden would make of this?

Spot on.

I wouldn't mind cleaning if things that had been cleaned stayed that way. But of course they don't, so to me it is completely tedious. I mean I'll happily redecorate the whole house, happily dig and plant up the garden as those will really make a long term difference - but cleaning something that will just need doing again the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that is just tedious IMO.

@twominutesmore there is an awful lot of projection going on there. As there has been in all your posts. I winder if it is worthwhile having a think about why that might be.

@Comtesse

Personally I think it’s a load of patriarchy bullshit. Another way of making women and yes it is predominantly women feel not good enough. No freaking way. Good enough is good enough. I wonder what Betty Frieden would make of this?

I imagine Betty Friedan would be appalled that — given the far wider opportunities, educational and professional, and legislation promoting equality etc that today’s women in developed countries have access to/benefit from compared to her 1950s focus groups —so many women are still buying into/socialised into the ‘feminine mystique’. She’d probably be interested in the role of Instagram and influencers in this, and she’d definitely be on Mn, reading Housekeeping and Relationships with horrified fascination at how little has changed.

@Goatinthegarden Jesus, who wants to mop floors at 5 in the morning when you could be sleeping? Completely extreme: your parents must have been bloody knackered.

Some of this this thread is getting like that competitive working class sketch where people were claiming the lived in a “hole in’t road”.

Thanks for this thread, OP. You have articulated the feelings of unease I have about competitive social media cleaning.

I can't believe people on this thread watch videos of other women cleaning. It must be like watching paint dry.

@SoItWas, not your DM but I'm sure I'd like her.

I follow one of these accounts on tik tok and there are hundreds of comment from people living with adhd or mental health conditions who talk about how these channels make cleaning a much easier and more doable task for them.

I’m not talking about the channels that stuff their toilets full of 7 different types of bleach, but the ones who break down cleaning tasks by each room.

Really disagree with some of the comments on here about these channels being patriarchal, or that the people who watch them have no hobbies. Some people just don’t know, or care, what is going on in other peoples lives or minds.

I absolutely love cleaning, always have. I have adhd and find it therapeutic.

I think that in generations past where many women worked as SAHM, the home was their pride and joy . It was where they got their validation from and a spotless home was deemed the ultimate, among the neighbours.Their showpiece.

Ime, that's has changed somewhat but there is still a huge hangover from the past as seen on many cleaning insta posts.
My friends and I who work full time outside consider cleaning to be the greatest waste of time ever known.

[quote Skelligsfeathers]@twominutesmore there is an awful lot of projection going on there. As there has been in all your posts. I winder if it is worthwhile having a think about why that might be.[/quote]
I think you might not know what projection means.

I stumbled on this thread and found it extremely mean-spirited. Plenty of women on this thread have explained why they like cleaning, why they follow sm posts about cleaning and so on.

How do you think it might make them feel to read some of the descriptions ascribed to them on here? I cba to trawl the thread again but some pretty cruel comments have been thrown about.

Ah, tis the season for this particular thread. I had to check the date, it was so uncannily similar to threads previous. . .

I like cleaning. I'm good at it. I do what I want to do, when I want to do it. I'm the person people come to when they're readying their house for sale, or to sort out before they leave a rental. If other people clean, good for them. If other people don't (so long as it's not a hazard to their health or others), good for them.

I don't check other peoples' skirting boards for whether they've cleaned them and judge them if they haven't. Equally, I'd appreciate it if people didn't check whether I've cleaned my skirting boards, and judge me for having done so.

I account myself a feminist, and really don't give too much of a shiny shit if people think I can't be a feminist because to their way of thinking, I clean too much.

I find cleaning very dull. It is something that needs to be done but to me, there are far more interesting things in life.

Most cleaning advertising seems to be aimed at women, particularly those who don't understand that constantly bleaching their home and coating it in chemicals isn't very healthy. I'd rather go to work than clean tbh, maybe one day I'll be able to outsource my cleaning to a cleaner!

I don't ever remember DM making any noise or fuss about cleaning?
She just did it?
I remember the hoover but not wild cleansing and it's quite a large house.
It never seemed dirty though!
I can't understand the fuss some people make about it. the extreme cleaners I know are varying from extreme anxiety which manifest itself in cleaning. someone else with nothing better to do and Feel's morally superior, and others who have no hobbies or interests.

Other people are shoes on, have a good social life and brain life And manage to keep a tidy clean house without fuss.

I've just mentioned on the other cleaning thread this; cleaning that goes too far is just as intrusive into all the house occupants as drugs, alcoholic abuse , hording.
It's an extreme and very damaging for children.

Anyone who cleans obsessively should seek help .

Mmm. I have hobbies and interests. I don't make a fuss. But I have grown very weary of cleaning. I used to think nothing of it in my thirties and forties when I had lots of energy. But now I am in my late fifties I have taken a sudden and intense dislike to it, having taken responsibility for it for nearly 30 years of married life. Suddenly I can't stand the drudgery and repetition. I am throwing out everything at the moment. Then I will be hiring in some help.

@THisbackwithavengeance

Thanks for this thread, OP. You have articulated the feelings of unease I have about competitive social media cleaning.

I can't believe people on this thread watch videos of other women cleaning. It must be like watching paint dry.

It's a good thing you're not being forced to watch them then

I find my DH watching videos about his hobbies mind numbingly boring too, so I just take myself off into another room and do something else.

I don't do what many on here have done and fling insults at him.

I like to watch cleaning videos, such as Inspired by Nikki and MindBodySoul of Homemaking, but my family think it is boring. Although they watch plenty of boring stuff ...............