To wonder about the fetishisation of cleaning?

[Skelligsfeathers]

Cleaning and housework used to be just that. A necessary evil which most people did but didn't enjoy.
Now however, it seems to be a hobby almost for some people and the standards expected of people's homes seem to be insanely high.
Endless videos on social media of people pouring multiple chemicals into already pristine sinks. Grown adults getting excited about cleaning cloths and different fragrances of disinfectant.
TV shows where people who are obviously ill with OCD are paraded as being somehow morally superior to others because they spend hours every day cleaning already clean houses....

I just don't get it.
Is it all just another way of making money?
Or is it saying something deeper about our society?

And I'd be redoing it every day as well when the kids came in and mixed it all up.

Patriarchy + capitalism = fetishisation of cleaning aimed primarily at women and girls.

Look I love a sparkly new product, a new scented one or a funky cloth or sponge as much as the next one. But there is a darker side to this, where women and girls especially are being targeted to be good little housewives, have their mental health problems minimised and made into memes, and a lot of the time it's targeting the poorer women to spend lots of cash on something which shouldn't cost much money at all. It costs a lot to have a perfect grey home. It puts a pressure on people to have perfect homes, whilst balancing all their other responsibilities. It can cause low self esteem for people who don't do it, or anxiety and stress to constantly keep to high standards for those that do. It's a mixed bag, because I know there is a therapeutic element to housework. But when it's a big movement it can become damaging, exploitative and be weaponised to keep women down in a patriarchal society.

@DillDanding

I do find those women who become obsessed not just with cleaning, but with decanting everything they can get their hands on into a glass jar with a label so it all looks uniform in the cupboard or utility room, very odd indeed. Or arranging cookies into a Fibonacci spiral in a jar - it’s peculiar.

On world book day I saw a few photos on SM of little girls who’d gone into school dressed as Mrs Hinch. Now that’s depressing.

The decanting thing is insane. It's also a hazard with children as if they ingest anything the first thing the poison line will ask you to do is read the box.

Our nanny agency specifically instructed us that all poisons (detergent, washing powder etc) had to be kept in its original packaging, such that our home would not pass their safety standards if it didn't.

My mother wasn’t houseproud and didn’t enjoy cleaning but did what needed to be done. My Dad helped even though this was the 60s. DH’s mum was incredibly houseproud and spent all the school holidays cleaning (teacher) to the point where her friend said “really Mary have you bought that house or has it bought you?” DH reacted against all of this and isn’t houseproud either though does what’s necessary from hygiene point of view as do I.

Disagree. It's long been a traditionally working class thing to have an ostentatiously clean home ("Just because we're poor doesn't mean we're dirty"). Look at all those old pictures of working class women scrubbing doorsteps - and even the pavements - outside their terraced houses. Rich people had maids to do it for them (the modern word is "a cleaner") but show off their status with ostentatious and expensive furnishings instead.
The difference is than in the 21st century we post it on Instagram.

@Alonelonelylonersbadidea

Frantic cleaning is something I do when I am stressed or anxious or also just down.

My MiL is an obsessive cleaner who is married to an arsehole for 40 years, I often wonder if there's a connection for her too.

I definitely agree that there is a connection between cleaning and mind stress today. If you are cleaning and organising a cupboard then you are not thinking or you are avoiding thinking about something else.

It is of course fuelled by Mrs Hinch and all the Zoflora shite.

As class has already been mentioned I have always found that the wealthier people are the more "relaxed" they are about cleaning. When you have very little you look after it . My Mum was part of the red doorstep brigade - to quote her " it doesn't cost much to be clean" .

@LaurieFairyCake

It's mad, I don't get it at all

It's a mix of women being pressured and taking it on to have some control of their lives

Whatever it is, it's NOT good for mental health

I clean about an hour a week (maybe). I just don't care. I couldn't do any more minimal cleaning. If people are coming round Dh and I will give it a really good clean - but that's once every few months.

So because you don't get it, it must automatically be bad for peoples mental health?

Why can you not just say "I don't get it" without the put down?

There's a brilliant book about the philosophy of cleaning/housekeeping that I really recommend for anyone interested in this stuff. It's by Cheryl Mendelson. Let me just Google what it's called (rather than go upstairs to check)

Yes, cleaning as a hobby and people getting giddy about whatever products Insta cleaning 'influencers' are promoting is a befuddling thing.

'Home Comforts' it's called.

To be fair it's not new. It's lifestyle and advertising and that sort of approach has filled magazines traditionally aimed at women for decades.

When I was growing up planning a visit or calling ahead wasn’t a thing, if you wanted to see someone you would just turn up and the same for them. If you were already in the area it was considered rude to not call in and say hello to a relative!

I think I was running on a low level of anxiety as a child. I know this is an extreme example, but I never had my own time or space growing up. My parents was constantly like the house in Home Alone, just people in and out. I was expected to sit and socialise with my parents friends when I’d much rather be just chilling out in my room.

I think it’s why I hate people just turning up unannounced now, think I was traumatised!

Are some of these 'extremists' the ones who became compulsive hand washers in peak Covid. couldn't walk past a hand sanitiser without using it.
A peck of dirt...etc

@NurseBernard

Interesting, isn’t it?

Want to be a social media influencer, but don’t actually have any talents / skills / natural flair? Clean your house. Call yourself Mrs His-surname, and you’ve rounded out the good little wifey role nicely.

Because it’s always, always women. Isn’t it? Men aren’t cleaning influencers, because cleaning, for most people is just mundane, necessary shitwork.

I don’t like the pressure it puts on women, either.

I think it's more that the woman in the family, naturally being the child bearer, feeder, and rearer throughout history, mainly because of biology, the cleaning also falls to her because she is the one in the house as the man then takes the role of earner.

This is how it works in our family and in many, perhaps even most, families, and there's nothing wrong with that.

I always see it as a control/anxiety thing. The main target are stay at home wives or mothers. It's clear from reading mumsnet for just a few hours that this demographic often struggles with feelings of lack of control/empowerment and have anxiety and depression. It's a coping mechanism.

I know people who just either enjoy the process, love the results and/or find it cathartic. Nothing to do with social media as I don't think they even use it. And for some people it is a psychological obsession, where they can't sleep unless they've vacuumed themselves in to bed for example.
But what you are talking about - I think it's just another thing people can post about, like special diets or exercise regimes or make up routines.

I hate cleaning and generally think that those who clean constantly are wasting their lives and could be doing something far more fun. My cleaner has been off for 3 weeks and I have done no cleaning at all.

@James83

Are some of these 'extremists' the ones who became compulsive hand washers in peak Covid. couldn't walk past a hand sanitiser without using it. A peck of dirt...etc

That Drake meme:

disease-preventing microbiome?

carcinogen directly into porous skin

Any ‘fetishisation’ is surely down to Instagram and the likes of Mrs Hinch - neither of which I’ve ever looked at.

IMO you’re either born enjoying cleaning, or you’re not. Some people are OCD about cleaning/excessive hygiene - maybe they don’t actually enjoy it, but have to do it.

I wish I was the type who was born to enjoy it! To me it’s a tediously repetitive chore that I tend to put off as long as possible - I’d rather be doing almost anything else.

I do like the look of it after a good blitz, though.

I love having a proper clean house.

Show home clean.

Doesn't stress me out doing it, it doesn't take "hours", and it's not bloody unwelcoming either thank you very much.

It's 10 minutes here and there. The kids do their rooms, arguably not to my standards, but it's THEIR room, I'll blitz it once a month.

This morning I did the bathroom, 10 minutes and done....because in between it gets a wipe down every day, so a 10/15 minute blitz whilst DH drops the youngest at school, means it's sparkling.

I have plenty of other hobbies.

However, I don't get the influencer thing about it. And the way they mix chemicals is alarming. Have they never heard of safety? I saw one once mixing toilet cleaner with bleach. Bloody scary.

I love clea ING and I also e hot watching cleaning videos. But I also agree with the pouring various chemicals down a sink that is already pristine pristine is ridiculous because I mean it's being poured down the plughole. What is the point. I watched Hayley on obsessive compulsive cleaners say she loves bleach and just pour lots of it down the plughole, I just found it ridiculous and really quite harmful I would believe.

I do enjoy cleaning, I have 5 children so I have to keep on top of it. I have a daily routine and all the kids pitch in. Some people thinks it's obsessive but with a big family you have to keep on top of it :=) I polish my whole house top to bottom every 2 days and hoover lounge and hall 3 times a day and hoover the whole house every 2 days. I mop daily and wash all doors and door handles every 2 days too. I stay on top of it all because I can't bear mess.

I also agree that being house proud and cleaning throughly has always been a thing. My dear nana was very house proud. Her house wasn’t like the grey and white immaculate homes you see on instagram, she had lots of ornaments, mismatched curtains and wallpaper, garish patterned carpets.. but everywhere was spotless, shiny hob, kitchen floor mopped everyday, not a spec of dust or clutter anywhere, everything had its place. She was a single parent (to my dm) so had no help from a husband. She kept that up well into her 90s. She used lots of old fashioned remedies too. (Vinegar, lemon etc) but she was also very fond of this lemon scented cream cleaner.

The big difference nowadays is people make money off it on social media. I think it has become more extreme.

I find some of the videos oddly relaxing but others are just plain daft - the amount of product some influencers use and mix together is bonkers and not necessary at all.

@UsernameInTheTown

Apologies for class once again raising it's ugly head on here, but it is the modern day scrubbing the front doorstep for working-class females. If you don't have much disposable income television and cleaning are two things which fill vast swathes of time and are dirt cheap (pardon the pun). The added 'bonus' of social media fuels the whole thing and feeling good about yourself, judging others and showing off your 'achievements' makes it worth while. To each their own (my life is full of gardening and animals and I am the polar opposite of Hinch).

I agree entirely with this. (but then I am a slattern)

I just can't get into it. Social media makes me wish I was the kind of person who cleaned religiously but I'm not. I can't get excited about a new zoflora fragrance or a minky cleaning for cloth- it all represents graft for me and it's not a bloody hobby at all. Why would I have a hobby that my kids and husband and dog could destroy in five minutes flat?

It's like the pressure on us to look unrealistically amazing all the time isn't enough. Let's add the pressure of having permanently pristine homes too!
I'm only kidding really, but it is true. I don't buy into it. I enjoy a good deep clean when I feel like it, but not daily, or even weekly. It's not necessary is it?